ALL NEW AND SHINY

is it spring? everything's new around me ... for example: i work in the redlight district ... well actually i don't work in the horizontal business ... i like to sleep in my bed, and all the activities happening there would better never been called "work" by anyone who wants to keep their head ... anyway, i work there - in an office - and at lunchbreak today i noticed something "new" ... one of the sexshops has a new concept, they feature the "new man", what means they have a gay area at the first floor now, including darkroom and everything ... well, so is written on the window ... i mean ... hello? ... we are talking about a place where giggling boys and sad old men sneak in to watch weird videos in a cabin ... can you imagine tom of finland stepping in there? anyway ... me thinks that's a really weird combination

same as the other new thing in my life: schöfferhofer grapefruit. it's a beer, a hefe to be explicit. and i have to admit i am a beer snob, i mean i am german, we invented the stuff, i was pissed when they started to mix beer with other things. usually they put different flavoured soda in beer, but they up to now they spared the poor hefe. a few years ago they ruined it with bananajuice ... börks ... so i was a bit sceptic to see this hefe with grapefruit now. but nosey as i am i tried it ... and surprise!!! it's good =D well after you knocked the first few bottles down ;D
i recommend to drink it right out of the bottle, using a glas will mean it will seem that someone with a serious kidney problem peed in it. oh, and make sure it is cold ... the colder the better. i am still in testing phase and will report as soon as i found out how it tastes frozen =D

*sigh, i love science experiments =D

anyway, the song of the day is not new but i like it, so here is what i think you will definitely get when you mix the hip new man with the hip new drink ... in a hip new darkroom ...

artist: frank pop ensemble
song: hip teens (don't wear blue jeans)
album: ride on

everybody knows us
we’re always - where it’s at
everyone meets us - and wants to join our gang
we know how - to swing our thing
we know where - the in-crowd is
we’re the guys - to see you right
if you wanna set - the night alive

hey - everybody, 1 – 2, 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 aaaahhhhhhh
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re cool cats, - we got soooouuuuul
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re the in-crowd - on the sceeeeene

everyone join us,
there’s a few simple rules
you need the right look babe, - ‘cause we don’t - suffer the fools
eternal yak - that really goes
high heel sneakers - with pointed toes
mini shirts - and chelsea boots
the smartest boys - in velvet suits

hey - everybody, 1 – 2, 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 aaaaahhhhhhh
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re cool cats, - we got sooooouuuuul
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re the in-crowd - on the sceeeeene

solo (git)

hey - everybody, 1 – 2, 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 aaaaahhhhhh
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re cool cats, - we got sooooouuuuul
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re the in-crowd
on the sceeeeeene - ohhh nooooo

hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re cool cats, - we got soooouuuuul
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re the in-crowd
on the sceeeeeene

TURKS AND PORN

the education of today is: istanbul not constantinopel ... was a song by they might be giants .... and the city of constantinople, half european half asien, devided by the bosporus was named istanbul on the 28th of march in 1930. on the same day, just 47 years later ... shall i wait while you do the math? ... a young woman was born in new jersey ... or maybe in pennsylvania ... called devin. and she seemed to know jenny because when she became a stripper, we all know that you have to change names for that, she choose devon ... i don't get it ... anyway, she participated in a lot of movies - i think about watching one of them just for the research ... has anyone seen a film with her? i learned she is famous for interactive porn movies ... i mean besides the common thing, how "interactive" can a porn movie get??? so if anyone can tell me ... you know where the comment box is. and while you are there, can you leave your porn name? over here it's the name of your first pet and the english translation of your mothers maiden name ... i don't know what's your usual procedre, but i am excited to read them ... and you can call me "hansi stonecreek" now =D

so the song ... what? ... what this has to do with istanbul? well, besides the same date ... nothing i guess, well maybe the minarettes are a bit phallic ... not to speak of the big boob =D

artist: truck
song: it's just porn mum
album: i think that's the only song they ever made

friday after dinner
situation is the same over again
mum she wants to watch the news
but i just want to watch the film at ten
so i get my way again
halfway through the movie
naked bodies getting groovy on the screen
mum she changes channels, turns away
she can't believe what i just seen
embarrassed she starts to clean

it's just porn mum
you're running away
you wouldn't believe
what the kids see today

it's just porn mum
and it wont go away
wherever you turn
you find porn everyday

it's just...
billboards on the way to school
use porn to make their shit look really cool
so cool
girls i see on MTV
cover the fact their bands all look like fools
but their videos make me drool

it's just porn mum
you're running away
you wouldn't believe
what the kids see today

it's just porn mum
and it wont go away
wherever you turn
you find porn everyday

it's just porn mum
just porn mum
it's just...

mum i know that you're embarrased
but just face it
we can leave the movie on
don't think that i am so naive
that i don't have a clue where i came from

it's just porn mum
you're running away
you wouldn't believe
what the kids see today

it's just porn mum
and it wont go away
wherever you turn
you find porn everyday

it's just porn mum
you're running away
you wouldn't believe
what the kids see today

it's just porn mum
and it wont go away
wherever you turn
you find porn everyday

it's just porn mum,
just porn mum
porn mum,
it's just porn mum
it's just porn mum
just porn mum
it's just porn

ANOTHER HAPPY BIRTHDAY

did you know that quentin tarantino was named after a character burt reynolds played in smokin guns? ... me didn't so i'm again a bit smarter today ... on the other hand i forgot what i said to my coworker yesterday, what makes me think i start to get senile, what's only a problem for a while, i count on getting senile enough to forget what's talking at all ...
but i didn't forget that i love tarantino movies ... i mean not only the movies are extraordinairie, also is the music ... perfect mix for me right? and they are strange, and bloody and strange and jawdropping and bloody and great stories oh, did i mention they are bloody?? anyway, besides the fact about his name i learned he has a foot fetish, because of all the close-ups of naked feet in his movies (i didn't even noticed that as something strange...)
and because the lword had it's season finally on sunday i'll post a song of jackie brown today ... i thought about the pam grier song, but these lyrics weren't talking to me today ... or i just forgot what they said - but damn she looked hot in that movie =D ... i cannot remember a shot of her naked feet ... hmmmmmmmmm, maybe size ten is too big for him? it was ten the sneaker offered her right? ... anyway, i think i'll watch it tonight, just to celebrate mr. tarantinos birthday ... and maybe i watch kill bill too =D

so here's the song i picked today, hey pam grier is the leading character ... i think that counts too!!!

artist: delfonics
song: didn't i (blow your mind girl)
album: jackie brown ost

i gave my heart and soul to you, girl
didn't I do it baby.... didn't i do it baby

gave you the love you never knew, girl
didn't i do it baby... didn't i do it baby

i've tried so many times and that's no lie
it seems to make you laugh each time i cry

didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i, oh
didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i
listen

i thought that heart of yours was true, girl
now didn't i think it baby, babe... didn't i think it baby

but this time i'm really leavin' you, girl
hope you know it baby... hope you know it baby

ten times or more, yes, i've walked out that door
get this into your head, there'll be no more

didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i, oh
didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i

didn't i do it baby... didn't i do it baby
didn't i do it baby... didn't i do it baby

ten times or more, yes, i've walked out that door
get this into your head, there'll be no more

didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i, oh
didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i
i got to live baby
didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i, oh
didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i

THE SEASON IS OPENED

after showing a pump on thursday it's high time to inform you, that the bicycle season is open again =D what means - dear pedestrians - you better move your bloddy asses OFF my bikeway, otherwise i'll run you over. PLUS it means we have to be prepared for another comeback of winter. actually i started bikeseason last week ... well i managed to go to office by bike on tuesday, what causes a temperature drop and sleet on wednesday ... but now, and after switching to cest again, i think we can count on spring ... i still think we'll have snow on easter, but then it will be over =D

so here we go, with THE bicycle song

artist: queen
song: bicycle race
album: greatest hits

bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle
i want to ride my bike
i want to ride my bicycle
i want to ride it where i like

you say black i say white
you say bark i say bite
you say shark i say hey man
jaws was never my scene
and i don't like star wars
you say rolls i say royce
you say god give me a choice
you say lord i say christ
i don't believe in peter pan
frankenstein or superman
all i wanna do is

bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle
i want to ride my bike
i want to ride my bicycle
i want to ride it where i like

bicycle races are coming your way
so forget all your duties oh yeah!
fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today
so look out for those beauties oh yeah
on your marks get set go
bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race
bicycle bicycle bicy i want to ride my bicycle
bicycle bicycle bicycle
bicycle race

you say coke i say caine
you say john i say wayne
hot dog i say cool it man
i don't wanna be the president of america
you say smile i say cheese
cartier i say please
income tax i say jesus
i don't wanna be a candidate
for vietnam or watergate
cos all i want to do is

bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle
i want to ride my bike
i want to ride my bicycle
i want to ride it where i like

TALKS # 28 - ANATOMY OR PRECISION MECHANICS?

i am sorry, no tOni again. but a whole day earlier than usual =D and such a nice theme .... THE HEART ... let's talk about all the sentimental stuff around a simple pump. oh, i haven't talked about deseases ... how could i forget that?

anyway, i hope you'll enjoy this little piece of entertainement and follow all the recommendations =D oh, and when you are in the mood for commenting ... i would love to read your rhymes ... i am espeacially interested in rhymes with lobster tart ... but you are encouraged to be creative as hell ... after listening to this crap i disrespectfully named

the overrated pump


artists in order of appearance

ode to the lonely heart - sugar ray

there must be an angel - eurythmics

this old heart of mine - the isley brothers

heart of glass - nouvelle vague

piece of my heart - janis joplin

someday sweetheart - caterina valente

good heart - feargal sharkey

hungriges herz - mia.

feel the machine - chalets

strict machine - goldfrapp

barracuda - heart

heartbeats - jose gonzales

THE SUFFERING OF THE YOUNG MINISTRESS

i am all well again, and i don't know if that's good. i mean, i didn't know how sick i really was until my body was pumped with antibiotics and every single germ in my system died a tragic death. plus, when you have a throat infection you don't like to smoke anymore ... well me doesn't like to smoke anymore ... not that i would call myself a chimney ... but i definitely smoke enough to desentisize my nose a bit ... so imagine the surprise when me got out in public again ... not only noticing i am able to breathe, but also able to smell ... what is very nice when you are in the park passing the first blooming bushes (i saw that sparkle in your eye, nasty ... stop grinning i'm talking about plants!!!) anyway ... it's no fun anymore when you enter the public transport system.

i mean all the caverns in my head are suddenly unoccupied and trying to fill themselves with air ... unfortunately i am surrounded by stinking people ... and i can't even blame them because i think my nose is just oversensitive ... i mean i met a friend this morning and i still can smell his perfume on my shirt ... kind advice: be careful with hugging gay guys ;D ... it's weird, my smelling abilities are on 150% minimum ... and i don't like it ... but i think i know how to cure that =D plus i will get my coughing back too =D ...

hand me a fag please

artist: nana mouskuri
song: smoke gets in your eyes
album: nana in new york

they asked me how i knew
my true love was true
oh, i of course replied
something here inside cannot be denied

they said someday you'll find
all who love are blind
oh, when your heart's on fire
you must realize
smoke gets in your eyes

so i chaffed them and i gaily laughed
to think they could doubt my love
yet today my love has flown away
i am without my love

now laughing friends deride
tears i can not hide
oh, so i smile and say
when a lovely flame dies
smoke gets in your eyes
smoke gets in your eyes

SIGNS AND WONDERS

believe it or not, i am still alive =D
short update ... i was on vacation, i told you i will see my nephew ... and this shortnecked monster infected me with the most evil germs that ever entered my poor little body ...

i spear you the details ... just know that it was evil

and i survived =D

so back to business as usual ... what means crawling around on my knees begging tOni to do another podcast with me =D

but before i can celebrate my succeding in sweettalking tOni into a podcast i have to pick the song of today ... it's a very easy choice ;D

artist: cake
song: i will survive
album: fashion nugget

at first i was afraid.
i was petrified.
i kept thinking i could never live
without you by my side.
but then i spent so many nights
just thinking how you'd done me wrong.
i grew strong.
i learned how to get along.
and so you're back from outer space.
i just walked in to find you here
without that look upon your face.
i should have changed my fucking lock.
i would have made you leave your key
if i'd have known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me.

oh now go.
walk out the door.
just turn around now.
you're not welcome anymore.
weren't you the one
who tried to break me with desire?
did you think i'd crumble?
did you think i'd lay down and die?
oh not i.

i will survive.
as long as i know how to love
i know i'll be alive.
i've got all my life to live.
i've got all my love to give.
i will survive.
i will survive.

it took all the strength i had
just not to fall apart.
i'm trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart.
and i spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself.
i used to cry.
but now i hold my head up high.

and you'll see me with somebody new.
i'm not that stupid little person
still in love with you.
and so you thought you'd just drop by,
and you expect me to be free.
but now i'm saving all my lovin'
for someone who's lovin' me.

oh now go.
walk out the door.
just turn around now.
you're not welcome anymore.
weren't you the one
who tried to break me with desire?
did you think i'd crumble?
did you think i'd lay down and die?
oh not i.

i will survive.
as long as i know how to love
i know i'll be alive.
i've got all my life to live.
i've got all my love to give.
i will survive.
i will survive.

TALKS #27 – TISSUE ANYONE?

my dear little sick listeners ... i feel a bit guilty reading about everyone coughing and sneezing. i know you know how allergic i am against having a cold, so you might like to hear that me managed to fight my cold down in 36 hours with staying in bed and sweating ... no, don’t look this way, i was wearing a pj ... nasty bunch, i thought you were ill!!! ... tsk, anyway, nice as i am i tried to make you feel a bit better with some nice music. i hope you get better really soon and have a little bit fun with this audiopathic medicine especially invented just for you which is called the cougher-mix we do not take charge for any upcoming sideeffects!!!

oh, and i hope the two people that were lucky enough to stay healthy, take it as prevention =D


artists in order of appearance

hatschi-waldera – nina hagen

fever – elisa

vitamin pills – toni collette & the finish

down by the water – pj harvey

go to bed – the cure

jimmy olson’s blues – spin doctors

not the doctor – alanis morisette

the nurse – the white stripes

medication – queens of the stone age

trouble sleeping – corinne bailey rae

gonna be better - gabrielle