PROBABLY MY LAST POST FOR 2006

that's why i decided to show you all (not only edilma) me in my bathing suit =D

and even i know you don't believe me now, i am very happy to met you all. thank you for making fun out of me. thank you for ignoring my misspellings, my bad grammar, my bad manners, my sometimes a bit weird sort of humour and most of all for encouraging me to go on with that podcast thing. you don't know how much fun you gave me and i'm sad because i don't have the right words to tell you ...

but i hope i will survive my mothers attempts to make me explode ... i try to sleep as much as i can, that's the only chance to keep my mouth empty for longer than a minute ;D ... and if i am still alive after silvester i hopefully to find you all back on your blogs.

what do you think about comparing our gains of weight on jan 2nd? ;D

big gay hugs to everyone and especially to you =D

and to make sure nothing will change, here's my sentimental song for my absence

artist: my chemical romance
song: cancer
album: the black parade

turn away,
if you could get me a drink
of water cause my lips are chapped and faded
call my aunt marie
help her gather all my things
and bury me
in all my favorite colors,
my sisters and my brothers, still,
i will not kiss you,
cause the hardest part of this,
is leaving you.

now turn away,
cause i'm awful just to see
cause all my hair's abandoned all my body,
oh, my agony,
know that i will never marry,
baby, i'm just soggy from the chemo
but counting down the days to go.

it just ain't living
and i just hope you know
that if you say (if you say)
goodbye today (goodbye today)
i'd ask you to be true (cause i'd ask you to be true)
cause the hardest part of this
is leaving you...

cause the hardest part of this
is leaving you...

I HAD NO IDEA!!!

that the mentioning of chili would have been such a big deal =D

first of all, i am not talking about this much chili that you get the feeling it burns down your throat after swallowing, hurting your voicecords, boiling your guts, burning through your whole body on its way back down to the liquid centers of this planet where it obviously came from ... me was talking about a tiny little bit of chili ... tickeling your tongue, open up your taste buds for the delicious experience of halfbitter chocolate filled with a exquisitly sweet cherry ... excuse me... could you please stop slavering??? =D

so, today my advice is this ... watch "chocolat" a wonderful movie with the brilliant madmoiselle juliette binoche, and my dear johnny depp and not to forget alfred molina

if you haven't seen it yet ... do it ... not knowing this movie is a sin ;D

so what might be the song of the day today??? what do you think about this?

artist: hot chocolate
song: girl crazy
album: greatest hits of the 80ies

i don't care 'bout the colour of her hair
or the colour of the skin that she's wrapped in.
all i want is a personality
that's right for me
that's all i seek.
i don't care if she's rich or poor
the door to my heart is open wide.
if you're lonely for someone to love then why don't you just come inside.
'cause i'm girl crazy
crazy
i'm girl crazy
i'm girl crazy
for a girl crazy
i'm girl crazy
crazy for a girl who's boy crazy
for a boy like me - oh yeah.
i don't care that the clothes that she wears
isn't amazing or debonair. All i want is love and affection
for whatever direction
i don't care.
i don't mind if she can't dance. i'll teach her to dance in ev'ry way
and if by chance she's new to romance

i'll teach her to make love night and day.
'cause i'm girl crazy
crazy
i'm girl crazy
i'm girl crazy . . .
i'll be your lover
i'll be your friend.
i'll stay with you darling
till the very end 'cause -
i'm girl crazy
crazy
i'm girl crazy
i'm girl crazy
i'm girl crazy
crazy
i'm girl crazy
i'm girl crazy
i'm girl crazy
crazy
i'm girl crazy
i'm girl crazy . . .

CHRISTMAS TIME - PRESENT TIME

yesterday i got a present ... i don't know if it everywhere like here, the people you work with, are giving you presents to make sure, you'll book them again next year ... so i got four nice little pralinees yesterday ... one looking like this ... i mean ?!?!!! i'm sorry, maybe i should send this one to the vampire, because it would fit into her week-theme ... but, egoistic little bastard that i am i just ate it =D

well it looked better than it tasted ... it's filled with some evil creme containing lots of schnaps ... there was another one with chilli and a cherry ... THAT was great ... and the best was the one all covered in cacaopowder ... looked so boring, tasted very bitter at first, but after you bite it ... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yummy =D

did i mentioned before I LIKE EATING? =D

anyway, i think there's something to learn out of this ... don't judge a pralinee by it's cover!!!
bite them first ;D

WHAT? =D

and because i'm in such a good mood, the song of the day is from my most favourite album of all times again. and watch out for the german "sweet home über alles" - i love that!!

and i hope you find something you can bite today ;D

artist: hedwig & the angry inch
song: sugar daddy
album: hedwig & the angry inch (ost)

i've got a sweet tooth
for licorice drops and jelly roll.
hey sugar daddy,
hansel needs some sugar in his bowl.
i'll lay out fine china on the linen
and polish up the chrome
if you've got some sugar for me,
sugar daddy bring it home.

black strap molasses,
you're my orange blossom honey bear.
bring me Versace blue jeans
and black designer underwear.
we'll dress up like the disco-dancing jet set
in Milan and Rome.
if you got some sugar for me,
sugar daddy bring it home.

oh the thrill of control,
like the rush of rock and roll,
it's the sweetest taste i've known,
if you've got some sugar bring it home

when honey bees go shopping
it's something to be seen.
they swarm to wild flowers
and get nectar for the queen.
and every thing you bring me
got me dripping like a honeycomb,
and if you've got some sugar for me,
sugar daddy, bring it home.

oh the thrill of control,
like a Blitzkrieg on the roll,
it's the sweetest taste i've known,
so if you've got some sugar
bring it home.
oh come on, sugar daddy, bring it home!

whiskey and french cigarettes,
a motorbike with high- speed jets,
a waterpik, a cuisinart,
and a hypo-allergenic dog.
oh, i want all the luxuries of the modern age,
and every item on every page
in the Lillian Vernon catalogue.

so you think only a woman
can truly love a man.
then you buy me the dress
i'll be more woman than a man like you can stand.
i'll be your Venus on a chocolate clam shell
rising on a sea of marshmallow foam,
and if you've got some sugar for me,
sugar daddy, bring it home.

it's our tradition to control,
like Erich Honecker and Helmut Kohl, [remember him?]
from the Ukraine to the Rhone.
sweet home uber alles,
lord, i'm coming home.
so come on, sugar daddy, bring me home.

IT'S SOMEONES BIRTHDAY TODAY

dear sissi ... i wish you all the best ... and that you finally finish your godamn diploma =D

and because me is so sweet, and nice ... and hasn't a single mean thought in the back of the brain ... here's the song dedicated to you

graz is ja schon ne stadt gell ;D

have a fantastic day and eat lots of cake

big gay hugs
nico


artist: hubert von goiser
song: koa hiatamadl
album: aufgeigen statt niederschießn

jå mei, jå mei
wenn i mir um a diandl schau
dann woaß i scho genau
rund muaß sei
und a wengerl resch
u mei

mei, jå mei
de meist'n weiba håm a gstell
zaundürr und måger wiadawäll
mei, jå mei
a solch' oane de kunnt's nia sei

koa hiatamadl måg i nit
håt koane dickn wadln nit
i måg a madl aus da stadt
wås dicke wadln håt

mei, jå mei
die moni mit de greana'n hoar
is schena nu wia vorigs jahr
håt a gråd
nit wenig auf da wåag

mei - u mei
de annamiarl kenn i schon
da renn i liaba glei davon
is nix dran
net hint'n und net vorn dran

koa hiatamadl måg i nit
håt koane dickn wadln nit
i måg a madl aus da stadt
wås dicke wadln håt

schen san de landlertanz
schen san de almenkranz
drob'n au'fn huat
baid' schen quigizen tuat


and because i know you have no idea what i'm talking about, here is the soundfile ;D

hiatamadl

YOU SEE MY BREAKFAST

this is something like the german kind of sushi - we call it a "rollmops", and it's THE essential thing to cure a hangover. and we are talking about a bad hangover. yesterday we had our offices christmas party. it was late, it was loud and alot of liquids were involved ... most of them containing alcohol. besides that i smoked far to much. and if i can find this bastard who put that old sock in my mouth while i was sleeping, i'm gonna kill him! - as soon as i can bend down again without fearing my head might explode.
so the rollmops counter is on 2 at the moment, aspirin too, and i think i'll switch to vegetable juice in the next five minutes =D so please be kind and don't leave any loud comments - thank you...

the song of today is just because i want to punish myself ... especially for the smoking!!! you know the part with the trumpets? when she starts sceaming? - punishment!

artist: björk
song: it's oh so quiet
album: post

it's. oh. so quiet
it'a oh. so still
you're all alone
and so peaceful until...

you fall in love
zing boom
the sky up above
zing boom
is caving in
wow bam
you've never been so nuts about a guy
you wanna laugh you wanna cry
you cross your heart and hope to die

'til it's over and then
it's nice and quiet
but soon again
starts another big riot

you blow a fuse
zing boom
the devil cuts loose
zing boom
so what's the use
wow bam
of falling in love

it's. oh. so quiet
it's. oh. so still
you're all alone
and so peaceful until...

you ring the bell
bim bam
you shout and you yell
hi ho ho
you broke the spell
gee. this is swell you almost have a fit
this guy is "gorge" and i got hit
there's no mistake this is it

'til it's over and then
it's nice and quiet
but soon again
starts another big riot

you blow a fuse
zing boom
the devil cuts loose
zing boom
so what's the use
wow bam
of falling in love

the sky caves in
the devil cuts loose
you blow blow blow blow blow your fuse
when you've fallen in love

ssshhhhhh...

SORRY WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT PENIS TODAY

one of my favourite magazines returned to the kiosk at the weekend ... after ten years of absence. well i was warned, but nevertheless it hit me very hard ... it sucked!
anyway ... you may ask yourself, what this and that disgusting headline have in common ... i'll tell you. the mag tried to cover the gap of ten years of absence by telling what happened in the last ten years... so i learned that a hiv-positive patient swallowed roundabout 42.705 pills in that decade, 1.7 million hosels were given away at the dome of cologne, a yorksire-terrier produces 1.4 tons of shit in that timeperiod and TADAH during the last ten years 19 penises were cut of by betrayed wifes ... mostly with kitchen-knifes, some with scissors, one was bitten off, one was riped off, one was flushed down the toilet, one was thrown out of a driving car (i wonder if that's the one that was riped of) and one was burned...

well now i ask myself ... 19?? that's quite a few. i thought it were more. maybe it's just the german count ... and it's possible that some betrayed ladie who weren't married to the bastard got a bit angry too, just weren't listed on the wifes scale ... whatever, i expected more

maybe we can encrease the rate of cut of penises for the next decade with this song?

HEY COME ON THAT'S SARCASM... I'M KIDDING ... HELLOOOOO?

*roflmao


artist: the long blondes
song: a knife for the girls
album: someone to drive you home

you gave me a chance at the Palais to dance to prove i'm worth your time,
you gave me a chance to prove I'm more than just an also ran

a knife for the girls who want to come home for just one night,
a knife for the girls who never return your calls

you gave me a chance at the Palais to dance to prove i'm worth your time,
you gave me a chance to prove I'm more than just an also ran

something happened to change your mind, something happened i don't know why,
and now you reach for my hand and you cut me again
you've got a knife for the girls and a knife for the man
i don't mind seeing your face around, but we can never speak again
(no no no)

a knife for the men who've taken the heat off you this time,
a knife for the men who keep you awake at night
this could be the last time you could say for sure
you know i'm here if you need a girl

something happened to change your mind, something happened i don't know why,
and now you reach for my hand and you cut me again
you've got a knife for the girls and a knife for the man
Iin't mind seeing your face around, but we can never speak again
(no no no)

but in a back room in high heels when you said i was a superstar,
what did you mean, what did you mean?
high heels, high heels, high heels,
well in a back room in high heels, what did you mean?

now you reach for my hand and you cut me again,
you've got a knife for the girls and a knife for the man
i don't mind seeing your face around, but we can never speak again

i got my souvenir, i got my souvenir
well, in a back room in high heels i got my souvenir

my baby doll, don't go to London,
don't go to London, no no no
don't go to London,
don't go to London, no no no
don't go to London,
don't go to London, no no no
don't go to London,
don't go to London, no no no

TALKS # 17 - TORTURING THE (S)AINT

it was a fantastic evening! i'm suffering from a slight hangover because of to much cookies and chocolate filled with schnaps ... kind advice: don't mix cherrywater (mon cherie) with jamaika rum (baumkuchen) and red wine ... you will drink yourself into a state of mind where you might forget basic words from your first foreign language ... me did =D you'll hear it ...

i think tOni did a great job, if we are not mentioning the two songs that had to be cut off because of being to painful for the ministresses ears, so don't be afraid if you hear something horrible, it might be over soon.

oh, and we had a few soundproblems too. because tOni insisted on recording my reaction to the songs she picked ... what leads to a few feedbacks, we hope you dont mind ... and of course we ran out of time again, even though tOni managed to reduce from 75 to 28 during the day, and from 28 to 12 during the recording.

so to make this clear, we hope you'll have at least a little bit of fun while listening and we would be happy if you download us again even if you might hurt your ears a bit while listening to this extraordinarie piece of podcast-art which our dear tOni simply - and with a lot of understatement - calls the ultimate tribute to nico.

and you are luckier than me because you know the tracks before you hear them. here they are, in order of appearance.

last christmas - the boss hoss

something stupid - nicole kidman & robbie williams

where the wild roses grow - nick cave & kylie minogue

each time you break my heart - nick kamen

schmidtchen schleicher - nico haak

these days - nico

bushes - markus nicolai

fuck christmas - erik idle

edge of seventeen - stevie nicks

mr. moneymaker - helga willie & the nicolets

wouldn't it be good - nik kershaw

coming home - sasha

DECEMBER 6TH - OFFICIAL NICO DAY

=D

ok, prepare to sing and dance for me ... because today is my nameday! we honour saint nicolaus today, the saint of the seamen and children and students ... who came from turkey - a town called myra to be explicit - and he wasn't all red and white up to 1931 when mr. haddon sundblom, an advertisement-painter decided it would be a good idea to use saint nicolaus to sell brown soda. yes it's all the fault of coca cola. the flag of turkey is red and white too, a coincidence? what about switzerland, where the yummy chocolate comes from ... which usually is found in our shoes on the morning of the 6th, because saint nicolaus rewarded us for being nice and sweet all year? - wait! - HAH! now i know why my toes ached the whole morning ;D

no, stop it ... i already started feeling like an old lady. only talking about aching bodyparts ... the part with my toes was a joke ... do you really think i put a single shoe on today without shaking the last bit of chocolate out there?? =D

and because today is a name day we should have a song about names... here we go

artist: smashmouth
song: pet names
album: fush yu mang

just when i thought everything would be ok
just when i started to believe that everything was going my way
out came the cloud from under my feet
crashing back down to reality

you used to call me pumpkin now i'm halloween
remember when i used to your jellybean
you used to call me schnookums and shit like that
now you're after me with a baseball bat

i remember when i used to be the king
your honey sweet darling baby everything
i used to be your tall dark mystery man
now i'm just straight up history man

just when i thought everything would be all right
just when i started to believe that everything was out of sight
you left me with nothing but a scribbled note
that said i would no longer be your love boat
from here on out my pet name would be x
your x your x your x

it used to be sugar then it turned into salt
i used to rock your world now I'm standing on a fault line
lying naked in a hail storm in the dark
you're my little tornado and I am your trailer park
you used to call me names too cute to repeat
like honey bunch hairy bear and piccolo peet
goochy goochy goo goo gaga shit like that
now you're after me screaming you dirty rat

i don't remember applying for a name change
so why is it you're calling me mister deranged
psychopathic pornographic stinking drunk
failing fast lying ass worthless punk

you used to call me sweety pie and baby doll
i guess another studs kicking in my stall
you'll probably call him superman or loverboy
you'll probably disregard him like a broken toy

just when he thought everything was going his way
just he started to believe everything was hunky dory
he'll look at that cloud that he's standing on
and with an itsy bitsy tiny little almost inaudible squeak
he'll notice
it's gone

from here on out his pet name would be x
your x your x your x

sweet pie?
no x
honey bunch?
no x
bubble butt?
no x
pumpkin face
x


and the best part of this whole name-day-thing is ... tOni will do a podcast for me tonight ... minimum 75 songs! just for me =D - i'm so excited!!!

SPEAKING OF HAIRDRYERS

and the 80ies and how this fits together =D

well you can call yourself lucky, because you don't have my head on your shoulders. normally the aching in there is a result of stampeding thoughts that get themself some bruises on the inside of the skull (i told them a thousand times they should move a bit slower but noooooo ... the little bastards have to jump around like crazy) anyway... today the hurting in there is a result of an evil weather-phaenomenon called "föhn" which also means tadah "hairdryer" and doubletadah is translated to english with "foehn" so it seems you know what i'm talking about.

if you don't here we go ... at föhn (i like the umlaute - is it ok if i use them?) cool air is lying on top of the warm air, so the warm air cannot escape, but the warm air is old and breathed in and out a lot of times, she really deserves to be refreshes with some oxygen, but the cold bastard wouldn't let her go so she gets mad and refuses to be healthy anymore, and because she is so angry, she builds up a lot of pressure and because i'm a sensible little thing i notice that and it makes my head ache ... get me that cold air so i can kick its ass!!

(if anyone can explain the föhn-phaenomenon any better - feel free ... tsk, smartass!)

plus it's fullmoon too, so i cannot sleep ... i guess the universe is bored and plays mean games with me ... so this is for you miss universe ... it's just a rhetorical question

artist: culture club
song: do you really want to hurt me
album: kissing to be clever

give me time
to realize my crime
let me love and steal
i have danced
inside your eyes
how can i be real
do you really want to hurt me
do you really want to make me cry
precious kisses words that burn me
lovers never ask you why
in my heart
the fires burning
choose my colour
find a star
precious people always tell me
that's a step
a step too far
do you really want to hurt me
do you really want to make me cry
do you really want to hurt me
do you really want to make me cry
words are few
i have spoken
i could waste a thousand years
wrapped in sorrow
words are token
come inside and catch my tears
you've been talking but believe me
if it's true
you do not know
this boy loves without a reason
i'm prepared to let you go
if it's love you want from me
then take it away
everything is not what you see
it's over today

HONOUR THE BRAVE

someone came out on the weekend ... and i'm very proud of her

so i think it's a very good reason for some love & pride


artist: king
song: love & pride
album: wave pop revival

that's what my heart yearns for now - love and pride.
that's what my heart yearns for now - love and pride.

start your journey early or maybe later
get your boots on

look for rainbows
it's cloudy

take your hairdryer
blow them all away.

in you i've found a story i want to keep hearing.
in you i see all colours
not just black or white.
in you i find a reason and hope for all dreamers

you are my fill
you're my supply of love and pride.
that's what my heart yearns for now - love and pride. . . .

knowing
sensing
seeing
eating
sleeping
that's just being.
touching
testing
loving
wanting and taking

more love and more pride.
in you i've found a story i want to keep hearing. . . .

i'm taking it round the world - some love and pride.
that's what my heart yearns for now - love and pride. . . .
that's what my heart yeanis for now - love and pride. . . .