TALKS # 08 - OMPHALOSKEPSIS

or, for the more simple minds like me: navel-gazing. it was less sentimental than it may sound, and it was definitely more narcistic than it's good ... but anyway, it was great fun. tOni is back from her boat, her skincolour changed to a very very dark olive tone and i hate her for that. i also hate her for bringing 21 songs instead of the required 5 but i definitely love her for singing along her current lovesong =D.

so, yes... like promised in the teaser of last week we stole the theme from peanutbutterwolf and slo and put together the soundtracks of our lifes. i learned a lot of interesting new stuff about tOni... it was a great evening! we talked a bit to much so we had a timeproblem at the end, and we are really sorry about that... let's say, the goodbye is a bit short, and way below what you deserve for listening to our crap... but it was just because the lack of time... if we only had more of that, we would -of course- have kissed your virtual feet =D ... so the information that's missing... "goodbye" must have been played for two reasons... first, nico don't wants to end her life in a melodramatic way, and second i don't like the thought you might jump out of the window ;D ... and then we would have droped a few faked buttkissing compliments for being so kind to listen to us, and we hope you'll tune in again and doubletongued stuff like that =D

and if you are against better knowledge still interested to listen, here is what the ministry calls the narcistic revue

tracklist - in order of appearance

it's my life - no doubt

(s)aint - marilyn manson

yes sir, i can boogie - baccara

leuchtturm - nena

7 days - craig david

last resort - papa roach

i kissed a girl - jill sobule

sail away - david gray

stay forever - ween

from a shell - lisa germano

goodgye - sasha

HMMMM, PEACHES ... YUMMiE!!!

mwuahahahaha, i saw her... i didn't touched her but i saw her. what a concert. she started sitting high above us under the ceiling of the hall dressed in golden leather... well, not much of it ... and as soon as she got down from there she started to strip. *sssssssssssssssss HOT!

speaking of hot... the drummer! *AAAAAAAAAAAAH if mrs. nico would have let go of my ear i would have jumped on stage! and a nanosecond later on that drummer!!! so i think i can say, if there is no female bassplayer to jump on, i'll take female drummers... they only have to wear a platinum blond quiff, make gumbubbles (of course the gum was pink) and do funny tricks with the sticks ... oops, sorry i was drooling again =D

but speaking of mrs. nico... she's suffering from a little rib contusion... but that poor bastard who tried to beat up the moshpit is suffering from a nearly broken shinbone i guess... he hammered his elbow in her side, she turned around and kicked him.. it was great =D ... he had tears in his eyes when he was begging for forgiveness ... *sigh, my girl =D

and another great part was the support: PLANNINGTOROCK i can only recommend to watch out for this girl. if you have the chance to see her live... go there. she is excellent.. a bit weird but excellent. and the videoshow of her is brilliant. watch that if you can!

and the song of today is of course the song with the most audience participation of yesterday evening... FUCK THE PAIN AWAY ...


artist: peaches
song: fuck the pain away
album: the teaches of peaches

suckin' on my titties like you wanted me,
callin me, all the time like blondie
check out my chrissy behind
it's fine all of the time
like sex on the beaches,
what else is in the teaches of peaches? huh? what?

suckin' on my titties like you wanted me,
callin me, all the time like blondie
check out my chrissy behind
it's fine all of the time
what else is in the teaches of peaches?
like sex on the beaches. huh? what?

huh? right. what? uhh.
huh? what? right. uhh.
huh? what? right. uhh.
huh? what? right. uhh.

SIS IUD, stay in school coz it's the best.
IUD SIS, stay in school coz it's the best.
IUD SIS, stay in school coz it's the best.
IUD SIS, stay in school coz it's the best.

suckin' on my titties like you wanted me,
callin me, all the time like blondie
check out my chrissy behind
it's fine all of the time.
what else is in the teaches of peaches?
like sex on the beaches. huh? what?


fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away.
fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away.
fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away.
fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away..
fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away.
fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away.
fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away..
fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away.

huh? what? right. uhh. huh? what? right. uhh.
what else in the teaches of peaches, like sex on the beaches.
huh? what? right. uhh.

fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away.
fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away.
fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away.
fuck the pain away. fuck the pain away..

THEY ARE TRYING TO KILL ME

i mean i am a tolerant person... if they send me a nice young lady with not to much stuff on ... shot me, it will be fine. but a stupid opel vectra? in bordeaux? this is disgusting... i mean what would you say, if someone tries to run you over with the ugliest car you can imagine? you have no idea!... i had no idea too. to be honest i was a bit surprised, how many bad words i know, and how loud i can scream them... this blind idiot in that disgusting vehicle was a bit surprised too as i stood there like rumpelstielzchen next his window.... i think he was a bit afraid, i might bite his head off. but no way, someone who drives such a car can not use a head you want to take in your mouth... so, i think it's high time to write down some rules, for dispatching nico. so, if you really have to run me over with your car, make sure it is a nice one... a citroen ds for example ... so if you have to kill me, i want to die under the wheels of the goddess of cars... that isn't to much to ask i think... and before i faint please put a cigarette between my lips... gitanes, no filter, thanx... and make sure the police take their pictures in black and white... and can we do this whole thing at daybreak, the light is better.... an opel vectra!... no wonder i jumped off that bike like colt seavers himself...
so, my dear little possums, i survived this stupid moron with a drivers license, you can start your dances of joy now. and to every one of you who drives a car... here's an advice... these funny things on two wheels without a motor are bikers... and in 9 out of 10 cases they are faster than you think. so it's no wonder the song of the day is OPEN YOUR EYES

artist: guano apes
song: open your eyes
album: proud like a god

hide your face forever
dream and search forever

have you ever been for sale ?
when your isms get smart
oh so selfish and mindless
with that comment in your eye

do you think that you are hard ?
really harder than the other
man you're acting cold
if you are not in charge

don't split your mentality
without thinking twice
your voice has got no reason
now is the time to face your lies

open your eyes, open your mind
proud like a god don't pretend to be blind
trapped in yourself, break out instead
beat the machine that works in your head

will you offer me some tricks
if i ever need them
would you go into that room
if i call 'em

do you think that you are better
really better than the rest
realize there's a problem
i know that you can give your best

have you ever had a dream?
or is life just a trip?
a trip without chances
a chance to grow up quick

open your eyes, open your mind
proud like a god don't pretend to be blind
trapped in yourself, break out instead
beat the machine that works in your head

hide your face forever
dream and search forever
night and night you feel nothing
there's no way outside of my land

open your eyes, open your mind
proud like a god don't pretend to be blind
trapped in yourself, break out instead
beat the machine that works in your head

TALKS # 07 - LESSONS IN DEUTSCH

welcome to the educational aspect of the internet... today we will learn something about germany... rather about german music ... let's see, where is my tuba???

HAH! prejudices!... (oh, and by the way... to two special someones out there: HAH! and HAH!) ... you will learn your lesson ladies... we have fantastic music over here, and we have had it since years... decades.... we are the culture cuntry... of course i know! i "forgot" it on purpose!!... =D so, prepare to listen to my favourite german music - i'll try to explain the meaning of the songs to the ones who are not able to understand our funny little language, and maybe i'll send translations on kind requests - sooooo, don't be afraid... and have lots of fun.

and because of circumstances we all just know toooooo well, today the ministress will drool about maids in germany


and here - in order of appearance - the fantabulous tracklist

das kommt weil ich so schön bin - nina hagen

erschießen - ideal

zwei sekunden - spillsburry

zeit für optimisten - silbermond

engel - mia.

du bist schön von hinten - stereo total

liebe & revolution - die braut haut ins auge

ruhig blut - paula

wildschweinserenade - cora frost


*sigh, noticed? just maids!! =D

MY LIFE AS AN ONION

ok, are you familiar with seasons? i mean "the four seasons"? not the vivaldi ones... the real ones... spring, summer, autumn, winter... that stuff.... me is... and as a good german i hate it, of course =D
so at the moment we have the socalled old-women-summer ... if i hear anyone say "fits perfect to you" i'll bite some heads off, promised... so the good thing about this time of the year is... it's warm, the sun is shining, the leaves are getting yellow and red.. it's wonderful... the bad thing about this time of the year... i have a few problems mounting my bike... nono, thanks for asking, the muscle-cat is gone as promised, it's because of all these jackets and pullovers and hats i have to wear... it's fucking cold in the morning... and if someone invents a special protection-clothing for my nose, i'll buy it!!!... i hate getting cold!!! ... anyway... i maderate to the office... shivering!!... and there it is warm! not to say hot! .... so i have to peel myself out of all this stuff again... my co-worker gets laughing-cramps watching my early-morning-striptease-show... off with the hat .... out of the raintrousers ( excellent protection against the wind!!)... out of the anorak... out of the jumper... (at this point i usally start sweating)... kicking the chucks off my feet... out of the socks... on with the flipflops (better) ... watching my comrade rolling on the floor ... wondering why she is still this tanned... smacking my hand to my forehead... taking off the sunglasses ... *sigh... somehow i like it =D

and speaking of the onion principle... i think we need a song about tears today, don't we?

artist: marc almond
song: tears run rings
album: stars we are

on heavenly rain
you fell into my life
unforgettable smile
unforgettable lies
in the name of the cross
or a banner of love
with the hand of a friend
or under a blanket of trust

the angels sighed
a little girl cried
the tears run rings around my eyes

we're going to set fire
to the house in my heart
we're going to set fire
to the whole damn world
i don't understand
the wicked things we do
in the name of the good
in the name of the few

the angels sighed
the little girl cried
the tears run rings around my eyes

don't look at me
with your innocent smile
when the bed is burning
around my head
when a war breaks out
it'll be no surprise
your unforgettable smile
your unforgettable lies

and i've got to stop running
to make my start
we've got to get together
before we fall apart

they're pulling down the old slums
to build the new
they're bringing back the old rules
to please the few
in the name of the cross
or a banner of love
with the hand of a friend
or under a blanket of trust

the angels sighed
a little girl cried
the tears run rings around my eyes

pull down the old slums
to build the new
pull down the love
i built with you
promise of tomorrow
you never kept
and you try to burn the house down
when i slept
the nation's in disorder
there's chaos in my heart
we've got to get together
before we fall apart

UNFOURTUNATELY I WAS SERIOUS!!!

so who thought i was making fun with shaping up for the season? just for your information... i ate roundabout two pounds of gingerbread... that's the funny part of it... the not so funny part was the running... two rounds added... oooooooh, and the sit-ups.... *outch... and these damn push-ups... *öffz... nooooooooooooooooo.... please, don't! do not speak about these knee-bends.... YES! i have a musclecat... *narf, i don't care how you call it overseas... it hurts!... i would say the human body contains seventhousandthreehundredandfour muscles and every single one of them hurts! ... yes, of course the one in the jaw too, are you blind? i wrote 2 pounds gingerbread were eaten... do you think i just swallowed them? ... *pft... anyway, it's big fun... everything hurts, worst part is getting in or out of things... showers, clothes, cars... but someone told me the second day is worst, that's today... so i'm looking forward to tomorrow... =D ... and here's the song for today, i should have listened to that two days ago i guess *no, no please don't laugh aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah



artist: the scientists
song: nobody move, nobody gets hurt
album: with love and squalok


the day you move i'm probably going to explode
it's true, I'm probably going to explode
oh oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh oh
you'll pray for proof, i'm probably making this up
it's true, I'm probably making this up
oh oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh oh

because my body is your body
i won't tell anybody
if you want to use my body
go for it, yeah

my body is your body
i won't tell anybody
if you want to use my body
go for it, yeah
go for it, yeah

if no one moves then nobody's going to get hurt
don't move, 'cause nobody wants to get hurt
oh oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh oh
you'll pray for proof, I'm probably making this up
it's true, i'm probably making this up
oh oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh oh

because my body is your body
i won't tell anybody
if you want to use my body
go for it, yeah

my body is your body
i won't tell anybody
if you want to use my body
go for it, yeah
go for it, yeah

because my body is your body
i won't tell anybody
if you want to use my body
go for it, yeah

my body is your body
and i'm not just anybody
if you want to use my body
go for it, yeah
go for it, yeah

TALKS # 06 - SHAPING UP

O.K. - it's warm outside... sun is shining... my new t-shirt has it's print on the inside =D... and maderating through the streets on the bike is still big fun... the icecubes slowly melt in my martini... and we will have a barbecue on saturday... sooooooo what pops up in your mind while reading this? - silly question! snowboard season of course! it's high time for getting in shape!!! so we'll do some push-ups, and sit-ups (very impotant) and knee-bends... aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand most important!!! a load of head-bangs *mwuahaha.

enjoy the loudest podcast so far (STROMGITARREN!!!!!) and have fun with the ministress speaking about the boarderline syndrom


we are maderating downhill with:

c'est comme ca - les rita mitsouko

you can't stop me - guano apes

i can dream - skunk anansie

bimbo - lambretta

kick it - peaches & iggy pop

you're speaking my language - juliette & the licks

call me - blondie

nobodies wife - anouk

you know what they do... - my chemical romance

no, not down - hot hot heat

it's not the fall that hurts - caesars

WATCH OUT!!!!


a new scissor sisters album will be out soon... on the 15th of september to name it.
i think the first release is very promissing and i'm looking forward to this. how should i stand the next 10 days, without the sisters, without tOni and with a co-worker that returned from a vacation in tunisia and has an awful tan... i mean she is absorbing the whole light in the room... so it is no wonder that i don't feel like dancing

oh, and thanx to slo again, for "the explanaition" ;D