the ministress of silly listens

2008-11-11T22:59:00.002+01:00

THE PUSSY DIARIES

hello my dear possums,

have i mentioned how much i love my job lately? yes, yes, yes ... i know i couldn't mention anything lately cause my dear love was occupying me a lot. bur you might like to hear that i am not turned into a ginormous popsicle yet ... actually the only notice i get from the weather is when i stand out on the balcony for having a smoke ... if you haven't yet, this is the moment you could insert a heartfelt AWWWWWWWWWWW for poor little nico.
who literally has to write pussy diaries at the moment ... we have a new project at the office trying to sell catfood ... and i am the diary ghostwriter for a very snobby cat ... which also explains why the picture shows barbara cartland, the queen of romancenovells ... like which i feel at the moment. and what scares me even more than wearing pink is the fact that it is so damn easy to write that crap ... it just flows out of my fingers ... i just thank the universe for our lector, because i cannot spellcheck the stuff because i would have to read it again ... i am afraid i'll dream of fabio tonight ....

so to get this evil thought out of my tortured little brain we need some music ... fast ...

i thought about pussycatdolls first ... but then i found something i REALLY like at the moment ... and it also fits to the theme ;D

2008-09-15T19:57:00.003+02:00

I AM FREEZING

it is cold like a witchtit!!! ... poor me is chattering my teeth like crazy and i think i'll be sick in no time. i was informed that you do not get a cold by cold weather but by germs but here is something very scary i found out ... you know where i live right .. so now say many germ and again ... and faster and faster you see? many germ many germ manygermanygermanygermany ... I AM DOOOMED!!!!

so it is absolutely necessary to prepare for the season ... we need soup ... noodlesoup!
so i highly recommend this movie: tampopo ... a wonderful japanese movie about the perfect noodlesoup and in general about eating. it's great =D

here's a little teaser

2008-09-10T15:30:00.002+02:00

EVERYTHING NEW!!!

hey sweeties, see the song that's stuck in my head at the moment (be carefull, it IS sticky, don't tell me you haven't been warned)

it's peter fox one of the 13 performers of my beloved seeed ... wow, if they are up to put out 13 solo projects it'll be a riot =D

anyway ... here's the song ... enjoy

2008-09-08T12:21:00.001+02:00

NOT FAIR!!!

you cannot blame the poor germans for everything ...

have a great week

2008-09-04T14:41:00.002+02:00

JUST FOR YOUR INFORMATION

it’s exactly 111 days until christmas. you might ask yourself, why i’m telling you this ... and you can believe me noone is more excited about the fact that it is 111 days today ... because i found that out by accident. (another proof for my theorie that life is constant fun, you just have to keep your eyes open ;D ) so this morning i was going to the grocery store to get me some nice breakfast ... and right next to the fridge with the yummy salami was this huge pile of gingerbread ... gingerbread i thought hmmm ... i recognized that on monday ... i still think it’s a bit early, but ... who cares =D ... so today i had my first gingerbread of the season ... i don’t know, it was a bit weird, yummy, but weird ... i think i said that last year too around this time of the year (another proof for my theorie that i never learn as long as something yummy is involved) but anyway, now it gets funny. please put on your helmets, i’ll explain the connection to the song of the day ...
*harrumph

gingerbread is our starting position. from here we go to ginger, which is a total must when you have shushi, which leads us to the long time not heard album of neneh cherry called raw like sushi, which contains the song the next generation which fits perfectly because i just ate my first piece of the new generation of gingerbread TADAAAAH ... FULL CIRCLE!!! =D

*fallen on the face by bowing*

have a great day

artist: neneh cherry
song: the next generation
album: raw like sushi

autumn breeze, a spring tease
summer days and winter nights
the seasons change and that's a fact
is it not
domo arigato, danke, merci

mothers and daughters, fathers and sons
here's hoping you'll know the right time when it comes
like i did 'cause i knew though nobody told
me a damn thing about how the world grows
right here before you, you can't even blink if you do you'll miss it so take time to think
about your position, your place in this world
about what you're here for so check it out girl
boys to the right and you're in this too
come on be real now can we count on you
to be strong and to love us like through thick and thin with your heart and your soul not the size of your dick.

yeah, uh huh yeah uh huh
so check this out
hey what's this sitting in my lap
why it's the next generation.
and do you know what comes from the best love in the world you could possibly ever have,
yes it's the next generation

the children are the chosen ones,
society's got it's piorities wrong. the schools are closing down.
don't be messing with our future - black babies, white babies,
quarter puerto ricans, two sixths chinese,
any combination you could possibly imagine,
but this important as the ground we walk on, people are people you know what i mean,
even the baby with a portaphone
attached to its' buggy pushed by a clone
and the black market baby that unwanted baby.
for 50,000 it belonged to the rich
well he didn't like his face,
she said it didn't matter
'cause her husband was a surgeon.
ha ha ha ha - urr - sick
ain't ain't that ain't that sick -
shucks it breaks my heart.
operate on a baby urr sick.
-acapo

*this post is dedicated to e who said i shouldn't BE a stranger so i decides to ACT stranger ;D

2008-09-02T10:57:00.001+02:00

MORE LESSONS IN GERMAN

hello my dear possums, how are you? yes, i’ve been absent for a while, but lets not talk about that ;D
lets talk about the weird little twists in the german language. or in the english language ... i think it depends on the angle from which you’re looking at it ...or the continent ... anyway ... please, concentrate, i will do a schlagerpodcast as promissed, but it has to maturate a bit more ... its a big theme, trust me, i’m working on it ;D

so lets go back to the language thingy ... so you americans call a hot girl chick ... which from my angle seems to be a bit weird, because i can’t see anything hot in a chick, well if it’s not twisting on a rotisary being grilled ... i don’t understand, where does this come from? is it the gaggling? is this what is compared with women? i don’t know? do you have any ideas? maybe my problem is, that over here, we don’t have HOT chicken ... well besides the rotating ones i talked about already ... our chicks are crazy. in a nice gaggling way, but it has nothing to do with hotness. we call our hot chicks hot snails ... yes i know, at first sight this sounds a bit disgusting, but on the second sight it makes sense ... and is a bit disgusting and dirty ... because the reason why we call them snails is because we call the primary female sexual characteristic aka the p word snail too ... oh comeon, don’t be such a primary female sexual characteristic =D
so anyway, this morning i found these great snails ... they are seasnails ... nude seasnails to be explicit ... and i thought they are beautiful, and that’s what i wanted to share and so i bothered you with all these evil words and you better be thankfull that i wrote at all because i am in a very strange mood at the moment and grumpy and work sucks ant the weather too and i have this really evil world-weariness, that you might think is funny but it isn’t ... you see, i’m joking about it, it seems to be getting better ;D
so be nice to me and stop sitting in my head with these disappointed looks on your faces asking me where the podcast is ... i might retreat in my shell ... wait there is no shell ... the snail is nude ... WAAAAH =D ...

anyway, when i saw the snails i imediately had this song in my head, i hope you have a great day

artist: david bowie
song: rebel, rebel
album: bowie

you've got your mother in a whirl
she's not sure if you're a boy or a girl

hey babe, your hair's alright
hey babe, let's go out tonight
you like me, and i like it all
we like dancing and we look divine
you love bands when they're playing hard
you want more and you want it fast
they put you down, they say I'm wrong
you tacky thing, you put them on

rebel rebel, you've torn your dress
rebel rebel, your face is a mess
rebel rebel, how could they know?
hot tramp, i love you so!

don't ya?

rebel rebel, you've torn your dress
rebel rebel, your face is a mess
rebel rebel, how could they know?
hot tramp, i love you so!

don't ya?

you've torn your dress, your face is a mess
you can't get enough, but enough ain't the test
you've got your transmission and your live wire
you got your cue line and a handful of ludes
you wanna be there when they count up the dudes
and i love your dress
you're a juvenile success
because your face is a mess
so how could they know?
i said, how could they know?

so what you wanna know calamity's child,
where'd you wanna go?
what can I do for you? looks like you've been there too
'cause you've torn your dress
and your face is a mess
ooo, your face is a mess
ooo, ooo, so how could they know?
eh, eh, how could they know?

if you wanna see more of these beautiful creatures click here

2008-08-07T21:32:00.003+02:00

SWEDEN IS GAY!

questions, questions, questions ... the first one is, have you missed me? ok, that was a rethorical one ;D ... second have you seen mamma mia yet ... if not, do it immediately, the movie is great ... all i say is flipperdance ... =D ... you'll know what i am talking about ;D

and while we are speaking of sweden, lets talk about one of the reasons why i was abscent for a while. the excuse for the last few days is the europride in stockholm where the pink ninja squad proudly represented the kelkian army ... it was a bit different from last years trip to madrid ... first of all, the whole thing took place more indoor than in spain and you had to pay even for the entrance to the pride park ... which is very unusual in europe ... except the wild dutch girl who flew in from london YAY ... we all (italy, france and germany) stayed in a great b&b which is highly recommended if you ever plan to visit stockholm!!! we had a really great time, EXCELLENT food (flirting waitresses included - well we didn't HAD them, we were just treated very nicely ... this explanation doesn't make it better, right?) ... anyway, we also had a very breathtaking trip back to the airport ... first we had to run to the bus, and then we couldn't say a proper goodbye to the italians because they had to rush to the gate ... but my travel karma worked for all of us, and everyone made their plane ;D ... it seems the universe really likes me ... the main difference between sweden and spain is ... the girls are much blonder and much taller ... and i will not complain about that ;D

so i promise i'll put together a nice podcast about the trip as soon as i can decide if i should pick schlager or bad 90'ies europop as musical theme ... hey, there's a comment box!!! ... tell me what you want! ... and no, i will not explain, what schlager is, sometimes you have to take a risk ;D
well, yes, abba songs would be a nice idea ... but if you are looking for abba songs, take your cute little booties off your couch and watch mamma mia! for petes sake ...

and just because i am so damn proud of it ... see the nice little shirts i handmade this year (little dance of happyness) ;D

2008-07-11T23:10:00.002+02:00

FINALLY!!! after three attemps and a sacrifice to the universe here we have it

TALKS #37 - IT WAS SO GREAT

hello my dear possums,

it's finally done ... the kpp =D
and i do not listen to it again, i just leave you alone with it ... i hope everyone who's mentioned isn't mad with me after listening, and everyone who isn't mentioned isn't to mad with me ... and the sad thing about this podcast is that it reminded me how much i miss you all *sniffle* ... so here is what you get from making me all sentimental a bunch of lovesongs for some kelkians

2008-07-11T10:50:00.000+02:00

I FUCKED UP!!!

supreme!!!! ... i am sorry i disappoint you this much, but i will not be able to upload a podcast today ... i could say the evil migraine i had yesterday melted my brain somehow ... but would that make you forgive me? ... i mean at least i tried ... maybe it is because i didn’t do a podcast in a while, maybe it is because i am pressuring me to much ... yes i know, you, yes YOU are pressuring me too, but trust me, i’m pressuring me more ... and that’s probably the reason, why i can’t upload the crap i produced yesterday ... i wasn’t focussed, a was drifting of, there is a horribly long pause where i totaly lost track ... no i will not edit that out ... i am editophobic!!!! see ... i get pantomimic herpes just by thinking of it ...

*sigh ... but i found out a few things about this kpp project ... it is unpossible to do it in just one sitting ... and the other good thing i found out by recording it, i think first i should do something about the people i met ... if i start with all the stories that happened, i get lost we say, i get from the branch to the twig ... i get lost, carried away ... i mean you know how i tell stories ;D ... anyway, i’ll sit down and do another one, tonight, i promise to try my best ... don’t be mad at me ... please *bambieyes

sad song of today: sorry
artist: feist
album: the reminder

i'm sorry
two words i always think
after you've gone
when i realize i was acting all wrong

so selfish
two words that could describe
oh actions of mine
when patience is in short supply

we don't need to say goodbye
we don't need to fight and cry
oh we, we could hold each other tight tonight

we're so helpless
we're slaves to our impulses
we're afraid of our emotions
and no one knows where the shore is
we're divided by the ocean
and the only thing i know is
that the answer isn't for us
no the answer isn't for us

i'm sorry
two words i always think
oh after you've gone
when i realize i was acting all wrong

we don't need to say goodbye
we don't need to fight and cry
we, we could hold each other tight tonight
tonight
tonight
tonight
tonight...

2008-07-08T16:34:00.000+02:00

OOOOOOOOOOOOH KAY!

i’m getting prepared ... podcast will be recorded this week ... i think on thursday ... thursday was always a good day for podcasting ... so i will sum up the trip and i will dedicate this podcast to a very special pesterette ... gwendolyne from baton rouge louisiana ... =D

oh and finding that song of the day today, ireminded me on vanilla ice ... not the cool stuff ... the „rapper“ from 1990 ... and that reminds me of the supposably silliest tattoed guy in tattoo history mr. ice cool ... and he’s german *sigh

ok, this was a short teaser on what you’ll get (hopefully) on friday ... *fallen on the face by bowing*

artist: queen & david bowie
song: under pressure
album: hot space (funny coincede hah?)

pressure pushing down on me
pressing down on you no man ask for
under pressure
that burns a building down
splits a family in two
puts people on streets

bah bah bah bah bah bah
bah bah bah bah bah bah

that's o-kay!
it's the terror of knowing
what this world is about
watching some good friends
screaming let me out!
pray tomorrow takes me higher
pressure on people
people on streets

do do do bah bah bah bah
o-kay
chippin' around
kick my brains round the floor
these are the days
it never rains but it pours
people on streets
people on streets

it's the terror of knowing
what this world is about
watching some good friends
screaming let me out!
pray tomorrow takes me higher higher higher
pressure on people
people on streets
turned away from it all
like a blind man
sat on a fence but it don't work
keep coming up with love
but it's so slashed and torn
why why why?
love love love love

insanity laughs under pressure we're cracking
can't we give ourselves one more chance?
why can't we give love that one more chance?
why can't we give love give love give love?
give love give love give love give love give love?
cause love's such an old fashioned word
and love dares you to care
for people on the edge of the night
and love dares you to change our way
of caring about ourselves
this is our last dance
this is our last dance
this is ourselves under pressure
under pressure pressure

2008-07-07T16:22:00.002+02:00

TWISTING THUMBS

today i had a bit time on my hands ... heehee, you’ll soon understand, why this is funny ;D
anyway, someone tries to pester me into doing another podcast ... well, i am thinking about it, but you know what ... to pester someone involves more than ONE twitter post ;D ... so drown me in requests and i might record it =D

until then i suffer from being back to work ... which i knew would be dreadfull but not as dreadful as it was. i cannot tell you about the wonderful things that happened during my absence, because i need the material for the podcast that i hopefully will record, if someone finally starts pestering me ... *sigh, anyway, so last week, was my first week back at work and it was horrible ... i had nothing to do ... literaly nothing!!! ... the sun was shining, the weather was excellent and i was trapped in my little fishtank office. now some of you might say why haven’t you posted something... or why haven’t you wrote the next breakthrough lesbian novel ... all i can answer to that is, you obviously never had an encounter with a real nothing to do ... this evil desease sucks every single bit of energy out of your bones ... i even hadn’t enough energy to be pissed ... well i was pissed a bit ... but most of all i was tired ... sooooooooooooooooo tired ... well finally on friday afternoon someone showed up and gave me something to do, so my weekend wasn’t all that horrible, because i was looking forward to today, to FINALLY work again ... no! there is no need to call a doctor, some of us like the things they do ... if there is something to do ...

well and today i was so excited about my job, that i finished it around noon ... yes, sometimes i am a little bit dumb ... but most of the time i’m brilliant ... wait until i’m back to working each day ;D

so this afternoon i had a bit time on my hands ... =D ... and i surfed the internet a bit, and i found an interesting site about finger yoga ... see, i told you it gets funny =D

so and because i highly recommend lissome fingers, i think you should visit the site too ... if you have a bit time on your hands ;D

nico's highly recommended finger yoga site

what? what’s the use of lissome fingers??? ... well until you haven’t sent me a notarized copy of your id to approve you're over 18 i would answer this with: to write a podcast request =D

and because i am in such a sentimental mood the song of the day is

artist: t.v. carpio
song: i want to hold your hand
album: across the universe soundtrack

oh yeah, i'll tell you something
i think you'll understand
when i'll say that something
i wanna hold your hand
i wanna hold your hand
i wanna hold your hand

oh please, say to me
you'll let me be your man
and please, say to me
you'll let me hold your hand
i'll let me hold your hand
i wanna hold your hand

and when i touch you i feel happy
inside
it's such a feeling that my love
i can't hide
i can't hide
i can't hide

yeah, you've got that something
i think you'll understand
when i'll say that something
i wanna hold your hand
i wanna hold your hand
i wanna hold your hand

and when i touch you i feel happy
inside
it's such a feeling that my love
i can't hide
i can't hide
i can't hide

yeah, you've got that something
i think you'll understand
when i'll feel that something
i wanna hold your hand
i wanna hold your hand
i wanna hold your hand
i wanna hold your hand

2008-06-10T17:30:00.002+02:00

YEE HAW!!

i found the perfect song for my absence ... i'll miss everyone who can't participate and i am freaking out for excitement to meet everyone i'll meet ... especially because i got a text from our little venezuelan friend who was asked by the checkin person if she belongs to the band ... i couldn't resist, i had to remind her that "the band" could have been a german folk band too ... ;D ... but i guess i'll share my room with a rockstar lookalike ... WILD

and speaking of wild ... here's the wild wild song

see you ... sooner or later

EXCITED!!!!

2008-06-05T12:35:00.001+02:00

EXERCISE WENT WRONG

ok, a short sum up, i will sleep naked between ale, her girlfriend and edilma with a bucket of water next to our bed avoid fartlighting and seymour thinks she loves me ... wow, i should have gotten these pants WAY earlier ;D

but enough about the silly talk of yesterday, start the silly talk of today ... i have a braincat (and i invented a new word with t =D ) ... ok, you still are familiar with the musclecat right? to be sure, i repeat it ... the musclecat is the word to word translation of the german word for sore muscles ... we like cats because a hangover is called tomcat over here, and because the whole aching goes on in the brain and i prefer the female version i now have a braincat ... and why? because it is 6 days to albuqueerque pride and i decided to do another drinking exercise ... well i found out that beer leads to a lot of walking ... i knew that already, but i thought it might have changed ... less going you get by using cocktails but them lead to a bigger braincat ... maybe this is another scientific post =D ... and with this handicap i have to do my very important and very serious work ... *sigh

hey, i saw that funny video on the vampires blog today, so maybe i declare today as the day of office movies ... have fun with the crazy people i work with ... and no, we do NOT do this EVERY day

oh, and just if you ask ... i am the one with the red guitar ;D

NOT SO LOUD!!!!

have a great day possums ;D

2008-06-04T13:39:00.000+02:00

WHAT?!?!!

ok ... so it’s 7 days until albuqueerque pride and i’m getting a bit nervous ... and not just because of meeting all these crazy bitches ... what also makes me nervous is this tag i found in my new pyjama pants ... you know, i am getting ready to pack, so after i found out that edilma and minn and everyone else got new bikinis i also went shopping ... i got me some nice new boardershorts ... which is very spiffy because 1, they cover the celulite and 2, there’s a cool bottleopener on them, which is always usefull, and because i don’t want to offend the poor girl i’m sharing my room with, i bought some new pyjama pants (well usually i sleep like marilyn monroe, except the perfume, but that would be rude) and now that tag!!!... no it is not that it’s made in china and i vote for a free tibet and this is an explosive combination ... WUAHHH it’s getting even more dangerous!!! ... so have you ever found a tag in your pants that said you should not set them on fire??? i mean WHAT??? ... how am i supposed to do that ... i mean we all know i’m a hottie, but ... ;D ... (yes i am following the advice YOU see?) ... so after we clarified that, what is that? ... keep away from fire? am i not allowed to smoke in that pants? am i not allowed to have a romantic encounter in them if candles are involved?? ... and what if the hotel is burning??? do i have to flee my room with a naked butt?? i am scared ... and excited ... and silly, which explains this post ;D

so here we go with the song of the day, time for a bit power guitar action

artist: the gossip
song: fire with fire
album: standing in the way of control

it ain't the end of the world girl
you'll find your place in the world girl
all you gotta do is stand up and fight fire with fire

big or small it makes no difference
we're gonna tell them what shape you'll be
all you gotta do is stand up and fight fire with fire

you gotta run on
they're gonna find you
you turn around, we're right behind you
can't you see that the bigger we are the harder the fall

run on
they're gonna find you
you turn around, we're right behind you
can't you see that the bigger we are the harder the fall

now, it ain't the end of the world girl
you'll find your place in the world girl
all you gotta do is stand up and fight fire with fire

in the end no one's innocent
big or small it makes no difference
get up, stand out, and hold your head up higher, higher

you gotta run on
they're gonna find you
you turn around, we're right behind you
can't you see that the bigger we are the harder the fall

run on
they're gonna find you
you turn around, we're right behind you
can't you see that the bigger we are the harder the fall

2008-06-03T13:05:00.003+02:00

YOU GOT MILK?

lucky you ... we over here are in trouble ... our cow farmers, who indeed earn ridiculous prices for their milk (stop laughing, i mean of their cows, silly!!!), are on strike ... well, of course it is not like in a factory, because you cannot turn off a cow as simple as a buttonmachine ... so they still have to work and milk the cows, but they refuse to sell it, because they do not earn enough money. which i can understand, but on the other hand we already produce to much milk over here, so if they get more money, they’ll probably produce even more, which will be a total waste, because we drown in milkpowder. i mean i bet we could feed all the starving children with our milkoverload, why aren’t we doing that??? but that is still better than what they are doing now ... they flush the milk down the drain ... *sigh ... it is imoral!!! ... we are in deep liquidtroubles over here ... i mean if you americans think you have insane prices for gas open your ears ... a gallon is roundabout 4 liters right?... so gas is over the thumb 8 dollars the gallon over here (thanks to amy for the correction) ... i was never luckier to ride a bike, believe me ... plus it makes a nice butt, i’ve been told, i cannot see the effect yet, but i believe in it, maybe that helps. anyway, the universe moves in funny ways, and so i fell over a funny product today, that puts the whole milkshortage in a new light (MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHA - you’ll understand that laughter soon, promissed) look here, and have a closer look on the elvis conspiracy! i love it!

so speaking of farmers, here’s your catchy tune of the day ... i confess i was tempted to post old mcdonald ... but i didn’t =D

artist: snow
song: informer (but i swear they sing farmer!!)
album: 12 inches of snow

[CHORUS:]
Informer
You know say daddy me snow me-a (gonna) blame
A licky boom-boom down
'Tective man he say, say Daddy Me Snow me stab someone down the lane
A licky boom-boom down

Police-a them-a they come and-a they blow down me door
One him come crawl through through my window
So they put me in the back the car at the station
From that point on I reach my destination
Well the destination reached in down-a East detention
Where they whip down me pants look up me bottom

[CHORUS]

Bigger they are they think they have more power
There on the phone me say that on hour
Me for want to use it once and-a me call me lover
Lover who me callin'-a the one Tammy
And me love her in my heart down to my belly-a
Yes say Daddy Me Snow me I feel cool and deadly
Yes the one MC Shan and the one Daddy Snow
Together we-a love 'em(?) as a tornado

[CHORUS]

Listen to me ya better listen for me now
Listen to me ya better listen for me now
When-a me rock-a the microphone, me rock on steady-a
Yes-a Daddy Me Snow me are the article don
But the in an a-out (?) a dance an they say, "Where ya come from?"
People them say I come from Jamaica
But me born and raised (in the ghetto) I want ya to know-a
Pure black people man thats all I man know
Yeah me shoes are-a tear up an-a my toes used to show-a
Where me-a born in-a the one Toronto

[CHORUS]

Come with a nice young lady
Intelligent, yes she gentle and irie
Everywhere me go me never lef' her at all-ie
Yes-a Daddy Snow me are the roam dance man-a
Roam between-a dancin' in-a in-a nation-a
You never know say Daddy Me Snow me are the boom shakata
Me never lay-a down flat in-a one cardboard box-a
Yes-a Daddy Me Snow me-a go reachin' out da top

[CHORUS]

Why would he? [repeat]

[MC Shan:]

Me sittin round cool with my jiggy jiggy girl
Police knock my door, lick up my pal
Rough me up and I cant do a thing
Pick up my line when my telephone ring
Take me to the station, black up my hands
Trail me down 'cause I'm hangin with the Snowman
What an I gonna do, I'm backed and I'm trapped
Smack me in my face, took all of my gap
They have no clues and they wanna get warmer
But Shan won't turn informer

[CHORUS]

2008-05-30T16:57:00.000+02:00

IT MUST BE THE HEAT!!!

or maybe i go crazy now, i don’t know, but even though i should be ashamed of it, i have a confession to make ... *harrumph ... ahm, i am sorry, but i like wilson gonzalez’ song.

to be aware of which trouble i am here, you have to know the background. *pfuh ... well, in 1985 an actor called uwe ochsenknecht had a leading role in doris dörries movie „men“ it was a big success for her, and a HUGE success for him. he’s one of germanys most popular actors now ... anyway, the success wasn’t good for him, you know how people are... they think they are special when they get popular and all of a sudden they get kids and they have to stand out of the crowd there too ... so the poor little critter was named wilson gonzalez ... after wilson pickett and speedy gonzalez *sigh ... his father started a second career as a singer ... well he had one nice song the rest was crap ... and then the little boys showed up in a childrens movie about a soccer team, which was VERY successful ... you know what i mean, we are talking about kids here ... KIDS!!! ... after i think 5 of these soccer movies, the boys probably thought they are to old for that kind of stuff, so they decided to become popstars ... well the younger one started first with a very weird attempt to become the german justin timberlake ... have you evver blown up a ballon an then instead of closing it just let it go ... that ‚s the perferct description of what i feel about his music ... but a few days ago i heard wilsons’ song for the first time and as hard as it is to confess it ... damn i like it ... i don’t know what it is, the dilletantism of early eighties punk? the bad accent? the unbelievably silly lyrics? i don’t know ... i just like it ... PLUS the boy is born in 1990!!! .... he wasn’t there in the eighties .... maybe that’s it ... he reinvented the eighties ... all these 80ies electropunk revivals are great i like how people put something new into the whole thing but he just stepped back to the flat, silly diletantism that made those times this fuckin great =D
i like it =D

i like it, i like it, i like it .... and i don’t care that he’s a baby

and what makes the whole thing even funnier is the fact that the only zombies i know are 2. 1 the undead and 2 the cocktail that makes you feel undead the morning after ... and no 18 year old will get #2 in america right? ... ;D

have a great weekend

and i hope you can forgive me *bambieyes

2008-05-29T14:09:00.002+02:00

OGGI TUTTI VA PIANO

i think ... if i made a mistake (i bet i did) please correct me ... what i was trying to say is, that everything is a bit slow today ... everything? well, almost, in a tiny spot in the back of my brain some stubborn synapses work like crazy to produce a funny little post for you ... so you better appreciate it ;D

anyway, you might ask yourself, why is she posting this funny boots today ... well maybe it is because she saw sex and the city (the movie) yesterday and now she is obsessed with shoes ... hmmmm, good point but NO ... first of all i already am kind of shoe obsessed, i don’t need a movie for that ... by the way, watch the thing it is soooooooooooo great, romantic and funny and just great ... my personal vote two thumbs up ... hmmm, i wrote that somewhere else today ;D ... but back to the boots ... the boots are ... ta daaaah ... because i feel a bit italian today ... hey you could have got an idea of that from the title, don’t you ... don’t look at me that way and what do you mean „what have rubberboots to do with italy“ ... well forget about the rubber for a second, i just liked the design, wait i still like it, so i just like the design ... so boot - italy ....

tapping foot

hello? BOOT --> ITALY??

thank you, yes, italy is shaped like a boot ... NAH! don’t look at me that way, i know it is a highheel, but like i said ... i like the design ... and it is my blog and i can post whatever i like *crossing arms, pouting

... and today that will be this wonderfull video, where dephazz covered the themesong of one of my most favourite childhood tv shows ... viva la felicita from the signor rossi cartoon .. i LOVED the show ... especially the little dachshound called gaston =D

=D

thanks for your patience ... this post is dedicated to ale, who is living in the boot ... no silly, not the rubberboot ... i saw that! ... don’t make me pinch you ;D

have a great day sweeties, i hope it will be a lucky one!

2008-05-28T14:17:00.001+02:00

SAY AAAAAAAAAH

appologies my little possums, appologies!
i really really tried to post more often ... especially now after i feel mentally less deranged ;D ... well anyway, the past two days where mentionable because of the absence of a certain person ... ok, name it me ... which is unexcuseable, especially because everyone was so very kind to remember my birthday ... thank you thank you thank you ... but i have a reason for my absence ... first of all, we have horrible weather so my migrane was killing me ... but the main reason was, i wasn’t at my desk, because i was trained in first aid ... and of course i wear plain white today =D ... yes, white pant’s and t-shirt ... even the print on skull is white ... i love it =D ... you see, this ridiculous birthday changed nothing, i am silly as always ... and able to have fun with the weirdest things ... and those of you who will be at the kelka pride events can be sure that i’ll be the first to show up if you need a mouth to mouth ... everything will gonna be alright ;D

and because i couldn’t find a song with aaaaaaaaah here’s one that’s called oooooh =D

artist: scissor sisters
song: oooh
album: ta-dah

some people say such awful things
i don't understand why they're so hateful
we don't need those diamond rings
even though they look tasteful
chichi parties
so important
sink a fortune
high-class apartment
one or two ooh-oohs
make you feel so good
it's not a threat to nobody
in fact the people should

oooh
don't you give me them blues
i got magic in my dancing shoes
let me hear you say ooooh

when you talk sweet things in my ear
i get so hot inside I'm burning my clothes
measure distances with tears
the tracks'll run for miles when i feel those
mixed emotions
in your heart
guilty feelings
you fall apart
one or two ooooh's
nothing left to lose
i'm not a threat to nobody
don't try and give me them blues

oooh
don't you give me them blues
i got magic in my dancing shoes
let me hear you say ooooh

say honey baby don't you know
ain't got any money left to blow
can't buy you no snow cone
even when it's hot outside

wanna make love show you what i can do
pocket that rug and ride the groove
just lemme go dance and give me no blues tonight

oooh
don't you give me them blues
i got magic in my dancing shoes
let me hear you say ooooh

2008-05-23T15:03:00.001+02:00

MORE SCIENTIFICS

when you sneeze, are your eyes open or closed? if you say they are open you are a: a miracle or b: a bloody liar ... because it is UNPOSSIBLE to sneeze with open eyes, otherwise your eyeballs will shoot out because of all the pressure ... well that makes funny pictures pop up in my head about eyeballs on a string popping out of the heads of all the ones who said they are a miracle =D

anyway, the other thing that’s unpossible to do ist to wiggle your toes without smiling ... so i vote for a wigglebreak. it will be good for you, trust me ;D

get of your shoes, free your cute little feet from socks, sit back, relax, look at your little footsies and wiggle your toes

see, you’re smiling ... i’ve told you =D

thanks for your assistance and enjoy the rest of your day

oh, yes, you can put the stuff back on now ;D

artist: kate nash
song: merry happy
album: made of bricks

watching me like you never watch no one
don't tell me that you didn't try and check out my bum
cause i know that you did
cause your friend told me that you liked it

gave me those pearls and I thought they were ugly
though you try to tell me that you never loved me
i know that you did
'cause you said it and you wrote it down

dancing at discos
eating cheese on toast
yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
but you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

dancing at discos
eating cheese on toast
yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
but you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

so i learnt from you
do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do
so i learnt form you
do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do

i can be alone, yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone, yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone
i can watch a sunset on my own

i can be alone, yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone, yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone
i can watch a sunset on my own

sitting in restaurants
thought we were so grown up
but i know now that we were not the people
that we turned out to be

chatting on the phone
can't take back those hours
but i won't regret
'cause you can grow flowers
from where dirt used to be

dancing at discos
eating cheese on toast
yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
but you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

dancing at discos
eating cheese on toast
yeah you make me merry make me very very happy
but you obviously, you didn't want to stick around

so i learnt from you
do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do
so i learnt from you
do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do

i can be alone, yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone, yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone
i can watch a sunset on my own
(do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do)

i can be alone, yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone, yeah
i can watch a sunset on my own
i can be alone
i can watch a sunset on my own
(do do do da do do do do do da do do do do do da do)

2008-05-20T17:11:00.002+02:00

PREPARING FOR THE DESERT

*sigh*

my brain is a sponge - my body is NOT ...

ok my little possums, lets get scientific ...
the average ammount of water in a humans body is about 67,85% ... if i am following the very complicated watson formula (you see i did research here) it seems the ammount of water in my nice little body is 36,873 liters (which is 9.74 american gallons) ... yes i have a bit time on my hand ... the percentage formula spits out the insanely ammount of 54,958 liters (14.52 gal) ... so whatever it might be inbetween these two messures, my body thinks that's enough ... which would have been midheavy unmentionable if i weren't in exercise mode for the desert trip ... and if two funny people weren't mentioning the necessity of drinking ... so i do as i'm told ... i am on 2 liters level (0.53 gal) and it doesn't work ... my body doesn't like water ... at least it doesn't like to have more in than absolutely necessary ... which is probably 9.74 gallons as far as i assume from all this "water-out-of-here" behaviour ...

i tried to find a song about a flow heater, but i couldn't ... so here's another one, that at least comes close ;D

artist: seeed
song: waterpumpee
album: music monks

(chorus)
waan back mi waterpumpee, mi cool and deadly fi go dance
with di ladies
dem a dance ya too funky- make man a move inna di dance
like junkie we..
waan back mi waterpumpee, mi cool and deadly fi go dance
with di ladies
dem a dance ya too funky-got shot a buz

(enuff)
ihr hört und hyperhifistereo
oder muffiges desaster auf´m tape fressenden blaaster
singen tun wir sowieso
vielleicht könnt ihrs erahnen zwischen brosis und bin
laden wir die homies ein, denn wir sind nicht gern allein
der eine braucht nur sein´ tv, wir brauchen die family
yo!
in diesen eisigen zeiten voll von durchgeknallten Leuten
ist es unser job die heißen hooks und zeilen zu verbreiten
du bist hart, du willst streiten kriegst´n halbsteifen beim fighten
geh doch in die u.s.a und feier da, geh bullen reiten
geh bloß uns nicht auf´n sack, weil du zu feige bist zu tanzen
zieh die teure jacke aus, du körperklaus- zeig was kannstn?
wir mooven gut in jedem look im freshen und verranztem
du mit deinem benni miles schockst die vorstadt pomeranzen yes we

(chorus)

(Ear)
see hip shake watch your shape babe dive in your lake
dream come awake and make this tune earthquake
do you tape it, naked sun bake it all i can take
put in my toaster hit that cake ride our ghost ya
rollercoaster ain´t no fake ma
top to coast we want them most
oh ladies may these tracks slip in your legs

(Eased)
no turn back dis ya dancehall-drug gonna hit like a killer (killer,killer)
get loose in your waist, put a smile on your face
set the dance on fire (fire, fire)
cause the flow of a girl and man – from creation
is ment to be a devine combination
to all of mi brethren inna land:
don´t waist time and give dem girl satisfaction

(chorus)

2008-05-19T11:30:00.002+02:00

CAN YOU REMEMBER WHEN KC SANG THE LOVEBOAT SONG?

after all these suffering podcasts where i was whining about my breakup i can now inform you that there is a new woman on my side =D
she's awfully cute, even though she's missing one eye - but that eyepatch is just making her even sexier ;D - she's a little bit overboard and serving the navy ...

which explains the song of the day, which is fighting hard with the memory of kc singing ;D

just a few days until albuqueerque pride YAY!!!

song: in the navy
artist: village people
album: the very best of village people

where can you find pleasure, search the world for treasure,
learn science, technology?
where can you begin to make your dreams all come true
on the land or on the sea?
where can you learn to fly, play in sports or skindive,
study oceanography?
sign up for the big band or sit in the grand stand
when your team and others meet.

in the navy, yes, you can sail the seven seas.
in the navy, yes, you can put your mind at ease.
in the navy, come on now people, make a stand.
in the navy, can't you see we need a hand.
in the navy, come on, protect the motherland.
in the navy, come on and join your fellow, man.
in the navy, come on, people, and make a stand.
in the navy, in the navy.

they want you! they want you! they want you as a new recruit!

if you like adventure don't you wait to enter
the recruiting office fast.
don't you hesitate, there is no need to wait;
they're signing up new seamen fast.
maybe you are too young to join up today
but don't you worry 'bout the thing
for i'm sure there will be always the good navy
protecting the land and sea.

in the navy...

they want you! they want you! they want you as a new recruit!
they want you! they want you! they want you as a new recruit!
..but..but..but I'm afraid of water!
..hey..hey..look, men...
i get seasick even watching it on the tv!
they want you! - oh my goodness!
they want you! - what am i gonna do in a submarine?
they want you! they want you!
in the navy.

in the navy... (fade out)

2008-05-17T00:05:00.002+02:00

DA DEE DEE DEEEEEEEE

you can't kiss a girl wearing a sombrero when you are wearing one too.

thanks to the vampire
*fallen on the face by bowing

2008-04-19T21:37:00.002+02:00

TALKS #36 - ESPECIALLY FOR SEYMOR

vacation is over, the vampire is on her flight back and we already started missing her, but the long missing co-host of this crazy little music compilations made an appearance during the days, the vampirate was still here. and the ones who may ask what this cutiful picture is about shall know that it is not only because i have to go back to work on monday, where i will be forced to write sweet copies for the babysite ... *sigh, things will be serious again ... and that's why our little show is called serious, baby

2008-04-10T21:38:00.002+02:00

VACATION REPORT #4

hello my little possums ... today we were having another big adventure. it was as you might get by the picture, the day of the elk ... in other words, we were at ikea ... what actually is a big adventure if you don't own a car. breathe my little american friends, it is possible to live without a car ;D ... so we had a lot of fun at the public transport system. we went aaaaaaaaaaaaaall the way to the outskirts, what is where ikea is, and we ... as always ... ended up with more in the cart, than we supposed to have in it =D
the vampirate is now the proud owner of a fantabulous cheese shredder and she found me a great new lapdesk, from which i am writing to you right now ... so you see, it works perfectly. more elks were found in the grocery store, where the kindereggs are packed in a little elk box and yes of course we bought one for our dear elka, which will be send out to abq tomorrow. also we got us the tickets for the wonderful shortfilmnight of the enchanted film festival ... yes, that enchanted that means gay ... the short film night is called the elle world which reminds me on stubbing your little noses onto this site the lol-word enjoy, and tune in tomorrow when there will be more adventures from the pussycountry also known as germany.

and the song of the day is of course swedish

artist: mando diao
song: good morning, herr horst
album: ode to ochrasy

I've been walking down the street
With a Tambourine on my feet
I'm holding every beat steady and low
Well if it would've been me
I would have turned in to the Factory
And chase that little girl black and blue

Now I'm bleeding
And I'm freezing
And I'm crying once again
For monday glass
For monday glass

So if you see me on the street
Don't ask me about my passing days
Just slip another coin
And walk away

LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa

I once had a love of mine
With a different heart
In another time
I blew that off with pills and alcohol

I once had a child of mine
With a different heart
In another time
I blew that off with booze and lack of soul

Now I'm bleeding
And 'Im freezing
And I'm crying once again
For monday glass
For monday glass

So if you see me on the street
Don't ask me about my passing days
Just slip another coin
And walk away

Yeah slip another coin
And walk away

LaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLaLa

2008-04-09T21:00:00.002+02:00

VACATION REPORT #3

brought to you by a very remorseful vampirate

Well, today was spent under house arrest. My protest didn't go over very well with the local authorities. Park furniture still imprisoned and me stuck inside on a rainy Wednesday....
I thought well, perhaps it won't be so bad, maybe I can make some new friends....so I set out to explore my surroundings and there, in the fridge, I found 3 typical German fellas to pal around with for the day. Heinz, Karl, and Horst.
At first I thought it was going to be great! But as the day wore on, and it got closer to dinner time, I realized these were the wurst friends I could have made.
(sigh)
It was fun while it lasted though. The stories, the bar tricks, the sharing of recipes....
But as the sky grew darker, and my stomach grew fuller... I bid auf wiedersehen
to my friends.
We shall see what tomorrow brings. What new adventures await me. Perhaps I will escape outside and roam free.
Watch out Frankfurt!

well it took us a while, to figure out the song of the day, but we think this one will fit ;D

artist: frank'n'furter
song: sweet transvestite
album: the rocky horror picture show

How d'you do, I see you've met my faithful handyman
He's just a little brought down because when you knocked
He thought you were the candyman.
Don't get strung out by the way that I look,
Don't judge a book by its cover
I'm not much of a man by the light of day,
But by night I'm one hell of a lover

I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.

So let me show you around, maybe play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy
Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

I'm glad we caught you at home, could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry.
We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car
We don't want to be any worry.

So you got caught with a flat, well, how about that?
Well babies, don't you panic.
By the light of the night when it all seems alright
I'll get you a satanic mechanic.

I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.

So why don't you stay for the night? Or maybe a bite?
I could show you my favourite obsession.
I've been making a man with blond hair and a tan
And he's good for relieving my tension

I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.

So come up to the lab. And see what's on the slab.
I see you shiver with antici... pation!
But maybe the rain isn't really to blame
So I'll remove the cause, but not the symptom.

2008-04-08T21:31:00.003+02:00

VACATION REPORT #2

what we saw today: an exclusive report brought to you by the vampirate
today we came across a shocking spectacle in a Frankfurt park. I was stunned to discover in this day and age such a thing still exists.
Oh sure, tourists come from all over the world to visit the historical momuments that serve as reminders of Germany's darker days, but this, this was a surprise.
Walking through a patoral park filled with happily frolicing dogs, parenting geese, bounding bunnies and the great stroller brigade...well...I just don't know how to tell you about this. The nightmares I will endure from this outing, the psychological scarring...
Darlings, I am talking about Park Auschwitz. Yes, you heard me. Innocent park furniture imprissoned, punished for some unknown crime. To be confined behind high metal fencing. Keeping their chilled seats from the potentially warming German behinds that could break up their lifeless day
The wind blowing through their unprotected legs. If you listened closely to that wind just right, you could hear the faint weeping wood.
I propose a campaign! Yes! To free the park furniture! To release it from its chain link shackles that bind it. To punish NOT the furniture, but the oppressors of said furniture! YES! It starts today, it starts now my friends (cue sweeping, patriotic/revolutionary music) we will stand with our brother and sister park furniture, we will lash ourselves to their fencing, sing our songs of protests, and we will not leave until all of the park furniture is FREE! (music swells)
NEVER AGAIN! NEVER AGAIN!

(tune in tomorrow when the daily blog will be brought to you from a German jail)

until then the song of the day is OF COURSE

artist: queen
song: i want to break free

I want to break free
I want to break free
I want to break free from your lies
You're so self satisfied I don't need you
I've got to break free
God knows, God knows I want to break free.

I've fallen in love
I've fallen in love for the first time

And this time I know it's for real
I've fallen in love, yeah
God knows, God knows I've fallen in love.

It's strange but it's true
I can't get over the way you love me like you do
But I have to be sure
When I walk out that door
Oh how I want to be free, baby
Oh how I want to be free,
Oh how I want to break free.

But life still goes on
I can't get used to, living without, living without,
Living without you by my side
I don't want to live alone, hey
God knows, got to make it on my own
So baby can't you see
I've got to break free.

I've got to break free
I want to break free, yeah
I want, I want, I want, I want to break free.

2008-04-08T00:20:00.002+02:00

VACATION REPORT #1

what we saw today:

8 spinning meats and a tOni YAY! she's still alive

we also found a zombie rubberducky, found out mcdonalds is sold out of shrimp burgers and that the prince song is right, right, right

so the song of the day is obviously:

song: sometimes it snows in april
artist: prince
album: parade

Tracy died soon after a long fought civil war,
just after I'd wiped away his last tear
I guess he's better off than he was before,
A whole lot better off than the fools he left here
I used 2 cry 4 Tracy because he was my only friend
Those kind of cars don't pass u every day
I used 2 cry 4 Tracy because I wanted to see him again,
But sometimes sometimes life ain't always the way...

Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes I feel so bad, so bad
Sometimes I wish life was never ending,
and all good things, they say, never last

Springtime was always my favorite time of year,
A time 4 lovers holding hands in the rain
Now springtime only reminds me of Tracy's tears
Always cry 4 love, never cry 4 pain
He used 2 say so strong unafraid to die
Unafraid of the death that left me hypnotized
No, staring at his picture I realized
No one could cry the way my Tracy cried

Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes I feel so bad
Sometimes, sometimes I wish that life was never ending,
And all good things, they say, never last

I often dream of heaven and I know that Tracy's there
I know that he has found another friend
Maybe he's found the answer 2 all the April snow
Maybe one day I'll see my Tracy again

Sometimes it snows in April
Sometimes I feel so bad, so bad
Sometimes I wish that life was never ending,
But all good things, they say, never last

All good things that say, never last
And love, it isn't love until it's past

2008-02-06T16:42:00.000+01:00

HOLY CHEESES!!!

another funny coincedence that is worth blogging about ... probably it will change your life ... at least your eating habits ... maybe ... whatever. i am sick again, that might explain a lot ... fever, you know, people write the funniest shit when they are having fever ... ok, i take these antibiotics, HAH!!! they are yellow too!!! COINCIDENCES OVER COINCIDENCES ... yes, yes, yes ... you are right, i'll explain

sooooo, i was talking to a dear american friend yesterday, no names, the vampire is worried you'll make fun out of her, but this is dead serious, i swear ;D

so, we were talking about me being sick, and if i take good enough care of myself, and what i had for dinner ... and you know me, normaly i think cooking is zen but i am sick so i made myself a simple cheesesandwich ... and then the question came up ... what kind of cheese? ... and then i found out that different pronounciation, combined with a sick mind can lead to a new religion. because i had a simple gouda ... and in germany we pronounce it slightly netherlands so the ou sounds like the ow in cow ... what is interesting too, because we are talking about cheese here ... i mean, cheese – milk – cow ... you see, what i mean??? EVERYTHING fits all of a sudden ... i tell you this is a SIGN!!!

anyway, so i found out, that americans pronounce that ou like oo like in goose (NO milk at all) and that sounds like buddha =D ... what was the point where my pills where kicking in, we inventet goudism ... and i really do not have to stub your noses into what cheeses sounds like right?

but that wasn't the weirdest of all things ... because at the morning of that day i saw a documentary of a tattoo parlor in miami where a woman got a tattoo of a grilled cheese sandwich she made years ago and that shows the face of the virgin mary ... ??? ... what shall all this mean? is it a sign??? or just a sign that me is weirder than we all thought i am =D ... whatever it means, and even if goudism has no potential to become a world religion ... if you are feeling the need to make yourself a cheese sandwich now, take a picture, send it and lets see if we can see a face in there too ... especially because i think this mother mary looks more like marlene dietrich in blue angel ... but it's just me, and i am sick

CHEESE =D

2008-01-15T17:39:00.000+01:00

SWEET SUEDES

you have to love them ... and i’ll take that as a goal for the europride in stockholm .... pink ninja squad-yay-bikini season in stockholm – drrrrr =D ... sorry for the interruption, but you see, nothing has changed since last year ...

what i was trying to talk about was a website i fell over today, and i simply love the idea ... sending your not sexy underwear to björn borg (yes the tennis player, didn’t you know he produces panties these days?? – what else did you miss? carla bruni marrying the french president, who was divorced 85 days before he married her, plus gave her the SAME engagement ring that he gave to his exwife??? how could you ... well keep him in mind for this underwear delivering service) so where was i?? aaaaah yes, so you search your drawers for ugly panties, send them to björn borg and they will send them to the peace endangerer of your choice ... isn’t that sweet?

so, go there bjornborg underwear

oh and guess ONCE whos on top of the list ...

oh, oh and there’s a funny youtube video too

todays song: pinch me
artist: barenaked ladies
album: maroon

it's the perfect time of year
somewhere far away from here
i feel fine enough, i guess
considering everything's a mess.
there's a restaurant down the street
where hungry people like to eat
i could walk, but i'll just drive
it's colder than it looks outside.

it's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone..,

...then ya
try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
try to see the world beyond your front door.
take your time cos the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
realise that with a guy my size it might take a while, just to
try to figure out what all this is for.

it's the perfect time of day
to throw all your cares away
put the sprinkler on the lawn
and run through with my gym shorts on.
take a drink right from the hose
and change into some drier clothes
climb the stairs up to my room
sleep away the afternoon.

it's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
try to see the world beyond your front door.

take your time cos the way i rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
realise that with a guy my size it might take a while, just to
try to figure out what all this is for.
pinch Me
pinch Me
cos i'm still asleep.
please god
tell me
that i'm still asleep

on an evening such as this
it's hard to tell if i exist
if i packed a car and leave this town
who'll notice that i'm not around?
i could hide out under there
i just made you say 'underwear'
i could leave but i'll just stay
all my stuff's here anyway.
it's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya
try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya
try to see the world beyond your front door.

take your time cos the way i rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
realise that with a guy my size it might take a while, just to
try to figure out what all this is for.
try to figure out what all this is for.
try to see the world beyond your front door.
try to figure out what all this is for.

2008-01-10T11:29:00.000+01:00

VICTOR/VICTORIA

you know, or you maybe don’t, but now you will because i’ll tell you ... i believe in coincidences. others believe in destiny, some call things destiny i would call coincidence, but whatever ... i truly believe the whole life is hold together by brontillions of coincidences ... and that’s what makes it interrrrrrrrrrrresting ... happy new year by the way ;D
so the actual coincedence i would like to talk about was exposing an unbelievable thing, it will have an earthshattering effect on the papparrazzi scene and – and this is most frightening – makes me like victoria beckham.
hey, hey, hey ... would you please breathe again? ... i’ll explain.

so this is what happened. i was informed, that francis bean cobain is going to be the new chanel face ... and because i don’t know how she looks i searched for her pictures. i ended up on a celebreties godparents site, that said miss cobains godmother is drew barrymore. the whole chain of celebrity godparents ended with a picture of victoria beckham ... also know as posh spice ... or as mr. blackwell calls her, the skinny, mini monstrosity. anyway, i saw that picture of her and all of a sudden my brain starts to rattle and bleep ... yes i switched from digigital to mechanical over the weekend, it’s a bit slower but the soundeffects are priceless ;D ... can you still follow me? soooooooooo, this pic of missis beckham reminded me on something ... and bang, it hit me ... enlightenment ... she looks like hedwig. i mean i haven’t found the right picture because the internet is full of funny coincidences but you never find the pic you search for, so i have to deal with this second best thing, but have a bit sympathy and you’ll see it ... i mean it jumps right into your face ... i mean look at it, it’s almost identical ... that means ... are you sitting? breathe in ... not only is victoria beckham a man ... s/he is also a DRAGQUEEN ... and that my little possums means: i like her =D

well isn’t it fun to start the new year with a bang?

and another funny coincidence, the cinematographer of the movie victor/victoria. his name is ... tadaaah ... dick bush ... do i have to say anything else??? IT’S A CONSPIRACY OF THE QUEER!!!

have a wonderful day

song of the day: don’t let me drag you down
artist: sarah bettens
album: scream

sometimes it takes some falling down
to get back on your feet
i often think the things i want
the things i really need
i noticed yesterday that lately I
haven't noticed much
colours change and people change
and i am busy handling the remote

when you see this i don't let me drag you down
when you feel this way don't let me drag you down
i need you to turn me upside down

in every room, in every house
someone’s always waiting to be heard
sitting on my big behind
i am hardly rescuing the world

when you see this i don't let me drag you down
when you feel this way don't let me drag you down
i need you to turn me upside down

don't let me hide
behind the question why

when you see this i don't let me drag you down
when you feel this way don't let me drag you down
i need you to turn me upside down

2007-12-09T17:38:00.000+01:00

you know what??? this is post #200

and

TALKS #36 - INSIGHTS INTO A WEIRD MIND

as i (will) mention on the podcast, there are a lot of things going on here. as you can see i got a new tattoo and everything is (finally) going on well. the job paced down a bit, we'll see what will happen next ... insanity is always able to produce some new shades ;D

as i am also mention(ed) i am working myself through the older l word seasons, to prepare for the upcoming new season, thanks to edilma i know where to watch it a bit earlier ;D, actually i am in the middle of season 2 and just noticing that helena was - contrairy to everyone else - looks older. besides she is a total bitch =D

but anyway, there is a lot of stuff going on over here, and you are very welcome to join the rollercoaster, i hope you'll have a little bit fun with the little podcast that describes my life so well by being simply called madness

artists in order of appearance

madness - madness

crazy - shawn colvin

nathalie - cora frost

change - kt tunstall

sing - annie lennox

wonderlust king - gogol bordello

gay bar - the bosshoss

ich glaub ne dame werd ich nie - barbara schöneberger

tick tick boom - the hives

2007-11-07T20:40:00.000+01:00

THE BIG SQUIRREL-WAR OF 2007

this morning on my way to work i passed the battlefield of the biggest squirrel fight of the history. it was obvious that during the night brontillions of squirrels fought their little tails off ... or the larches throw their leafs off ... or whatever that tree is called ... but honestly i vote for the squirrelfight ... more action ;D

artist: edwin starr
song: war

war, huh, yeah
what is it good for
absolutely nothing
uh-huh
war, huh, yeah
what is it good for
absolutely nothing
say it again, y'all

war, huh, good God
what is it good for
absolutely nothing
listen to me

ohhh, war, i despise
because it means destruction
of innocent lives

war means tears
to thousands of mothers eyes
when their sons go to fight
and lose their lives

i said, war, huh
good god, y'all
what is it good for
absolutely nothing
say it again

war, whoa, lord
what is it good for
absolutely nothing
listen to me

war, it ain't nothing
but a heartbreaker
war, friend only to the undertaker
ooooh, war
it's an enemy to all mankind
the point of war blows my mind
war has caused unrest
within the younger generation
induction then destruction
who wants to die
aaaaah, war-huh
good god y'all
what is it good for
absolutely nothing
say it, say it, say it
war, huh
what is it good for
absolutely nothing
listen to me

war, huh, yeah
what is it good for
absolutely nothing
uh-huh
war, huh, yeah
what is it good for
absolutely nothing
say it again y'all
war, huh, good God
what is it good for
absolutely nothing
listen to me

war, it ain't nothing but a heartbreaker
war, it's got one friend
that's the undertaker
ooooh, war, has shattered
many a young mans dreams
made him disabled, bitter and mean
life is much to short and precious
to spend fighting wars these days
war can't give life
it can only take it away

ooooh, war, huh
good god y'all
what is it good for
absolutely nothing
say it again

war, whoa, lord
what is it good for
absolutely nothing
listen to me

war, it ain't nothing but a heartbreaker
war, friend only to the undertaker
peace, love and understanding
tell me, is there no place for them today
they say we must fight to keep our freedom
but lord knows there's got to be a better way

ooooooh, war, huh
good god y'all
what is it good for
you tell me
say it, say it, say it, say it

war, huh
good god y'all
what is it good for
stand up and shout it
nothing

2007-10-09T22:07:00.000+02:00

HOLY MOLY

hello my little possums, before i bore you with random shit from my life one simple and kind question for you: have you watched exes and ohs? if you can answer this with yes, next one: have you posted a nice and supportive comment on the logo homepage? if you can answer that with yes two ... BIG GAY HUG and a shiny silver star for you!!!! YAY - if you answeredthe first question with no, forget the second one and take this as an alternative: WHAT???? why not??? and when will you watch it? =D

please, be kind, watch it, and leave a comment at their page, because i need more than 6 episodes of this show and i will only get it if enough people say it is great and that they will watch another season of it, so plehehehehease *bambieyes

ok and now back to this:

as you can see, this is a bathroomfloor ... MY bathroomfloor, and as you can see, there is a hole in it. and a towel. and this is what happened. last wednesday - damn i haven't blogged for a while, i am sorry - we had a holiday, it was reunion day and i was looking forward to sleep in. a wish that didn't fulfill because at 8 am someone was ringing on my doorbell. my neighbour asked me if my washing machine was running ... NO, i was to tired for jokes, silly tsk ... i mean at 8 am on a holiday ... it turned out, that water was running down their bathroomwall and they thought my bathroom must be under water. but no. dry as albuqueerque =D .. anyway, an hour later the plumber showed up, and he also wasn't able to find water in my bathroom. at least we found out the flushing works great! =D anyway, he had to show up the next day and said he MAYBE has to get into my bathroom again ... it turned out he had to show up there, remove a few tiles, hammering a huge hole into my floor, laugh about the last "plumber" who fixed a former leak with a looping, fix the leak and after doing that closing the hole with one of my favourite towels (yes, ikea, silly question) and leaving. so since last thursday i have this nice hole in my bathroomfloor ... at least i cannot SEE my neighbours down there ... so you see, i really deserve another season of exes and ohs PLEHEASE

oh and this is how a german wall is filled ... pipes, pipes, pipes, pipes ... no, towels are no common filling material over here.

2007-10-01T21:20:00.000+02:00

GOOSEBUMP MOMENTS

besides the great party our girls had when arriving from china, this is one goosebump moment i like to share with you.

a friend once said, you don't hear from her in years, and then you just drop dead ... so true again.

annie lennox' new album is out. enjoy it.

2007-09-30T16:55:00.000+02:00

ONE MORE TIME

as you can see, we not only beat brazil, we adopted nice brazilian habbits too =D
this by the way is simone laudehr who saved our victory with her goal for the 2:0.

and speaking of 0 ... for the first time in football worldcup history (female and male) this team was wining the tournament without taking a single goal.so there has to be a special shoutout for our goalie nadine angerer, who was able to avert a penalty by martha, what definitely broke the moral of brazil. a few minutes later miss laudehr scored and brazil started crying. what they did a lot during the game ... they played very foul and everytime our players breathed in their direction, they fell to the ground acting like they at least broke all the bones contained in their bodies. they definitely fought for the oscar instead of the worldcup. that's what you get out of that ;D

so it was a historical day today. forst time a champion could defend the title, first time no goal taken during the whole tournament and (what i like really much) first time our team looked really good ;D

and speaking of looking good ...

miss kai played four more minutes in the game against norway. which the us girls could win with 4:0. so congratulations for the third place - wasn't that a great day today???

2007-09-27T22:56:00.000+02:00

WHICH PART OF BEAT BRAZIL YOU DIDN'T GET???

i said force THEM!!! to make an own goal. and who said anything about loose a player with a yellow/red card? i know sometimes this is a moral booster but isn't it a bit radical? and because i was only able to follow the game via ticker i am not sure if any jersey came off. i can only hope that happened because that was at least a little cheer up after that desastrous 4:0!!!

and it would have been so nice to meet at the final. well i hope you'll beat norway on saturday. but please be careful, they are angry ...

and don't forget, revenge is ours. because we'll kick brazilian booties on sunday ;D

2007-09-26T21:42:00.000+02:00

THERE YOU GO

ok sweeties, we did our job and reached the final. and this is how it works.

first you let your opponent (in your case brazil) play a bit and scare your supporters into nailbiting. then pretty close to the end of the first half you run towards the goal and let your most powerfuller kicker shoot from an insane angle and hit an opponent defender that she has no other chance than make an own goal. if this happens in the 42. minute of the game you can be sure your opponents will be going into the pause in a really sad mood. - oh and about the own goal, forget it, even though brazilian players like to celebrate their goals, no jersey will go off for that ;D

anyway, in the second half you show confidence. you let the ball roll, you wait for your chance, your opponent is angry because they are behind, they try and try, but you have a great goalie that steals their last nerves. you shoot some balls close over or aside your opponents goal to keep your supporters entertained - well if you think an almost heartattck is entertaining - and finally score again. if that happens your opponent is this disappointed that you just have to wait for the mistakes, like passing back to the goalie with not enough power conquering the ball and BOOM you win 3:0

i mean come on, don't say i haven't told you exactly how to reach the final. so we'll meet you on sunday right. and let miss kai play!!!!

=D

2007-09-24T21:55:00.000+02:00

DAMNIT

i am so sorry, i somehow missed the first ko round. thank goddess all our lovely protectionists are still in. and miss kai actually played 4 minutes against england. that's a total match time of 5 minutes. well at least our pleads were heard =D

anyway, for both our teams there will be two more games, whatever happens. ok, get ready for the new ifs. germany will play norway on wednesday, we will hopefully win and enter the final. so lets hope the us girls will beat brazil, so we meet in the finals. i am sorry you'll become vice champion, but you know, we'll win the tournament ;D

and lets hope brazil gets one goal, because the brazilian girls have the tendncy to take their jerseys off, when they score ;D

and worst case if brazil beats you, you can still beat norway and make the third place. what??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA meet in the game for third place HAHAHAHAHAHA that's a nice one *whiping her tears of *sigh, that really was a good one

2007-09-19T22:17:00.000+02:00

THINGS YOU CAN LEARN DURING THE WORLDCUP

today: meteorologie

first i want to introduce you to wipha, it is the tropical cyclone that causes the fact that today was no game played in china, and seriously who would run over a meadow in shorts in conditions like that.

but back to the educational part... wipha is a typhoon, not to mix up with a hurricane. and in english it is even more confusing, because a winter gale is called hurricane too. but the difference is, that a winter gale is born when cold air from the north pole meets warm air from the south and the passing of the two different airthings causes circulation.

tropical cyclones like "real" hurricanes and typhoons are born over heated water in the - surprise - tropical area and the circulation is caused by earthrotation ... well somehow, i couldn't find the translation for corilsion, so i can't explain better, sorry ... anyway, wipha is a typhoon, it circulates over china at the moment and the games will be played tomorrow ... hopefully

ghana and new zealand are definitely out of the tournament and brazil is definitely in the quarterfinal (well IF denmark beats them 6:0 AND china beats new zealand 7:0 they're out, but ... come on!!!!) denmark can only make it when they beat brazil, so i think china would be the other candidate for the quarterfinals.

much more fun in group c. australia on first place with 4 points and 5 :2 goals, secon is norway - also 4 points but only 3:2 goals and with 3 points on third place canada with also 5:2 goals. so norway beating ghana is a settled game, but the devil is a squirrel ;D. so whoever wins in the game canada vs australia will be in the quarterfinal. if canada wins, norway will be first and australia out. and if australia wins they will be first and canada will be out. well honestly i will be very happy when we are in the k.o. rounds and all this guessing is over =D

oh and i also found out that the scale that measures windspeed is named by the british admiral francis beaufort ... and to be a hurricane, or typhoon or winter gale it has to reach at least 12.

see, i learned a lot today =D

2007-09-18T21:23:00.000+02:00

EVEN WINNERS CAN LOOSE

poor swedish girls! they fought like tigers. made an early goal. get one and fought until they shoot another goal. so they won the game against korea but lost, because of the worse difference of goals. a tragedy

so i will not see cute swedish girls in the quarterfinal. high time to send loads of begging letters to the us coach. where is the nicely tattooed miss kai? she played one minute in the whole tournament yet ... i mean ... hello???? support your european voyeur and let her play ;D there is a chance in the game against england. yes, the us girls became first in group b as the oracle formerly known as the ministress told you =D I WANT MISS KAI!!! let her play ... pleeeeeeeeease!!!

oh and there was something else that was freaking me out today. i accidently watched childrens television this morning and saw a commercial for this.

i mean, what comes next? selling nightsight videocameras to four year olds so they can produce their own porn?? TSK!!

2007-09-17T20:40:00.000+02:00

CORRECTION

i am sorry, but i was a bit too fast with the coinflipping. today i found out, that before they flip coins, fairplay rules. isn't that sweet?? so the us girls have a little advantage because they have just one yellow card and the korean girls have two. for all who aren't familiar with the card system: when a player performs an evil foul, she gets a yellow card. it is kind of a warning. when she gets another yellow card in the game the referee will show her the red one too and she is send off the field. plus she will not be allowed to play the next match. also if a player gets two yellow cards in two different games she will be barred from the next game.
so usa is one card ahead. and the swedes really want to win against korea. so probably the us girls will be first in their group (lets just hope they will not loose against nigeria) and we will not meet in the quarterfinal. so we don't have to kick you out, because TADAAH germany finished the first round as groupwinner (who told you so ... =D you are so right) we beat japan 2:0 today, and because england won over argentina 6:1 (yay, argentina finally scored!!! and they scored with one girl less, because one player had to leave the field after been shown the second yellow card, double yay (not because of the foul, because of scoring short-handed silly))

anyway, the us girls will probably meet england in the next round =D tea party =D and we'll get korea or sweden ... i cross my fingers for the swedes, just visual reasons ;D

2007-09-14T19:52:00.000+02:00

THE POWER OF THE ALPHABET

a busy day today at the womens football worldcup in china. group a and b played, that means 4 games today. start with the boring stuff, germany dared to make a goal- and tensionfree draw against england. i don't know if they are bored after the 11 goals against argentina, me was after the game ... and japan won over the poor argentinians 1:0 so japan is on second place in our group. so if they beat us (HAHAHAHAHAHA) and england will win over argentina (what could happen, i mean think of the falkland crisis) we are out of the tournament ...YIKES!!! ... but probably we'll win and end on first place and the english girls should be able to beat argentina (come on, lets be honest, they are the tournament victims, canonfood) so they'll be second with 5 points.

much more interesting are things in group b where korea still leads just by alphabetical order ... you might remember? they had draws in these group. today the us girls won over sweden with 2:0 so they have 4 points now, 4 goals shot and 2 goals taken. unfourtunately the korean team won 2:0 over nigeria too, so they also have 4 points, 4 goals shot and two goals taken. the question is now, how will they play against their last group oponent... regularly the decision is made by points. a victory is worth 3 points, a draw 1. so if both teams win they are even in points. then the decision will be made by difference of goals, if they both win with the same result (for example 2:0) this will be even too, then the decision is made by how the teams played against each other, what is also even because of the draw. but a decision must be made because the first of the groups gets an advantage by playing against the probably less good second of another group. so they probably will flip coins ... in a worldcup ... they better decide in on the field. and hopefully the us girls will end as first because otherwise we'll be your oponent in the quarterfinals and have to kick you out. sorry, not my fault, it's just a game, but hey, we'll become worldchampions, no question.

oh and just for the record, miss wambachs head isdefinitely better, because she shot both goals (one by penalty) and our deliciously tattoed mis kai wasn't on field at all ... maybeshe would have shot the third goal and what would have made this group less complicated. *sigh ... anyway, i hope you got the conflict, i know it is complicated, if you didn't get it, mail me ... i'll draw a scheme ;D

2007-09-13T21:47:00.000+02:00

INTERNATIONAL AUTOMOBILE EXIBITION

everything works perfectly. i took the gamefree day at the wfwc to watch some cars. and there was a lot of stuff to watch. everything is very responsible these days. its all about taking care of the environment. every big seller who has a gassucker on stage has an hybridcar too and everything at the stages is blue (animated water) or green (so nature) or white (soooooooo innocent)
the funnies moment was at the saab stage, where they had the 80ies version of the 900 ... surprizingly edgy but i loved this car. even though i liked the more rounded 60ies version better. my personal moment of disappointment was the citroen c6. it is officially the heiress of the goddess ds ... but it cannot keep up a single bit. i officially don't like it. i mean ... this is the original

and this should be better???

and this is the most evil part: the rear

but at least the mini show was great ... i hope you enjoy it too.

2007-09-12T20:46:00.000+02:00

THE PUSSY WORLDCUP

hello to the ministresses promised womans football worldcup post. to make two things absolutely clear: i will not use the evil s-word and i kindly ask you not to do it either *bambieyes ... thank you *smoochies
and second (no silly that was not the s-word i was talking about *tsk) as you can see in the picture ... this game is serious (oh come on, the joke gets lame)

ok, the first games are over. four groups, sixteen teams, and until now a load of goals. as i mentioned germany won against argentina 11:0 what makes us groupleader in group a because japan vs. england ended with a 2:2 draw.

group b, the us girls group, turns out as a killer group. korea played surprisingly good and the game against the us girls ended 2:2. nigeria (very good too) against sweden (excellent team) was a draw too and ended 1:1. this group will be VERRRRRRRRY interesting. korea is groupleader just because of alphabetical order ... WOW!

in group c (australia, ghana, kanada and norway) everything goes as expected. the favourites australia and norway won their games. but each team got one goal in.

and in group d china had a surprisingly hard time against danmark (those skandinavian teams are hard to beat) but finally won 3:2. brasil shot new zealand out with 5:0 and is groupleader now.

if you wanna watch the games, i recommend fifa.com there is a link to the womans worldcup. next games will be on friday. we'll play against england, they'll be a decent oponent, not just a victim. and the us girls will have to fight sweden, i think this game will decide about who will make it into the next round. only two teams will pass and we have four favourites ... EXCITINGGGGGGGG!

lets hope miss wambachs headaches will be gone then. next updates on friday...

ssssssssssssssssssee you ;D

2007-09-11T07:21:00.000+02:00

TALKS #35 - HA HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

you thought it would take weeks again - right??? but nooooooooooooooooo, our little ministress took a deep breath, sat down on her cute bootie and just recorded this silly podcast. i mean, yes, i could have been sitting there, watching tv and feeling bad for my poor self because i am so tired and sucked out and my brain is all empty ... but then i thought, well, where do i need a brain for =D ... so i muted the tv, put the book aside and started recording ... yes, i am reading while i am watching tv, sometimes i listen to music too, and answering phonecalls and cook ... ok, when i'm on the phone i take the volume down, and it happened that i nearly burned the food, because of something fascinating in the tv ... what about you? do you concentrateon one thing after the other, or are you doing all things together?? not primary because you want to save time ... just because you can. i mean think of florence griffith joyner ... seven different sports in two days (carolina klüft for the youngsters ;D ) - oh that reminds me, tyson gay became 100m wordchampion, YAY!!!
oh and the footballworldcup of the ladies started in china yesterday and the german team blew the argentinian girls away with 11:0. today the us girls will play against korea, but unfourtunately there will be no final between germany and the us, we might meet in the semifinal ... or in the next round when you allow sweden to beat you ;D i think i should report of the worldcup the next days, what do you think? .. what? no of course not. i would never forget the main plot, i am here for posting a podcast, silly =D i mean, what do you expect from someone who is exactlylike todays theme: multitasking

=D

artists in order of appearance:

elvis presley- burning love

cher - shoop shoop song

björk - it's oh so quiet

madonna - sooner or later

toni collette - jonny's lips

juliette & the licks - mindful of daggers

uh huh her - run

k.d. lang - hush sweet lover

jasmin tabatabai - another sad song

charlotte gainsborough - the songs we sing

panda - schnauze

2007-09-10T11:06:00.000+02:00

A LITTLE TEASE

ok sweeties, i am slowly getting a grip on things. but the universe is working against me. besides i personally think a new job sucks you out for at least three month, until you found ot who is who, who is trustworthy, who should be avoided, who should be pampered, who should be yelled at ... i mean all that stuff you just need time to find out for, plus you have to figure out the rules by which the new company runs and stuff. i mean that sucks you out ... and now i am having fall. what mean less light, less warmth, less fun ... and with less communication with my dear pals that means all together a funny little autumn depression ... thank goddess there is still music to ligt things up. and the good thing is... whenever the universe closes the shutters, it opens a basementdoor somewhere ;D in my case it entertains me with this new band called panda, everything necessary to know about them you'll hopefully find out pretty soon in a new podcast =D

so take this as a tease

*sigh, i soooooooooo love that dirty berlin accent =D

2007-08-26T09:09:00.000+02:00

ALIVE AND KICKING

ok my little possums, i am sorry that i was abscent these days, ok weeks, but i haven't forget you. aux contraire, i miss you like crazy, but things are so busy these days, i just can't find some time to blog ... actually i can't even find the time to comment ... and when we speak about being honest, i can't even find time to answer my mails and i am not happy about that.

so for everyone who is interested in my little live, here is a short update.

the last days in the old job were very sweet. everyone was sad and said he will miss me like crazy ... that's nearly four weeks past and i am not sure they still know my name ;D

then i made a huge jump over the big puddle of water and visited a dear kelkian ... the incredible uta =D, i would say we had a great time, what wasn't only because we were at lollapalooza and saw the amazing juliette lewis and the tiny little miss winehouse. and after my first trip to the us i have to say: wow, it is almost like home but HUGE =D oh, and a kind advice for flights to europe ... bring a woolhat, better a furcap for the airplane, they are trying to freeze your brains ...

and after a whole week, where i tried to get over the jetlag (you wouldn't believe how much crap they show on tv at 4 am) i started my new job. and actually i feel like i've been there for a whole month now (no it is still just a week) as far i like it very much. coworkers are nice and patient (i still know only half of the names) obviously my new boss announced me as the wonderwoman of advertisement, everyone said something like oh you're nico, i've heard of you ... well they smiled when they said it, so i assume he was talking about my job-skills and not about my biting-heads-off-skills ;D

and speaking of being mean ... i only missed three weeks of kickboxing, but it felt like i lost my whole shape. on tuesday i had first training and i was puffing like a very old steamtrain ... but the coach says i should not stress myself. so i won't.

and because they track your online activities in the new job, and you are not allowed to check your private mails (they forgot to block my computer, i sent two mails, and i was blocked an hour later - they are serious!!!) i am afraid my blogging habbits will change ... i am thinking about switching to a podcast on the weekend to explain the whole week ... but probably i can just go back to regular blogs during the week as soon as i got a grip on the new job.

so i count on your patience sweeties, and be sure that i miss you all like crazy

BIGGEST GAYEST HUGS YOU EVER GOT

oh, by the way ... don't forget to watch the track and field worldcup ... i support the sprinter tyson gay - i think the reason is obvious ;D

2007-08-16T22:27:00.000+02:00

THE KING IS DEAD
LONG LIVE THE KING

we need a tribute today

2007-07-26T11:25:00.000+02:00

I THINK

i have a new favourite band =D ... on monday i sent my coworkers the funny video i posted, and today i got this in return .... i wonder why ;D

and as far as i listened to their album, it is great ... i HIGHLY recommend to check it out.

oh, they are called "gossip" by the way ;D

2007-07-23T11:39:00.000+02:00

I AM PISSED ...

today my harry potter copy arrived ... i could insert a yay here if i haven't watched a bit of austrian news on saturday around noon ... NOON!!! 11 hours after the selling of the book officially started!!! and they gave away the ending!!! i mean, what kind of journalism is that? i a m thinking about sueing them *pout ...but for the moment i try to hide this horrible information from the active part of my brain until i read it myself and try to think about happier things, like me going to lollapalooza =D and seeing (besides a fellow kelkian) juliette lewis, amy winehouse and IGGY POP!!!! that's something to light a day up hah? and if this is not enough, take this .... a very nice idea for a video i think, the music isn't this great but i am totally in love with the video =D

have a great day possums, big gay hugs

2007-07-19T10:30:00.000+02:00

TALKS #34 - STAY AWAY FROM OPEN WINDOWS!

on constant request of one single person here it is: the madrid podcast.

finally!

and believe it or not, this horrible bruise i got on the very first morning - can you believe, that i waited three days for a bruise i got from kicking a punchingbag this hard that i thought my leg will fall off, and you saw it, it was ridiculous, and then i just had a look out the window to check the weather and got this??? ok, i drew a little line around it, but i had to do something about it, people are looking at me like they could hardly hold themselfs back from saving me from my abusive husband ... anyway, meeting the girls and celebrating pride with them was one of the best things that happened this year. (well... there is an upcoming event that might top it, but this will be discussed in a differet podcast ;D )

... anyway, fact is, i finally got my lazy ass up and did this podcast, that might explain why i had this much fun =D i might have nearly lost an arm. but meeting this fantabulous bunch of pink ninjas was absolutely worth it.

and this is NOT a proposal, this is just my silly little podcast of europride

artists and participants in order of appearance

nina hagen

kosheen

horrorpops

amy

eve

vale

francesca

flor

special guest: ainara

p!nk

thalia

(i just don't want to spoil you, complete songlist will be send on request ;D)

2007-07-18T11:21:00.000+02:00

YES, YES, YES...

i know i am a lazy ass, and i know i promissed a podcast and i will try and sat myself down and do it tonight ... ok? forgive me?

hey, i found this REALLY silly video from bonde do role =D

2007-07-02T12:15:00.000+02:00

MADRID EUROPRIDE 2007

it was a blast!!! it was such a blast!!! i am still high of all this gayetty ... 2 million people dancing in the streets. most of them half naked ... unfortunately most of them boys ;D ... we had gay weather, we had gay atmosphere, we had claras (who, if you believe the sayings fuck with heidi all the time) we had a great time. oh we had a hotelroom that we nearly not used except of showering every once in a while. we met wonderful kelkians, crazy italians, dutch duracell bunnies (energizer for our overseas friends) we danced in the streets until four in the morning (ok, some of us came home with coffee and croissants at seven - very brave, very brave!!)
thank you madrid
thank you kelkians
i had a wonderful time

and if someone could send me that song i will be the happiest little pink ninja on the planet.

all i have to say is: bikinitime in stockholm 2008 ;D

2007-06-22T11:53:00.000+02:00

TALKS #33 - HOT & WET

june 21st - official start of summer and official recording day of this ultimate summerpodcast. and because it was - OF COURSE - raining yesterday this soundtrack for your summer is called under water

artists in order of appearance

summer fun - the barracudas

voila l'ete - les negresse vertes

summertime - janis joplin

summer in the city - regina spektor

some like it hot - the power station

san berdoo sunburn - eagles of death metal

burning - the whitest boy alive

summer nights - olivia newton-john & john travolta

summer holiday & me - the jessica fletchers

summer wine - ville vallo & natalia avelon

ein sommer nur für mich - die ärzte

2007-06-20T14:00:00.000+02:00

ANY WET T-SHIRT CONTESTANTS?

sorry, but i have to share this. this is how my shirt looked yesterday after training. i lost at least a liter of water. it was evil, first we were three people. what was good, because i had two turns to try and catch my breath. but then one of the guys had to go. and it became really funny. you know this point where you enter the "tunnel"? i was there three times. just wondering if i will faint now or throw up. i was glad that i had this in front of a punching bag, because years ago when i reached this spot during handball or football trainings i fell flat on my face out of topspeed running ... that's what i call fun ;D

anyway, i didn't faint and i didn't threw up. i just saw some funny little stars and sweated my cute little ass of ... yes, ok, next time i'll post a pic of my pants.

and you know who finally showed up? - right! - bruce ....

artist: frank sinatra
song: i get a kick out of you
album: the very best of

my story is much too sad to be told,
but practically everything leaves me totally cold.
the exception i know is the case
when i'm out on a quiet spree,
fighting vainly the old ennui,
and i suddenly turn and see your fabulous face.

i get no kick from champagne.
mere alcohol doesn't thrill me at all.
so tell me why should it be true
that i get a kick out of you?

some, they may go for cocaine.
i'm sure that if i took even one sniff
it would bore me terrifically, too.
yet i get a kick out of you.

i get a kick every time i see
you standing there before me.
i get a kick though it's clear to see
you obviously do not adore me.

i get no kick in a plane.
flying too high with some gal in the sky
is my idea of nothing to do.
yet i get a kick - um you give me a boot - i get a kick out of you.

2007-06-15T07:44:00.000+02:00

TALKS #32 - TOOOOOOOO HOTT

i am so sorry, but my head is a giant fuzzball ... or a sifter ... or on vacation somewhere out of my head ... whatever it is, it causes forgetting things. for example: i told you all week about bruises, and a kickboxlesson on friday ... i should have told you about other 5-year-olds, cake and lemonade. well at least i hope, i can grab a beer somewhere ;D because i forgot i have to go to a birthdayparty. of a five-year-old, who was on my birthday and EXPLICITELY invited me ... so there will be no kickboxing tonight. but hey, maybe i'll get some bruises at playing football ;D (the european one)
how could i forget that? the reason must be, because it is so freaking hot these days. subtropical temperatures, freaking humidity, in one word no wonder i forget everything under these circumstances ...
and because my mic works again (another too hott story, that will be explained) i made a little podcast, so i hope you can forgive me and probably might understand how i feel over here ... in this damn sauna ... hmmmmmmmmmmmm, and you are luckyfunguses, because i forgot finland too. so what you get today is NOT the sound of the dark depressed country of pudgy men, that are afraid of sunlight ... no you will get hot chicks in ridiculous tiny swimsuits, wearing feathers and shake their delicious booties like they are lacking an essential bone in their spine ... you will get braziu

artists in order of appearance

rio - duran duran

brazilian sun - cocorosie

segredo - katia b.

samba de minha namoradinho - calin with fantastic plastic

mais que nada - segio mendes & brasil '66

pussy - brazilian girls

solta o frango - bode do role

alala - css

ratamahatta - sepultura

the girl from ipanema - astrud & joao gilberto

2007-06-14T15:02:00.000+02:00

I AM PISSED!

like you see, you can see nothing. this darn bruise just disappeared. i am really really disapointed. so i HAVE to get a real one tomorrow. and that one better gets really black *pout

the only thing that lights up my mood today is the birthday of our dear edilma. in honour of our hot latina - who turns 25 today, YAY!!!! i HAVE TO share my favourite shakira video with you ... damn i like dirty girls ;D

2007-06-13T11:41:00.000+02:00

HAPPY BRUISEDAY

min asked for a kickbox update ... here it is ;D after being a musclecat-suffering pussy last friday i went again yesterday. it was great. i sweated this much that i had to put a towel under my knees for doing the sissy pushups, because i slid over the floor like nothing good. and i had fun. my kicks are getting better ... and harder ... and i switched from kicking with my instep to kicking with my shin, what hurts but is more effective. anyway, i will post the pic of my heroic bruise tomorrow, because then i think it will be perfectly blue. if it stays this red i will get a new one on friday ;D (bruise, not shin silly)
oh, and the coach said i'll be a great puncher ... what leads to harder punches on my side and a slightly injured joint of my poor poor little finger. call me weird but i feel kind of proud about my bruises =D
oh and we ropeskipped ... i need practice! and i need bandages, to protect my wrists and knuckles, my own gloves (because the public ones smell like feet) a decent skipping rope and a nice thaibox pant, those are cool.

and because german black eyes are blue (and german bruises are called blue spots) the song of the day is

artist: eurythmics
song: cool blue
album: touch

blue - the colour suits you
cool blue
how will you stay this way for ever?
blue again
it's a lasting chill
to keep you cold as winter

how can i forget you?
i'm never gonna give you up
how can i forget you baby?
i'm never gonna give you up

here it comes again
here it comes again

blue - the colour fools you
cool blue
i'll never stay this way for ever
blue again

(how could she fall for a boy like that)

2007-06-08T14:23:00.000+02:00

GUARDIANS OF THE CUBE

that's a very gay and very explicit comicbook and not what i want to talk about today. i wanna talk about ankle injuries. no not mine, my injuries are still sore muscles, what we call a musclecat over here. and i think i will skip todays kickbox lesson, to prevent to pull them. i am talking about the backsides of my thighs here, which hurt like nothing good. who invented stairs by the way??? today i would say that walking in general is completely overrated!!
but i am drifting off again. ANKLE INJURIES is a song by fujiya & miyagi, that was used on a nice jaguar commercial. and yesterday evening between two ridiculously annoying ringtone commercials mtv aired the video of this song. and i love it. i love it so much that i HAVE to share it. with you my dear friends. i hope you'll have an extraordinairie nice weekend. and here is the wonderful video:

big gay hugs

2007-06-06T14:19:00.000+02:00

OUTCH, OUTCH, OUTCH

ok, i haven't broken my hands. but i have a musclecat. it isn't as bad as i expected, but it is there. and it is wandering. but first to the cause of the handicap. my first kickboxlesson. it was fun. i think it is more fun than it's good for me. i'll have to watch out otherwise i'll hurt myself ;D so i learned to jab with my left hand. (yes i am a rightie) and punch with my right one. besides that i learned i have a coordination like a dead pig. i just cannot keep my fists up, my shoulders down, chin back, duck a bit, stand on the balls of my feet and all that at the same time ... i mean even the position of the thumbs is complicated. outside, or you'll break them. and not to far up, or you will poke someone in the eye ... if that would matter when you hit his face!!! anyway, we didn't fight. the only fight i fought was against my funny bones, that refuse to do the things i want them to do. but it was great. i sweated my little ass off ... the one that will become even nicer in no time because of this kicking. i mean you lift you leg, hold it there, and kick 50 times. after 35 it feels like someone is putting a knife into your cheek. have i mentioned i had to do it 3 times, with each leg? this christmas someone will need no nutcracker ;D
anyway ... i loved it. even though i am not satisfied with my performance and i have to learn really fast to twist my foot during kicking, otherwise i will break my knee. next lesson will be on friday. up to then i will do a bit shadowboxing to get myself better coordinated .... hmmmmmm, who would have expected it would have this much in common with dancing? oh, speaking of training in front of a mirror. you sweat like hell in that course. here is my advice. choose your trousers wisely. don't wear anything that darkens when it gets wet. light grey is evil, when you have to concentrate on 7ooo different things and suddenly realise that you look like you have peed your pants. i think i have to get myself some equipement ... YAY! i LOVE equipement =D

and even though it isn't this bad, the song of today is this:

artist: skunk anansie
song: twisted (everyday hurts)
album: stoosh

i cried on my blood day
there was nothing that i could hold on to
just a line could have helped
remind me of you, of you

i screamed till the blood came
i was living in a cloud of hope
lover's kiss,
then they mak a wish to the end,
they pretend

cause everyday hurts a little more,
and everyday hurts a little more
and i'll do anything
yes i'll do anything
to belong, to be strong
to say there's nothing wrong

everyday hurts a little more
'cos everyday hurts a little more
and i'll do anything
yes i'll do anything
to belong, to be strong
to say there's nothing wrong

everyday hurts

i cried to the sunlight
would i fake all the times i loved you
just a play in game
i twistedwith you, with you
i need to believe you
sacrificed all the lies we made up
how we kissed
then we made our wish to the end
to the end

cause everyday hurts a little more,
and everyday hurts a little more
and i'll do anything
yes i'll do anything
to belong, to be strong
to say there's nothing wrong

everyday hurts a little more
'cos everyday hurts a little more
and i'll do anything
yes i'll do anything
to belong, to be strong
to say there's nothing wrong

everyday hurts

time made me confide in you
so contrived were the words you sold me
now nothing can swallow
the feeling so shallow inside

cause everyday hurts a little more,
and everyday hurts a little more
and i'll do anything
yes i'll do anything
to belong, to be strong
to say there's nothing wrong

everyday hurts a little more
'cos everyday hurts a little more
and i'll do anything
yes i'll do anything
to belong, to be strong
to say there's nothing wrong

everyday hurts

2007-06-05T11:44:00.000+02:00

LET IT OUT

sitting on my desk all day isn't good for me. it feels like i have lots of energy, that is completely useless. so it feels like it stores up in there. and now i feel like i am going to burst. i tried a lot of things to get rid of it. but honestly, this working thing eats up a big part of my day. and this little bit of running doesn't help. neither does the funny bike riding. so i decided that i should try something new. and this new thing will be boxing ... well accidently it's kickboxing because my dear coworker tricked me into this. talking about boxing all the time, making me interested and then AFTER i said i will go with him, he mentioned the kicks. we'll see what happens ... and i really don't want to think about HOW long it is ago, that i last ropeskipped ... we'll see what will happen. tonight is my first lesson and i am excited. i'll report tomorrow if i don't break my hands ;D

have a great day all of you, and take care ... i'm getting more dangerous every day ;D

song of the day:

artist: the distillers
song: beat your heart out
album: coral fang

baby, you make my heart beat faster.
baby, you make my heart beat faster. i know.

let alone to rest alone,
yeah you’re making me.
i had to run the damage is done,
i give it up, i give it up.
there’s nothing left so take the rest,
yeah you’re draining me.
i set it alight it burns so bright,
stab it out, stab it out.

baby, you make my heart beat faster.
baby, you make my heart beat faster. i know.
yeah i know. i know.

i had to run the damage is done,
i give it up, i give it up.
i had to go it got control,
yeah you’re breaking me.
there’s nothing left so take the rest,
stab it out, stab it out.
i set it alight it burns so bright,
yeah you’re draining me.

you make my heart beat faster.
baby, you make my heart beat faster. i know.
yeah i know that it’s true.

let alone to rest alone.
let alone to rest alone.
let alone to rest alone.

baby, you make my heart beat faster.
baby, you make my heart beat faster.
baby, you make my heart beat faster.

there’s nothing left so take the rest.
there’s nothing left so take the rest.
there’s nothing left so take the rest.
there’s nothing left so take the rest.

baby, you make my heart beat faster.
baby, you make my heart beat faster.
baby, you make my heart beat faster.

let alone…..

2007-06-04T14:31:00.000+02:00

THE CHAIN OF PORN

you might think it is a downward spiral of sex, drugs and depression. but it's not. you just need two freaky brains and you end up in sesamestreet.
so, this happened last weekend:
on my usual trip through the internet i of course visited slogreenx' blog, where missy green was so kind to post a link to another blog that linked to a video on youporn.com. i was surprised that youporn exists. well the little movie was nice, but not THIS pornographic as i am used to - you remember? i live in europe. and i work in the redlight district. and i own the golden dr. müller membercart. - ok the last one was a lie, but anyway. i wasn't this impressed. but then someone made me scroll down and i saw that there were 98 more movies about this kind of content ... well girl on girl action. (oh, if you are looking for that, don't watch "lesbian fisting" i have no idea how THAT fits in there. i highly recommend to DON'T watch that!) anyway. after spreading the news of this movie, i received a song in exchange, from a musical called avenue q, titled: the internet is for porn. and the actors are puppets. you can find that on youTUBE if you like ... don't try youPORN it isn't there. and talking about the monsters, we of course ended up in sesamestreet.
so here we are, from porn via music to sesamestreet ... and that leads to some really important questions ... so, what's your favourite sesamestreet character? who was your favourite muppet? and did you like the fraggles? my favourite fraggle was BOOBer ... and *schwupps* we are back at porn ;D

song of the day
artist: avenue q cast
song: the internet is for porn
album: avenue q

KATE
The internet is really really great
TREKKIE MONSTER
For porn
KATE
I’ve got a fast connection so i don’t have to wait
TREKKIE
For porn
KATE
Huh?
There's always some new site,
TREKKIE
For porn!
I browse all day and night
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
It's like i’m surfing at the speed of light
TREKKIE
For porn!
KATE
Trekkie!

TREKKIE
The internet is for porn
KATE
Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn,
KATE
What are you doing!?
TREKKIE
Why you think the net was born?
Porn porn porn

KATE
Treee—kkie!
TREKKIE
Oh hello kate monster
KATE
You are ruining my song
TREKKIE
Oh me sorry, me no mean to
KATE
Well if you wouldnt mind please being quiet for a minute so i can finish?
TREKKIE
Me no talkie
KATE
Good

I’m glad we have this new technology
TREKKIE
For porn
KATE
Which gives us untold opportunity
TREKKIE
For por—oops, sorry
KATE
Right from you own desktop
TREKKIE
For ---
KATE
You can research browse and shop
Until you’ve had enough and your ready to stop
TREKKIE
FOR PORN!!

Trekkie!
TREKKIE
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Noooo
TREKKIE
The internet if for porn!
KATE
Trekkie
TREKKIE
Me up all night honking me horn to porn, porn, porn!

KATE
That’s gross you’re a pervert
TREKKIE
Ah, sticks and stones Kate monster
KATE
NO really, you're a pervert
Normal people don’t sit at home and look
At porn on the internet
TREKKIE
Ohhhh?
KATE
What?!
TREKKIE
You have no idea
Ready normal people?

NORMAL PEOPLE
Ready--- ready ----ready

TREKKIE
Let me hear it!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
Sorry kate
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
PRINCETON
I masturbate!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
All these guys unzip their flies
For porn, porn, porn!

KATE
The internet is not for porn!!

TREKKIE AND GUYS
PORN!, PORN, P---

KATE
HOLD ON A SECOND!

Now i know for a fact that you, Rob, check your portfolio and trade stocks online

ROB
That’s correct.

KATE
And Brian, you buy things on Amazon.com

BRIAN
Sure!

KATE
And Gary, you keep selling your possesions on Ebay

GARY
Yes I do!

KATE
And Princeton, you sent me that sweet online birthday card

PRINCETON
True!

TREKKIE
Oh, but Kate-
What you think he do . . .after? hmm?

PRINCETON
. .yeah

KATE
EEEWWWWW!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
Gross!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
The internet is for porn!
KATE
I hate porn
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Grab your dick and double click
KATE
I hate you men!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
For porn, porn, porn!
(harmonizing) porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I’m leaving!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn
porn, porn, porn, porn
KATE
I hate the internet!
TREKKIE AND GUYS
Porn, porn, porn, porn

TREKKIE
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND SOME
The internet is for

TREKKIE AND ALL
The internet is for PORN!

TREKKIE
YEAH!

2007-05-29T13:13:00.000+02:00

THE PROBLEM WITH GETTING OLDER

actually i am reaching an age now where it get's harder and harder to bend down and pick up the mess after the party. not to speak of the pounding in my head. and my weak stomach. and you know what ... finally, two months after the breakup i finally had a girl in my bed ;D mmmmmmmmm she was sooooooooooooooooooo cute ... ok nothing really happened ... besides she puked on me ... and fell asleep instantly ... and i think i saw her sucking some other girls nipples ... but i can't help it, i am totally in love with her ... *sigh, must be because she is just six months old ;D

anyway, i had a great time and a really nice party ... sad you couldn't be there too ... maybe next year????

artist: richard cheese
song: fight for your right
album: lounge against the machine

you wake up late for school - man you don't wanna go
you ask you mom, "please?" - but she still says, "no!"
man, living at home is such a drag
now your mom threw away your best porno mag (bust it!)

you have to fight for that right to party

you have to fight

don't step out of this house if that's the clothes you're gonna wear
i'll kick you out of my home if you don't cut that hair
your mom busted in and said, "what's that noise?"
oh, mom you're just jealous - it's the beastie boys!

you have to fight for that right to party
you have to fight for that right to party

2007-05-22T16:37:00.001+02:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HERGÉ

if he didn't died in 1983 he would have become 100 today. i love comicbooks since i was a kid. a funny desease i shared with my uncle who was neither the brother of my mother nore the brother of my dad. i wonder if these things are in your genes or if you just pick them up ... anyway, this uncle, a grown up man, loved comic books. and he shared them with me. i was fascinated by these books you could understand even though you weren't really able to read. they were so much fun. and i was totally aware of the different qualities of these books. i always had a faible for the french ones. i loved - and still love - goscinny and franquin (even though i still do not know hoe to pronounce that correctly) but while i am mostly fascinated of the story here, hergé totally got me with his style of drawing. the so called "ligne claire" and of course my favourite character is not smartypants tintin, i prefer the always grumpy, and very colourful cursing captain haddock. and i think he has a tiny little alcohol problem but who could invent something like "billions of bilious blue blistering barnacles" when he is sober???

so todays question is, did you read comic books when you were little? do you still read them? what was your favourite? what is? and if you do not read them anymore, what made you stop and do you miss them?

ok, that was more than one question, but who cares =D

my all time favourite episode is number 17 explorers on the moon

so of course the song of today strikes twice. ligne claire and spacetravel

artist: the b-52's
song: planet claire
album: the b-52's

ahhhahhahhahh

she came from planet claire
i knew she came from there
she drove a Plymouth Satellite
faster than the speed of light

planet claire has pink air
all the trees are red
noone ever dies there
noone has a head

ahhhahhhahhahh

some say she's from mars
or one of the seven stars
that shine after 3:30 in the morning
WELL SHE ISN'T

ahhhahhhahhahhahhahh

2007-05-15T11:49:00.000+02:00

IS SUICIDE THE NEW HOMOSEXUALITY?

ok i've learned that this year white is the new black. but more important is another question. the one above. what happened to my dear coworker last weekend was this. he met a girl in a club and after they talked for a while she suddenly said she will kill herself the next day.
weird as we are, we of course started to ask ourselfes, if she wasn't interested in him, couldn't she simply say she is a lesbian? why did she say she is going to kill herself. he said it was definitely no attention seeking, it was more like "i have to clean the litterbox" now we ask ourselfes, was it just an attempt to get rid of him? in that case the mentioning of a full litterbox would have done too, but she couldn't know. anyway, he left, and as far as we followed the newspapers, there was no suicide this weekend. so obviously she lied, like most of the girls that tell guys they are lesbians to get rid of them. and i always wondered if guys fall for that? i mean they are trained by their porn, that "lesbians" always haven't met the right guy yet. so probably some girls found out, that this whole lesbian excuse gets often mistaken as an encouragement to proove the special skills the y-chromosome-owner has to offer. and keeping that in mind, it makes sense to switch from "i'm a lesbian" to "i'll kill myself tomorrow".

what do you think ... or better what do you say, when a y-ie is flirting with you?
and don't go for the two answers we already have, i want something new, something creative ... *sigh ... yes, if you have to you can be honest too.

have a great day, here is the song for it.

artist: kosheen
song: suicide
album: resist

drop that rhythm and you unwind
keep that feeling and you step in time
all too pretty for a real life
suicide

drop that rhythm and you unwind
keep that feeling and you step in time
all too pretty for a real life
suicide
suicide

slip 'n' slide
your eyes are wide
tongue-tied
you slip 'n' slide

shut tight
slip 'n' slide
read the line
the underlined

slow down
ease your mind
time to find
another ride
another ride

drop that rhythm and you unwind
keep that feeling and you step in time
all too pretty for a real life
suicide

drop that rhythm and you unwind
keep that feeling and you step in time
all too pretty for a real life
suicide
suicide

look right
slip 'n' slide
time flies
you slip 'n' slide

leave now
be left behind
time to find
another ride

slow down
ease your mind
time to find
another ride
another ride

drop that rhythm and you unwind
keep that feeling and you step in time
all too pretty for a real life
suicide

drop that rhythm and you unwind
keep that feeling and you step in time
all too pretty for a real life
suicide
suicide

drop that rhythm and you unwind
keep that feeling and you step in time
all too pretty for a real life
suicide

drop that rhythm and you unwind
keep that feeling and you step in time
all too pretty for a real life
suicide
suicide

2007-05-14T13:54:00.000+02:00

WOMEN RULE THE WORLD

that was our title on saturday and as i told you we had no chance with this song. it is nice, it swings. this might be a bit extravagant in germany but it still is mediocre. the guy is mediocre looking, even though he tries by constantly wearing 50ies stuff. and this ridiculous hat!!!! anyway, it was nothing new, nothing innovative, nothing that entertained in any way. and now everyone howls about the big fat easter conspiracy. to me this sounds a bit like bad loosers. we didn't get enough points because we were mediocre. but how does our eurovision music industrie dares to say what is right and what is wrong music? what makes them the experts? 40 years of ralph siegel doctrine? it sucks. and now they are trying to change the rules, so that probably andorras vote who has only a few thousand citizens is not counting as much as the vote of france ... they discuss a lot about the eastern countries sharing their points. but i have to declare officially that it was right, that we lost. it wasn't correct, that serbia won, because their song was boring ... but they won. and it is sad that the western countries build up this east west conflict again. now with music. and the press is awful too. they write about betrayel, and all this nonsense.

the serbian song is a classical eurovision song, they participated for the first time , and they sang about a prayer. it had everything a songcontest song needs. slime, cornyness, sad eyes, and some beautiful backgroundsingers. so what? it won. and yes, serbia got twelve points from the countries bosnia-herzegovina, slovenia, montenegro and macedonia ... al countrie that belong to the former republic of jugoslavia before the war. and instead of being happy, that finally these countries find back together again through music, they lament. as if our little swinger would have got points from them!!!! ... this is silly. i wish these morons could take a defeat with dignity. i am deeply ashamed about my country and all the western countries that blow into this conspiracy horn because they were too bad.

i mean... ireland! someone should have told them it is not good to take novocaine before performing. england was simply hilarious. the correct reward for an act like that is corporal punishment, not points. and i don't know what we are whincing about we got zero points 29 times. and our highest scroe was 7 what we gained from austria and switzerland! isn't that neighbours help too?

anyway, i am happy to have found out that the ranking wouldn't be any different, even if the eastern countries hadn't voted at all ;D

and i wished that the ukraine had won ... that was something that you can call a lot of things but really not mediocre ;D

here it is:

i LOVE that song =D

THAT is silly listening!!! no sense just fun - YAY

2007-05-11T11:01:00.000+02:00

TALKS # 31 - THE GAYEST HOURS OF EUROPE

after a week of absence i am back with a new podcast for my lovelies ... and we have a good reason: the eurovision songcontest that will be held on saturday. it is such a gay thing that it must be introduced to our dear overseas listeners =D
this event has a huge reputation, it is -at least in germany- the connection between the world of the mothers and the world of the rainbow. so lets celebrate it as it should be, watching the show with all the other people all around europe, vote for turkye and don't forget your pretzel sticks and bathrobes

artists in order of appearance:

grand prix eurovision - stereo total

mercie cherie - udo jürgens (austria)

ding-a-dong - teach-in (netherlands)

waterloo - abba (sweden)

diva - dana international (israel)

ein bisschen frieden - nicole (germany)

dschinghis khan - dschinghis khan (germany)

can't wait until tonight - max mutzke (germany)

wild dances - ruslana (ukraine)

hardrock halleluja - lordi (finland)

wadde hadde dude da - stefan raab (germany)

+++ NEWSFLASH+++

dj bobo who was mentioned in this podcast, has failed at the qualification yesterday evening ... so there will be no undead in helsinki tomorrow ... you see, as dark as it may look, there's always hope ;D

2007-05-04T10:19:00.000+02:00

PEDESTRIANS ARE DANGEROUS

besides a tendency to make fun of the other tribemates the german tends to be accurate. which sometimes leads to almost-accidents ... what? yes, i know, you are expecting a podcast, but i am a lazy ass this week so don't bother me and let me go on ranting about the tribemates ... where was i? right, almost accident. i told you before about the sandals and socks disease ... there's another one called walking the line. i think it's because of all this accuracy we are forced to follow. so you cannot walk in the middle of the sidewalk, smiling and happy when you are a german. you have to search for a line which you can follow. which should be no problem, if not the bikeways are on the sidewalk seperated from the pedestrian ways by what? - correct, a line! i mean which evil masterbrain filed that plot? must have been a cardriver in hope we kill each other in no time. so what happened this morning was this: you remember the tour de france in 2003? when lance armstrongs handle bar got caught by a supporters plastic bag? and this whimp ullrich waited for him and armstrong slipped out of the clickpedals and nearly fell again and still beat ullrich? hilarious ... anyway, well what happened today was nearly the same, except i was going downhill instead of uphill, and there where no supporters just this one old lady, and the plastic bag was green not orange, and i didn't wore a yellow shirt and i only NEARLY got cought in the bag ... i am so glad i watched all these colt seavers series when i was little ;D ... but the thing is, this lovely granny tiptoed exactly ON the line that devides the grey bikeway from the pink pedestrianway ... tsk germans

here's the song of the day ;D

artist: robbie williams
song: south of the border
album: life thru a lense

i know a freaky young lady
name of cocaine katie
she makes my temperature freeze
she's got a blood red powder
when she gives a shout
she'll bring you to your knees

well, we were being clever
playing god games forever
she said she only meants to please
but i'm someone's brother,
got a father and a mother
you know i'm going to have to leave

south of the border
i think you oughta
south of the border
i think you oughta

'cos you know you're gonna have to leave
to a place where you can breathe
and you know there's no reprieve

there'll be tears on leaving
but there won't be no grieving
'cos a city soon forgets
to me it's magic
to the landlord it's tragic
he's got another room to let

there'll be the same old faces
in the same old places
where my youth was well misspent
but i tow the line
and move in time
to a town called 'no regrets'

south of the border
i think you oughta
south of the border
i think you oughta

'cos you know you're gonna have to leave
to a place where you can breathe
and you know there's no reprieve

'cos you know you're gonna have to leave
to a place where you can breathe
and you know there's no reprieve

2007-04-27T14:40:00.000+02:00

ALLERGIES

ok officially it's spring ... even though it feels like summer ... actually we have the same temperatures as in caracas here, funny isn't it ... but anyway, in springtime it's usually time for every sort of allergies. i am in the lucky position to have none ... except the pantomimic herpes i get from bad singing, conversation, political speeches and so ... you know what i mean ... but yesterday i fell over an article that was really interesting. dr. david resnik from new york announced that 80 women worldwide suffer from sperm allergy. the doctor recommends desensibilisation ... that might be ok, but me would recommend something different.
what did alice say during speeddating in season 3? i'm a bit low on sperm? i think that was it ... so i would recommend alice =D sounds like an excellent medicine to me. - but i'm nosey, what about you? any allergies? starting to shudder at the view of snails? freaked out by spiders? something similar to pantomimic herpes???? tell me!

artist: mando diao
song: all my senses
album: hurricane bar

pull the trigger, break down in a love affair
when i said i didn’t care, you started searching for tomorrow
pull the trigger, my girl you’re running all alone
i said i was back home, but i’m far away

and there ain’t no point in the words i write
there ain’t no way to know me
but it sure felt right when i saw your eyes
but now they feel like, oh yeah they feel like Mondays

and all my senses seem to shine through the day
seem to shine through the day, honey that’s okay
yes all my senses seem to shine in the night
seem to shine in the night, honey that’s alright

in your heart girl, i see a jealous butterfly
you wanted me high, love, but i’m sober still
in your heart girl, there’s nothing left but misery
come dance while i’m getting free i’m gonna lie again

cause there ain’t no point in the words i write
there ain’t no way to get me
but i sure was high when i saw your smile
but now your always, oh yes you’re always gone girl

and all my senses seem to shine through the day
seem to shine through the day, honey that’s okay
yes all my senses seem to shine in the night
seem to shine in the night, honey that’s alright

all my senses seem to shine in the night
seem to shine in the night, honey that’s alright
and all my senses seem to be in this song
thinking all day long, honey what went wrong
tell me what went wrong
tell me what went wrong

2007-04-26T11:16:00.000+02:00

THE GERMAN DISEASE

ok we have an early summer this year ... we completely jumped over spring directly into summer ... two days with fantastic smelling plants, fresh green leafs and grinning people ... now we arrived in the deep dark hell of german summer. ok, it's not really dark, it's light what in my opinion makes it worse. one reason why i choose riding a bike to work is - yes of course my butt - but more important it's the oportunity to stay out of the public transport system. where you are trapped with all kinds of horrible creatures you thought only exists in horrormovies or legends. but they exist. and they take the subway. so today i had to use the subway again and immediately encountered the germanicus buerocratus holidayiansis. a creature that causes eyecancer and other serious allergic reactions on first sight. remarkable features of this species are short trousers - the legs have to be of the colour of cottage cheese - in screaming colours (mine wore red ones), a socalled funshirt (balloonsilk with ridicoulous pattern) and the absolute necessary white socks in sandals. it's mediocrity on feet. even though it's somehow extreme. to me it's mediocrity, and that is the worst curse i know ... so after you noticed how horrible my morning was, and i was tortured by terrible headache yesterday - would you please stop grinning? i am talking about migrane not hangover - i deserve something nice to entertain me ... you have the whole commentbox. and if it has to be something mediocre it better is good ;D

the song of today is

artist: jack johnson
song: mediocre bad guys
album: on and on

well don't give me no comic book sad looks no more
please don't use those same excuses you've used before
mmm hmmm mmm hmmm
you told yourself so many times it's okay
so be good to try
but you just don't know how to come back down
and now you beat me up, you break me down
hoping i don't come around,
kick me when i'm on the ground,
beat me up, break me down,
hoping i don't come around,
kick me when i'm on the ground

well how about those people i know that you know the ones i mean
not so good, not so bad
only know what they have
and they have only what they've seen
them mediocre bad guys can really bring you down
they can't be defeated, and you know
they're never going to come around

they just beat me up and break me down
hoping i don't come around
kick me when i'm on the ground
beat me up, and break me down
hoping i don't come around
kick me when i'm on the ground
They just beat me up and break me down
hoping i don't come around
kick me when i'm on the ground
beat me up, and break me down
hoping i don't come around
kick me when i'm on the ground
beat me up, and break me down
hoping i don't come around
kick me when i'm on the ground
beat me up, and break me down
hoping i don't come around
kick me when i'm on the ground

2007-04-24T11:41:00.000+02:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

have i ever mentioned how much i adore women with big noses? anyway, today is the birthday of one of them ... miss barbra streisand ... hmmmmm, and while i was thinking about it, i have to realize that i share my weak spot for bignosed women with mr. agassi ... yes, the tennisplayer, who was together with miss streisand for a while and is now married to? correct, steffi - big nose - graf. isn't it funny when completely useless synapses connect in your brain just for entertainment???

anyway, it's miss streisands birthday today. and my favourite movie with her was "what's up, doc?" i think i'll watch it tonight.

hmmmmmmmm... does anyone knows if mr. agassi has a weak spot for crossdressers too?

anyway, song of today

artist: barbra streisand
song: don't rain on my parade
album:

don't tell me not to fly
i've simply got to
if someone takes a spill
it's me and not you
don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade

don't tell me not to leave
just sit and putter
life's candy and the sun's a ball of butter
who told you you're allowed to rain on my parade

i'll march my band out
i'll beat my drum
and if I'm fanned out
your turn at bat, sir
at least i didn't fake it, hat, sir
i guess i didn't make it

but whether i'm the rose of sheer perfection
a freckle on the nose of life's complexion
a Cinderella or a shine apple of an eye
i gotta fly once
i gotta try once
only can die once, right, sir?
ooh, life is juicy
juicy and you see
i gotta have my bite, sir

get ready for me love
'cause i'm a "comer"
i simply gotta march
my heart's a drummer
don't bring around the cloud to rain on my parade

yes, sir
no, sir
i'm gonna live and live now
get what i want, i know how
all that the law will allow
one roll for the whole shebang
one throw that bell will go clang
though i'm alone i'm a gang
eye on the target and wham
one shot, one gun shot and bam

hey, world, here i am...
get ready for me life, 'cause i'm a "comer"
i simply gotta march, my heart's a drummer
nobody, no, nobody, is gonna rain on my parade!

2007-04-20T09:38:00.000+02:00

TALKS #30 - EXORCISM

ok this is an attempt to finally get over this whole moving thing, because i don't want to bore you to death ... i have to thank everybody who followed me through these last weeks and supported me, and cared about me and gave me smiles ... even though it was frightening unnecessary because i was feeling good most of the time ... but anyway, we close this case now with the ultimate "how's nicos condition"-podcast, which is quite selfexplaining ;D

artists in order of appearance

i got you - james brown

shoo be doo - macy gray

new life - depeche mode

seventeen again - eurythmics

teenagers - my chemical romance

alles neu - mia.

my interpretation - mika

slung-lo - erin mckeown

i'm on a high - the boss hoss

feeling good - muse

2007-04-19T10:59:00.000+02:00

15 MINUTES OF FAME

normally this things are hanging around at the trainstation announcing arriving and departing trains. but now, for a few days they are art. they are still hanging around in the main train station, but this time not at the tracks. and they got a nice name too. they are called "trainbirds" what explains their spreaded wings ... oh, i might have to mention that migratory birds are called "trainbirds" in german so you get the twinkle of the eye maybe ... i think this piece is beatiful and it fits to the whole moving thing that's the theme for quite a boring while on this blog now =D

so i hope you enjoy this slightly educational post and because i can't let go of this moving theme the fitting song for the trainbirds is

artist: norah jones
song: come away with me
album: come away with me

come away with me in the night
come away with me
and i will write you a song

come away with me on a bus
come away where they can't tempt us
with their lies

i want to walk with you
on a cloudy day
in fields where the yellow grass grows knee-high
so won't you try to come

come away with me and we'll kiss
on a mountaintop
come away with me
and i'll never stop loving you

and i want to wake up with the rain
falling on a tin roof
while i'm safe there in your arms
so all i ask is for you
to come away with me in the night
come away with me

(damn, i think i need a podcast to exorcise myself ;D )

2007-04-18T14:22:00.000+02:00

GENDERBENDER

ok, yesterday this question came up ... what's the thing about wearing boy panties? that's no big question if you are a boy i think, i also don't think it's a big thing if you are a girl ... but that's my opinion. so, just to make sure, what do you think about girls wearing boys underwear? did you ever wore boys undies? did you like it? why did you like it? why did you not? do you want to make some boy-panties-experiences in the future? why not? and why do you think these very cool superhero-boyspanties should be reserved for boys? i mean at the beginning of the last century, women faught for the right to be in men reserved places, men reserved jobs, women started to kiss men reserved women, in public ... so why stop at underwear? HAH? and when will there be finally a bra that matches my hulk boy-shorties????

questions over questions!!! ;D

and here is the song of today

artist: seeed
song: tight pants
album: next!

minus 10 grad, doch wir müssen raus
wie ne katze die auslauf brauch
im haus ist es schon warm is es auch
aber partykatze jagt die partymaus
unter fünf mützen schwitzt man auch
mein thermo-outfit wiegt ne tonne
ich kann kaum gehn
doch ich komme durch die clubtür
drin scheint die sonne

ratlos guckt sie in kleiderschrank
"was zieh ich'n bloß für teile an?"
leider fand sie wie immer geiler
was der schrank der anderen weiber kann
nur mit hotpants is sie einverstanden
die sind zwar drei nummern eingegangen
dafür sitzen sie tighter
damit kommst du in jeden club rein, madame

warum tanzt du denn nicht mit mir
bin ich zu blöd, stink ich nach bier?
why don't you dance to say no task
and answer please to my request

do you wanna shake it (yeaaah)
so come on shake it (nooooooo)

say what my pants are too tight
and i can let myself know

do you wanna shake it (yeaaah)
so come on shake it (nooooooo)

aha your pants are too tight
so you can say let yourself go

jeder kleine step ist der reine stress
is zwar'n geiler dress
aber reingeprtesst das is schon'n krasses handycap
denn dein geiles heck steckt leider fest
die frauen im laden bepissen sich
weil du für die pants die quittung kriegst
gib dir einen tipp zeig mir deinen slip
zieh die pants aus ich strippe mit dir mit
komm ins licht zier dich nicht
da gibs keine debatten nich lange fackeln
lass backen wackeln und die andren schabracken im schatten zappeln

warum tanzt du denn nicht mit mir
bin ich zu blöd, stink ich nach bier?
why don't you dance to say no task
and answer please to my request

do you wanna shake it (yeaaah)
so come on shake it (nooooooo)

aha your pants are too tight
so you can say let yourself go

say what my pants are too tight
and i can let myself know

do you wanna shake it (yeaaah)
so come on shake it (nooooooo)

aha your pants are too tight
so you can say let yourself go

t-t-take your tight pants off
t-t-take your tight pants off

everybody is shakin down the spot,
everybody rock and i want to you do it
girl why did you come here,
you just stand on the floor
like puppets in the store,
that's not how we're doin.
get into it and loosen up a bit,
all you need is to
get rid of that shit and move it.
as if you can't breath
i guess you better release
now come on do it please,
you ain't got the clue.
gonna show you if you want to,
if you're ready to make a go
let me know it.

can't do it yourself just call me for help,
gonna use your belt,
whip your numb ass.
it's gonna feel good, gonna look good,
gonna heal you.
so come on and drop it.
girl what's going on you know what is wrong,
what can't move can't last.

do you wanna shake it (yeaaah)
so come on shake it (nooooooo)

aha your pants are too tight
so you can say let yourself go

say what my pants are too tight
and i can let myself know

do you wanna shake it (yeaaah)
so come on shake it (nooooooo)

aha your pants are too tight
so you can say let yourself go

2007-04-17T09:45:00.000+02:00

LEZ STEREOTYPEZ

hello, i am back ... it wasn't as evil as expected ... to be honest we had some fun too ... me nearly got out the chainsaw to kill the stubborn rack that drove us mad ... i was this close to throw it out of the window ... the only problem was, the window was too small ... anyway, there were a lot of things that were really nice too ... the silly pride you feel when you've moved your whole stuff, the pizza revelry with your friends where everyone is sweaty and dirty and grinning widely because of the good feeling of having earned the pizza, of course the shower where you get all the sweat and dust off of you but most of all i like driving the truck =D

no, i am usually no truckdriver lezzie, but i love driving these trucks ... so that's why i posted my hat ... yes, this thing is mine and i wore it all saturday, together with a wide grin, some sunglasses and a flanell-shirt - ok, after half an hour i changed to a wifebeater, because it was hot on saturday - and yes, when i was driving that thing a fag hung down from my lip ... *sigh, i had a really great time ... a tiny little musclecat on sunday and a lot of bruises but driving the truck in full drag was so worth it!!!!

so if anybody is moving and needs a driver ... call me ;D

and because we are talking about lesbian stereotypes, here's another one

artist: melissa etheridge
song: you can sleep while i drive
album: brave and crazy

come on baby let's get out of this town
i got a full tank of gas with the top rolled down
there's a chill in my bones
i don't want to be left alone
so you can sleep while i drive
i'll pack my bag and load up my guitar
in my pocket i'll carry my harp
i got some money i saved
enough to get underway
and baby you can sleep while i drive

we'll go thorough tucson up to santa fe
and barbara in nashville says we're welcome to stay
i'll buy you glasses in texas a hat from new orleans
and in the morning you can tell me your dreams

you know i've seen it before
this mist that covers your eyes
you've been looking for something
that's not in your life
my intentions are true
won't you take me with you
and baby you can sleep while i drive

oh is it other arms you want to
hold you the stranger
the lover you're free
can't you get that with me

come on baby let's get out of this town
i got a full tank of gas with the top rolled down
if you won't take me with you
i'll go before night is through
and baby you can sleep while i drive

2007-04-12T11:34:00.000+02:00

NOW IT'S OFFICIAL

yesterday i signed the contract. finally. i made my security deposit and now i am officially the renter of my new flat, instead of the evil intruder i was the past two weeks. i slept much better tonight ;D even though the edges of these darn videotapes, poked hurtfully into some sensitive parts of my precious body ;D

i borrowed the office car to see my new landlord and of course i had to buy some gas. question: where are the days, when you could open a flap at the side of the car and screw open the gas tank? it all started with me driving to the wrong side of the station of course ... if there are two ways of doing something you can bet your little ass i will choose the wrong one ... i take it with humour, it helps ;D

so after i spent 10 minutes trying to find out how to open that damn flip on the side of the devilish car, even my humour started to fade ... i sat the milecounter back to zero, i think i unfixed all the fix radiostations on the entertainment system, turned on the warning lights seven times, cursed like a drayman and finally i found a tiny little nearly invisible lever under the floormat ... ok it was in the door, but it was really well hidden!!! you see, when i went in to pay i had to get myself something nice to calm me down ... i got me a penthouse magazine ... dita von teese is on the cover =D i had to buy it ...

so what do you think is better? penthouse or playboy? penthouse has no centerfold but i think the pictures of the featured girls are better, the pics of the vip chicks are always excellent but in playboy the playmates look mostly cheap ... i have no experience with hustler yet and only one encounter with lui, but that's long ago and i didn't like it. so what would you recommend?

and because it's moving week, and i am talking about nothing else, here's the song of the day:

artist: curtis mayfield
song: move on up
album: greatest hits

hush now child,
and don't you cry
your folks might understand you
by and by
move on up
towards your destination
you may find
from time to time
complications

bight your lip
and take a trip
though there may be
wet road ahead
you cannot slip
so move on up
and peace you will find
into the steeple
of beautiful people
where there's only one kind

so hush now child
and don't you cry
your folks might understand you
by and by
just move on up
and keep on wishing
remember your dreams
are your only schemes
so keep on pushing
take nothing less -
not even second best
and do not obey -
you must have your say
you can past the test

move on up!

2007-04-11T14:52:00.000+02:00

BOXES

i started to pack. it is funny how much a shelf can hold. i definitely own too much stuff. and what's worse ... i own too much heavy stuff. did you know that the complete asterix collection alone weighs over seven kilo? what's 14 pounds if you are not willing to calculate ... and it's the paperback version. and not my only collection ... *sigh only thinking of saturday makes my back hurt.

but there are good sides too ... i mean besides getting your own space, where you can do whatever you want, whenever you want ... as loud as the neighbours allow ;D while i was sorting out things that i don't need anymore i found some treasures. two to be explicit. in the farest back of the topshelf of my entertainement-rack i found two dusty tapes ... the two long missed, often searched and never found precious cora frost movies you cannot bye anywere. i am talking about "l'amour fou - the incredible world of cora frost" and TA DAAAAAH "tigerstripebaby meets tarzan" a movie that is as extraordinairie as it's title, it's about alien invasion, love, death, and woman kissing woman ... and i will have to wait another two weeks for my tv *sigh

but who cares, i found a treasure =D, i think i'll take it to bed with me tonight ;D

and because i will fill some more boxes tonight (books are nearly stored, i think we can pack the dvd's now) the song of today is obvious

artist: simon and garfunkel
song: the boxer
album: old friends. live on stage

i am just a poor boy.
though my story's seldom told,
i have squandered my resistance
for a pocketful of mumbles,
such are promises
all lies and jest
still, a man hears what he wants to hear
and disregards the rest.

when i left my home
and my family,
i was no more than a boy
in the company of strangers
in the quiet of the railway station,
running scared,
laying low,
seeking out the poorer quarters
where the ragged people go,
looking for the places
only they would know.

lie-la-lie...

asking only workman's wages
i come looking for a job,
but i get no offers,
just a come-on from the whores
on Seventh Avenue
i do declare,
there were times when i was so
lonesome
i took some comfort there.

lie-la-lie...

then i'm laying out my winter clothes
and wishing i was gone,
going home
where the New York City winters
aren't bleeding me,
leading me,
going home.

in the clearing stands a boxer,
and a fighter by his trade
and he carries the reminders
of ev'ry glove that laid him down
and cut him till he cried out
in his anger and his shame,
"i am leaving, i am leaving."
but the fighter still remains

lie-la-lie...

2007-04-10T12:44:00.000+02:00

THE FINISHING MOVE

after i am no guy and therefor not able to grow a beard (don't be silly, i know it and i don't even want to THINK about it) i had to cut my hair ... so i did. i tortured my sister into cutting my hair on match length which makes her whimper during the whole process because she had a very hard time cutting the stubborn wire populating my head into a decent do during my halfhearted approach of letting it grow. but she understood, that it had to be done to close this case ... plus i will not sweat this much in the neck when i will move my furniture on saturday =D

it seems i'm done with the whole relationship emotionally now =D and after two days i even get kind of used to my new pic in the mirror.

i had a fantastic easter with my little nephew who is a genius like his aunt ... just to inform you, he invented his own way of moving around, funny mix of crawling and sliding ... and he is fast!!! he can stand up. everytime he falls he manages to land on his cushioned backside. he is still a great entertainer and makes everyone smile and believe it or not he can throw!! with aiming!! i was really impressed. (no it was no accident! he did it five times in a row, and he is not this bad in catching too. seems he will be a great handballer like his proud auntie) by the way, he bit his first head of. it was an evil fight, because he still has no teeth (not a single one) so the poor easterbunny was drowned in saliva first, but then the head was off ... hip hip hooray.

i think the ingeniousness of her child was the only thing that could sooth the pain of my sister seeing 10 month of work floating to the ground. but i told her the same i tell you: the song of the day ...

artist: eurythmics
song: the first cut
album: touch

the first cut - is a criminal thing
the first cut - goes deeper in
each impression
makes a chain reaction
each impression
will never be never be never be
broken

i'm a white girl - you can see my skin
look at this picture - that i 'm living in
and old scores
never settle down
i'll keep on walking
till i'm burried in the cold ground
cold ground
cold cold ground

2007-04-05T11:43:00.000+02:00

HAPPY EASTER

sometimes everything just fits together ... is it destiny? i don't believe in this so i would call it coincedence and grin widely because i like things like that =D

so you might ask yourself which book i might choose to marry ... it would be my favourite one, the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy ... i don't know if you read it but to me it's the most important book ever written ... and i can say this, because i am the ministress of silly ;D

so if you are a douglas adams virgin, here's a good reason why you have to love his books:

"and then, one thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, a girl sitting on her own in a small café in rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. this time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything.
sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell about it, a terrible, stupid catastrophe occured, and the idea was gone forever. ... "

and doesn't this fit excellently to easter? just as the song of the next four days?

artist: hedwig and the angry inch
song: nailed
album: hedwig and the angry inch soundtrack

by the gold light of your halo i wanna nail ya
give you lovin' and devotion that won't ever fail ya
wanna run my mouth over your wounds
and fall on the ground
and the holes in your hands and your feet they help to nail you down

nail ya down
nailed
nailed
nailed

they made you christ to get ya nailed
when you hover in the night like a holy vision
with the crimson and the purple of your incision
wanna run my fingers through your hair and over your pale skin
on the fringe, shit, jesus christ man, you sure wanna nail him

get ya nailed
nailed
nailed
nailed
they made you christ to get ya nailed

he died for me
died for no one else
he died for no one
and he'd see and complain
oh the sweet and the sigh, to pain

and your heart is left out naked and exposed
i wish that you had left more to the eye
and i can't find the words to say i love you
and why and why and why and why and why ha

nailed
nailed
nailed
it's just a fight to get ya nailed
they sent you christ to get ya nailed

(wow, two of my favourites on one day ... i really deserve little break =D )

2007-04-03T11:31:00.000+02:00

MAYBE A BIT TOO RADICAL

ok, it seems this breakup thing is somehow epidemic ... but whatever happens, there is always hope. see what reached me this morning. my dear friend frank sent me piece of newspaper ... and i have to share this.

if you are single and sick of it, go to india and marry a book. i don't know what's wrong with the indians, last year i think a woman married a tree ...

well anyway, the reason why this 60 year old woman married the holy book of hinduism was, she didn't want to marry a guy ... completely understandable =D ... and she was sick of being called an old maid by her whole village ...

i am interested, if you are desperate enough to think of marrying a book, which one would it be?

and what is the perfect song for today? - right!

artist: ultra naté
song: if you could read my mind
album: i have no idea

if you could read my mind love
what a tale my thoughts would tell
just like an old time movie
bout a ghost from a wishingwell
in a castle dark or a fortress strong
with chains upon my feet
you know that ghost is me

i don't know where we went wrong
but the feeling's gone
and I just can't get it back
if you could read my mind, yeah

if you could read your mind love
what a tale my thoughts would tell
just like a paperback novel
the kind that drugstores sell
when you reach the part where the heartache comes
the hero would be you
heroes often fail

never thought I could feel this way
and I've got to say
that I just don't get it
i don't know where we went wrong
but the feeling's gone
and I just can't get it back

if you could read my mind
if you could if you could if you could read my mind
if you could if you could if you could read my mind

if you could read my mind love
what a tale my thoughts would tell
just like an old time movie
bout a ghost from a wishing well

if you could read my mind love
what a tale my thoughts would tell
just like a paperback novel
the kind that drugstores sell
and when you reach the part
where the heartache comes
the hero would be you
heroes often fail

2007-04-02T10:26:00.000+02:00

TALKS #29 - THE BONES ARE ACHING BUT THE LUNGS ARE NOT

i am a bit late with this one but i have a good excuse ... i had to move this weekend.
so this explains why the bones are aching, why i'm late with the podcast and why the podcast is about breakup songs ... and if i read any "i feel so sorry for you"-crap in the comment box i will not talk to you ever again =D

so if you are not afraid to get involved in my bullshit listen to this nice collection of wonderful angry breakup songs called no family pack

artists in order of appearance

leave me alone - the frank popp ensemble

breakin' up - gwen stefani

like the way i do - melissa eteheridge

i will survive - cake

alone in my room - skin

pet names - shmashmouth

this dream is over - mando diao

don't need this - melanie c

eisbär - the dresden dolls

laisse tomber les filles - elke brauweiler

ode to divorce - regina spektor

2007-03-29T17:18:00.000+02:00

ALL NEW AND SHINY

is it spring? everything's new around me ... for example: i work in the redlight district ... well actually i don't work in the horizontal business ... i like to sleep in my bed, and all the activities happening there would better never been called "work" by anyone who wants to keep their head ... anyway, i work there - in an office - and at lunchbreak today i noticed something "new" ... one of the sexshops has a new concept, they feature the "new man", what means they have a gay area at the first floor now, including darkroom and everything ... well, so is written on the window ... i mean ... hello? ... we are talking about a place where giggling boys and sad old men sneak in to watch weird videos in a cabin ... can you imagine tom of finland stepping in there? anyway ... me thinks that's a really weird combination

same as the other new thing in my life: schöfferhofer grapefruit. it's a beer, a hefe to be explicit. and i have to admit i am a beer snob, i mean i am german, we invented the stuff, i was pissed when they started to mix beer with other things. usually they put different flavoured soda in beer, but they up to now they spared the poor hefe. a few years ago they ruined it with bananajuice ... börks ... so i was a bit sceptic to see this hefe with grapefruit now. but nosey as i am i tried it ... and surprise!!! it's good =D well after you knocked the first few bottles down ;D
i recommend to drink it right out of the bottle, using a glas will mean it will seem that someone with a serious kidney problem peed in it. oh, and make sure it is cold ... the colder the better. i am still in testing phase and will report as soon as i found out how it tastes frozen =D

*sigh, i love science experiments =D

anyway, the song of the day is not new but i like it, so here is what i think you will definitely get when you mix the hip new man with the hip new drink ... in a hip new darkroom ...

artist: frank pop ensemble
song: hip teens (don't wear blue jeans)
album: ride on

everybody knows us
we’re always - where it’s at
everyone meets us - and wants to join our gang
we know how - to swing our thing
we know where - the in-crowd is
we’re the guys - to see you right
if you wanna set - the night alive

hey - everybody, 1 – 2, 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 aaaahhhhhhh
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re cool cats, - we got soooouuuuul
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re the in-crowd - on the sceeeeene

everyone join us,
there’s a few simple rules
you need the right look babe, - ‘cause we don’t - suffer the fools
eternal yak - that really goes
high heel sneakers - with pointed toes
mini shirts - and chelsea boots
the smartest boys - in velvet suits

hey - everybody, 1 – 2, 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 aaaaahhhhhhh
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re cool cats, - we got sooooouuuuul
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re the in-crowd - on the sceeeeene

solo (git)

hey - everybody, 1 – 2, 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 aaaaahhhhhh
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re cool cats, - we got sooooouuuuul
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re the in-crowd
on the sceeeeeene - ohhh nooooo

hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re cool cats, - we got soooouuuuul
hip teens, - don’t wear blue jeans
‘cause we’re the in-crowd
on the sceeeeeene

2007-03-28T14:26:00.000+02:00

TURKS AND PORN

the education of today is: istanbul not constantinopel ... was a song by they might be giants .... and the city of constantinople, half european half asien, devided by the bosporus was named istanbul on the 28th of march in 1930. on the same day, just 47 years later ... shall i wait while you do the math? ... a young woman was born in new jersey ... or maybe in pennsylvania ... called devin. and she seemed to know jenny because when she became a stripper, we all know that you have to change names for that, she choose devon ... i don't get it ... anyway, she participated in a lot of movies - i think about watching one of them just for the research ... has anyone seen a film with her? i learned she is famous for interactive porn movies ... i mean besides the common thing, how "interactive" can a porn movie get??? so if anyone can tell me ... you know where the comment box is. and while you are there, can you leave your porn name? over here it's the name of your first pet and the english translation of your mothers maiden name ... i don't know what's your usual procedre, but i am excited to read them ... and you can call me "hansi stonecreek" now =D

so the song ... what? ... what this has to do with istanbul? well, besides the same date ... nothing i guess, well maybe the minarettes are a bit phallic ... not to speak of the big boob =D

artist: truck
song: it's just porn mum
album: i think that's the only song they ever made

friday after dinner
situation is the same over again
mum she wants to watch the news
but i just want to watch the film at ten
so i get my way again
halfway through the movie
naked bodies getting groovy on the screen
mum she changes channels, turns away
she can't believe what i just seen
embarrassed she starts to clean

it's just porn mum
you're running away
you wouldn't believe
what the kids see today

it's just porn mum
and it wont go away
wherever you turn
you find porn everyday

it's just...
billboards on the way to school
use porn to make their shit look really cool
so cool
girls i see on MTV
cover the fact their bands all look like fools
but their videos make me drool

it's just porn mum
you're running away
you wouldn't believe
what the kids see today

it's just porn mum
and it wont go away
wherever you turn
you find porn everyday

it's just porn mum
just porn mum
it's just...

mum i know that you're embarrased
but just face it
we can leave the movie on
don't think that i am so naive
that i don't have a clue where i came from

it's just porn mum
you're running away
you wouldn't believe
what the kids see today

it's just porn mum
and it wont go away
wherever you turn
you find porn everyday

it's just porn mum
you're running away
you wouldn't believe
what the kids see today

it's just porn mum
and it wont go away
wherever you turn
you find porn everyday

it's just porn mum,
just porn mum
porn mum,
it's just porn mum
it's just porn mum
just porn mum
it's just porn

2007-03-27T10:31:00.000+02:00

ANOTHER HAPPY BIRTHDAY

did you know that quentin tarantino was named after a character burt reynolds played in smokin guns? ... me didn't so i'm again a bit smarter today ... on the other hand i forgot what i said to my coworker yesterday, what makes me think i start to get senile, what's only a problem for a while, i count on getting senile enough to forget what's talking at all ...
but i didn't forget that i love tarantino movies ... i mean not only the movies are extraordinairie, also is the music ... perfect mix for me right? and they are strange, and bloody and strange and jawdropping and bloody and great stories oh, did i mention they are bloody?? anyway, besides the fact about his name i learned he has a foot fetish, because of all the close-ups of naked feet in his movies (i didn't even noticed that as something strange...)
and because the lword had it's season finally on sunday i'll post a song of jackie brown today ... i thought about the pam grier song, but these lyrics weren't talking to me today ... or i just forgot what they said - but damn she looked hot in that movie =D ... i cannot remember a shot of her naked feet ... hmmmmmmmmm, maybe size ten is too big for him? it was ten the sneaker offered her right? ... anyway, i think i'll watch it tonight, just to celebrate mr. tarantinos birthday ... and maybe i watch kill bill too =D

so here's the song i picked today, hey pam grier is the leading character ... i think that counts too!!!

artist: delfonics
song: didn't i (blow your mind girl)
album: jackie brown ost

i gave my heart and soul to you, girl
didn't I do it baby.... didn't i do it baby

gave you the love you never knew, girl
didn't i do it baby... didn't i do it baby

i've tried so many times and that's no lie
it seems to make you laugh each time i cry

didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i, oh
didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i
listen

i thought that heart of yours was true, girl
now didn't i think it baby, babe... didn't i think it baby

but this time i'm really leavin' you, girl
hope you know it baby... hope you know it baby

ten times or more, yes, i've walked out that door
get this into your head, there'll be no more

didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i, oh
didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i

didn't i do it baby... didn't i do it baby
didn't i do it baby... didn't i do it baby

ten times or more, yes, i've walked out that door
get this into your head, there'll be no more

didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i, oh
didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i
i got to live baby
didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i, oh
didn't i blow your mind this time, didn't i

2007-03-26T10:40:00.000+02:00

THE SEASON IS OPENED

after showing a pump on thursday it's high time to inform you, that the bicycle season is open again =D what means - dear pedestrians - you better move your bloddy asses OFF my bikeway, otherwise i'll run you over. PLUS it means we have to be prepared for another comeback of winter. actually i started bikeseason last week ... well i managed to go to office by bike on tuesday, what causes a temperature drop and sleet on wednesday ... but now, and after switching to cest again, i think we can count on spring ... i still think we'll have snow on easter, but then it will be over =D

so here we go, with THE bicycle song

artist: queen
song: bicycle race
album: greatest hits

bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle
i want to ride my bike
i want to ride my bicycle
i want to ride it where i like

you say black i say white
you say bark i say bite
you say shark i say hey man
jaws was never my scene
and i don't like star wars
you say rolls i say royce
you say god give me a choice
you say lord i say christ
i don't believe in peter pan
frankenstein or superman
all i wanna do is

bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle
i want to ride my bike
i want to ride my bicycle
i want to ride it where i like

bicycle races are coming your way
so forget all your duties oh yeah!
fat bottomed girls they'll be riding today
so look out for those beauties oh yeah
on your marks get set go
bicycle race bicycle race bicycle race
bicycle bicycle bicy i want to ride my bicycle
bicycle bicycle bicycle
bicycle race

you say coke i say caine
you say john i say wayne
hot dog i say cool it man
i don't wanna be the president of america
you say smile i say cheese
cartier i say please
income tax i say jesus
i don't wanna be a candidate
for vietnam or watergate
cos all i want to do is

bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle bicycle bicycle
i want to ride my bicycle
i want to ride my bike
i want to ride my bicycle
i want to ride it where i like

2007-03-22T14:29:00.000+01:00

TALKS # 28 - ANATOMY OR PRECISION MECHANICS?

i am sorry, no tOni again. but a whole day earlier than usual =D and such a nice theme .... THE HEART ... let's talk about all the sentimental stuff around a simple pump. oh, i haven't talked about deseases ... how could i forget that?

anyway, i hope you'll enjoy this little piece of entertainement and follow all the recommendations =D oh, and when you are in the mood for commenting ... i would love to read your rhymes ... i am espeacially interested in rhymes with lobster tart ... but you are encouraged to be creative as hell ... after listening to this crap i disrespectfully named

the overrated pump

artists in order of appearance

ode to the lonely heart - sugar ray

there must be an angel - eurythmics

this old heart of mine - the isley brothers

heart of glass - nouvelle vague

piece of my heart - janis joplin

someday sweetheart - caterina valente

good heart - feargal sharkey

hungriges herz - mia.

feel the machine - chalets

strict machine - goldfrapp

barracuda - heart

heartbeats - jose gonzales

2007-03-21T09:54:00.000+01:00

THE SUFFERING OF THE YOUNG MINISTRESS

i am all well again, and i don't know if that's good. i mean, i didn't know how sick i really was until my body was pumped with antibiotics and every single germ in my system died a tragic death. plus, when you have a throat infection you don't like to smoke anymore ... well me doesn't like to smoke anymore ... not that i would call myself a chimney ... but i definitely smoke enough to desentisize my nose a bit ... so imagine the surprise when me got out in public again ... not only noticing i am able to breathe, but also able to smell ... what is very nice when you are in the park passing the first blooming bushes (i saw that sparkle in your eye, nasty ... stop grinning i'm talking about plants!!!) anyway ... it's no fun anymore when you enter the public transport system.

i mean all the caverns in my head are suddenly unoccupied and trying to fill themselves with air ... unfortunately i am surrounded by stinking people ... and i can't even blame them because i think my nose is just oversensitive ... i mean i met a friend this morning and i still can smell his perfume on my shirt ... kind advice: be careful with hugging gay guys ;D ... it's weird, my smelling abilities are on 150% minimum ... and i don't like it ... but i think i know how to cure that =D plus i will get my coughing back too =D ...

hand me a fag please

artist: nana mouskuri
song: smoke gets in your eyes
album: nana in new york

they asked me how i knew
my true love was true
oh, i of course replied
something here inside cannot be denied

they said someday you'll find
all who love are blind
oh, when your heart's on fire
you must realize
smoke gets in your eyes

so i chaffed them and i gaily laughed
to think they could doubt my love
yet today my love has flown away
i am without my love

now laughing friends deride
tears i can not hide
oh, so i smile and say
when a lovely flame dies
smoke gets in your eyes
smoke gets in your eyes

2007-03-19T15:05:00.000+01:00

SIGNS AND WONDERS

believe it or not, i am still alive =D
short update ... i was on vacation, i told you i will see my nephew ... and this shortnecked monster infected me with the most evil germs that ever entered my poor little body ...

i spear you the details ... just know that it was evil

and i survived =D

so back to business as usual ... what means crawling around on my knees begging tOni to do another podcast with me =D

but before i can celebrate my succeding in sweettalking tOni into a podcast i have to pick the song of today ... it's a very easy choice ;D

artist: cake
song: i will survive
album: fashion nugget

at first i was afraid.
i was petrified.
i kept thinking i could never live
without you by my side.
but then i spent so many nights
just thinking how you'd done me wrong.
i grew strong.
i learned how to get along.
and so you're back from outer space.
i just walked in to find you here
without that look upon your face.
i should have changed my fucking lock.
i would have made you leave your key
if i'd have known for just one second
you'd be back to bother me.

oh now go.
walk out the door.
just turn around now.
you're not welcome anymore.
weren't you the one
who tried to break me with desire?
did you think i'd crumble?
did you think i'd lay down and die?
oh not i.

i will survive.
as long as i know how to love
i know i'll be alive.
i've got all my life to live.
i've got all my love to give.
i will survive.
i will survive.

it took all the strength i had
just not to fall apart.
i'm trying hard to mend
the pieces of my broken heart.
and i spent oh so many nights
just feeling sorry for myself.
i used to cry.
but now i hold my head up high.

and you'll see me with somebody new.
i'm not that stupid little person
still in love with you.
and so you thought you'd just drop by,
and you expect me to be free.
but now i'm saving all my lovin'
for someone who's lovin' me.

oh now go.
walk out the door.
just turn around now.
you're not welcome anymore.
weren't you the one
who tried to break me with desire?
did you think i'd crumble?
did you think i'd lay down and die?
oh not i.

i will survive.
as long as i know how to love
i know i'll be alive.
i've got all my life to live.
i've got all my love to give.
i will survive.
i will survive.

2007-03-02T13:42:00.000+01:00

TALKS #27 – TISSUE ANYONE?

my dear little sick listeners ... i feel a bit guilty reading about everyone coughing and sneezing. i know you know how allergic i am against having a cold, so you might like to hear that me managed to fight my cold down in 36 hours with staying in bed and sweating ... no, don’t look this way, i was wearing a pj ... nasty bunch, i thought you were ill!!! ... tsk, anyway, nice as i am i tried to make you feel a bit better with some nice music. i hope you get better really soon and have a little bit fun with this audiopathic medicine especially invented just for you which is called the cougher-mix we do not take charge for any upcoming sideeffects!!!

oh, and i hope the two people that were lucky enough to stay healthy, take it as prevention =D

artists in order of appearance

hatschi-waldera – nina hagen

fever – elisa

vitamin pills – toni collette & the finish

down by the water – pj harvey

go to bed – the cure

jimmy olson’s blues – spin doctors

not the doctor – alanis morisette

the nurse – the white stripes

medication – queens of the stone age

trouble sleeping – corinne bailey rae

gonna be better - gabrielle

2007-02-23T10:12:00.000+01:00

TALKS #26 – A LIGHT SMELL OF SULPHUR

there are rules in life ... some are useful some are not and most of them go back to the big old book of rules, the bible. yes we are talking about religion today ... a dangerous area, but i’m not afraid ... i am a dangerseeker =D plus i think i’m getting sick. another big rule of life, going back to murphy’s laws i think ... if you are going to have two weeks of holiday you’ll get a cold instantly. and maybe this isn’t only a cold ... it feels like the flu! my nose is dripping, my throat feels rough, my back hurts ... oh, and my right elbow hurts, what’s usually THE sign for me getting a cold. so once again i have to ask for your kindness, because of all the coughing at the end of this atheistic podcast about religious icons. it’s all a product of an early feverrush but the title is nice, it’s called blasphemian rhapsody

artists in order of appearance

curch of the poison mind – culture club

god gave rock’n’roll to you – kiss

god is a real estate developer – michelle shocked

mon dieu – edith piaf

oh my god – p!nk

do it with madonna – the androids

madonna – cocorosie

human nature – madonna

personal jesus – depeche mode

confessions – violent femmes

salvation – the cranberries

faith – george michael

2007-02-16T10:11:00.000+01:00

TALKS # 25 – THANK YOU VERY MUCH

see what you’ve done? – turning me into a weak little buch of german meat, all oochiegoochie, overwhelmed with feelings and all this crap ;D

so i think you deserve this.
because it’s all your fault. you - and only you - are responsible for this piece of sentimantal rubbish called all is full of love

artists in order of appearance

it must be love – madness

where do you go to my lovely – peter sarstedt

millionaires of love – jan & ilse

there’s too much love – belle & sebastian

my love is – holly golightly

love is a many splendoured thing – henry mancini

that ole devil called love – alison moyet

das liebeslied – annett louisan

je dis aime ich sag liebe – mia.

l’amour – carla bruni

mon amour tokio – pizzicato five

good bye my love – demis roussos

2007-02-14T10:28:00.000+01:00

I'M A COLD HEARTED BITCH

that's why to me this valentines thing is just a day that flower and chocolat sellers all over the world invented to sell more stuff. but when we already have a valentines day, let's celebrate a valentin ... karl valentin, extraordinairie german comedian, dada-artist, friend of bert brecht, tragic figure, a total genius at using and reinventing the german language ... what do i say ... a god of words ... and one of my heroes. to me THAT'S valentin's day

yes, yes ... and because i'm not only coldhearted but being blessed with a fatal backbonelack too i should mention that i love you ...

especially the someone that said these nice three little words to me this morning,

all of you visiting this silly blog frequently and be nice to me,

our dear slogan.x who's birthday is today (sad thing, that means she'll get less presents ... i always feel with people who's birthday is on usual present-days)
such as karin, who noone of you know, but who is a spacecadett i really adore

AND i just found out it's ale's nameday ... shoutout to the vespa-girl

big gay hugs to everyone and here's just for you some sentimental crap also known as: the song of the day

artist: wet wet wet
song: love is all around
album: end of part one: greatest hits

i feel it in my fingers
i feel it in my toes
love is all around me
and so the feeling grows
it's written on the wind
it's everywhere i go, oh yes it is
so if you really love me
come on and let it show

you know i love you, i always will
my mind's made up by the
way that i feel
there's no beginning,
there'll be no end
'cause on my love you can depend

i see your face before me
as i lay on my bed
i kinda get to thinking
of all the things you said, oh yes i did
you gave your promise to me and i
gave mine to you
i need someone beside me
in everything i do, oh yes i do

you know i love you, i always will,
my mind's made up by the
way that i feel
there's no beginning,
there'll be no end
'cause on my love you can depend

got to keep it moving
oh it's written in the wind
oh everywhere i go, yeah, oh well
so if you really love me, love me, love me
come on and let it show
come on and let it show
come on and let it
come on and let it (come and let it show, baby)
come on, come on, come on let it show baby
come on and let it show
come on and let it show, baby
come on and let it show

by bit (bit by bit, bit by bit)....

2007-02-09T10:33:00.000+01:00

TALKS # 24 - LEARNING SWEDISH

ok, don't be afraid ... it will not be IN swedish ... actually just one song is not in english, but anyway, it's more ABOUT sweden ... well, honestly it's more about my affinition to sweden =D so maybe i should call it learning nico ... =D anyway, sweden has a great influence on me. i was surprised that a lot of the songs i actually listen to are from swedish bands. but the swedish infiltration of my innocent brain started back in my childhood days - maybe sweden can be blamed for me being this weird ;D
anyway, i loved astrid lindgrens books ... pippi longstocking of course, karlson!!!, the kids of bullerbü, michel, ronja, the kids from summer in saltkrokan ... those were the kids i really would have loved to grow up with, not this bunch of boring brickheads i had to deal with ;D ... i always liked that the swedes are the liberal and openminded people they are, it's a funny folk and the girls are beautiful ... hey, and they brought porn to germany, in the early sixties, they are so openminded ;D

but speaking of beautiful girls ... of course i forgot something again: i didn't mention the swedish football team ... very good players AND absolute eyecandy ;D

and we have a saying over here (time to do one of my famous translations again). so when you want to say that you just had a jawdropping moment, we say "alter schwede" i don't know why, but we do it. so because of the beautiful swedish football-ladies and because i think i did a really nice job with this one it is called old suede

songs in order of appearance:

crucified - army of lovers the video!!

super trouper - abba

young folks - peter, bjorn and john

my favourite game - the cardigans

it's not the fall that hurts - caesars

let's make history - the (international) noise conspiracy

roxette - the look

the comeback - shout out louds

you are the light by which i travel - jens lekman (thanx 2 mag)

you can't steal my heart - mando diao

pippi langstrumpf theme

2007-02-08T10:23:00.000+01:00

IT'S SOMEONES BIRTHDAY TODAY

so a really really REALLY!!! big hug goes out to a fellow kelkian we all love

MISS GREEN MACHINE

and what's the perfect song for the day? - yes!

artist: michelle shocked
song: on the greener side
album: captain swing

send me a dozen long stem roses
i tell you what i will do
i'll bend them into a crown of thorns
and send it right back to you

your love, love, love
don't keep me satisfied
and though i've never been there
i know it's always greener
on the greener side

say you wanna give me a run for my money
here's something i'm gonna admit
it may sound funny, but Romeo, honey
i don't want none of your

love, love, love, it
don't keep me satisfied
and though I've never been there
i know it's always greener
on the greener side

my love is like a wishing well
your love is like a clear blue sky
sometimes it takes a thunderstorm
to fill me when i'm dry

your love, love, love
don't keep me satisfied
and though i've never been there
i know it's always greener
on the greener side

2007-02-02T09:40:00.000+01:00

TALKS #23 - THOSE WERE THE DAYS

welcome to a timetrip back to the 80ies ... when everything was better, well except of our taste in colour combinations and haircuts ... don't you think the guy who invented this palmtree-do should be trapped forever in the deepest dungeons of hell? het-hell. i bet the haircuts of the 80ies where the cause why hairdressers have to prove their gayness before getting their license nowadays ... anyway, those were the days. we all ran around in sneakers, funny t-shirts, listened to wild music, tried to shock our parents with piercing our faces and colour our skins ... wait ... i get the feeling that the only thing that really changed is that my back starts hurting when i bend down to pick my socks up ...

but something else changed. MY tv statin ... i mean the one they especially invented JUST FOR ME ... i am talking about music television ... changed into a constant ringtone commercial programm... i am to old for this ... i think i can understand what my parents thought, when i was glued to the screen in these days, watching flashing lights, streaming fabric, clothes and hair dancing in windmachine storms and very very weird people doing very very weird moves ... when you think about it it's ridiculous, but we thought it's wild ... anyway, i think they might felt like i feel now, when i am confronted with 7000 numbers per second ... 14 informations on screen and everything is so tiny ... *sigh ... but let's not think about that, let's think about the good old days when mtv was brandnew and wild and crazy and packed with wonderful clips. let's enjoy the songs that will always remind us on excellent but very very short movies

tracks in order of appearance:

video killed the radio star - the presidents of the united states of america

babooshka - kate bush watch the video

sweet dreams - eurythmics watch the video

word up - cameo watch the video

safety dance - men without hats watch the video

love is a battlefield - pat benatar watch the video

take on me - a-ha watch the video

jeanny - falco watch the video

girls on film - duran duran watch the video

the power of love - frankie goes to hollywood watch the video

2007-01-30T13:11:00.000+01:00

ANOTHER BIRTHDAY

today we'll honour a great actress, who is going to be - do you sit? - 70 today. vanessa redgrave. i totally adore her. and even though she is completely different from signora loren who is nearly the same age, she is extraordinairy beautiful ... i do not encourage her to take (nearly) nude pictures for a wheel calender, but i also wouldn't tell her she shouldn't =D

so to honour miss redgrave i'll recomend to watch "if this walls could talk 2" tonight or for all the aj addicts in this freaky little community, girl interrupted ... or you might watch smilla's sense of snow??? blow up? howards end? damn she did a lot of movies, watch one tonight

and the song of the day is the only vanessa in my librairie

artist: vanessa paradis
song: one

is it getting better
or do you feel the same
will it make it easier on you now
you got someone to blame
you say...

one love
one life
when it's one need
in the night
one love
we get to share it
leaves you baby if you
don't care for it

did i disappoint you
or leave a bad taste in your mouth
you act like you never had love
and you want me to go without
well it's...

too late
tonight
to drag the past out into the light
we're one, but we're not the same
we get to
carry each other
carry each other
one...

have you come here for forgiveness
have you come to raise the dead
have you come here to play Jesus
to the lepers in your head

did i ask too much
more than a lot
you gave me nothing
now it's all i got
we're one
but we're not the same
well we
hurt each other
then we do it again
you say
love is a temple
love a higher law
love is a temple
love the higher law
you ask me to enter
but then you make me crawl
and i can't be holding on
to what you got
when all you got is hurt

one love
one blood
one life
you got to do what you should
one life
with each other
sisters
brothers
one life
but we're not the same
we get to
carry each other
carry each other

one...life

one

2007-01-26T10:03:00.000+01:00

TALKS # 22 - A HEART FOR TONI

this one was evil! but it made me understand the trouble tOni goes through each time i force her to kick out songs she loves, because we have only an hour. my heart nearly broke when i was forced to reduce myself to 10 movies i love. and it doesn't took a whole night to sink in that i forgot to mention at least 20 great movies i should have mentioned. i think i failed supreme on this one... another podcast on request ... a mean theme ... movies ... i mean i wasn't quite sure if i should better talk about the movie or the songs ... i am afraid i have to do some more movie podcasts ... maybe one just about musicals, what will probably lead to another series of ten ... and what about a podcast just about my favourite gay movies? or my favourite classix ... i can do at least three shows about johnny depp and tim burton, not to mention jim jarmusch ... what i did, not mentioning him (slamming flat hand against forehead)! ... anyway, i think this podcast will have a snowball effect ... i mean i haven't spoken about marilyn monroe, katherin hepburn, audrey hepburn, brigitte bardot, catherine deneuve, fuck i forgot to mention 8 femmes ... aaaaaaaaah, i need more structure, i need more time ... i need your kindness again

take this as the first attempt to TRY to name the ministries favourite movies. but the problem is, i saw too many, and i love too many and i feel bad because not mentioning so many others i love, they have not deserved such a treatment!!!

but anyway, i hope you find it a bit interesting, i hope you saw the movies i mention, that's nicer because of the "yesyes, that scene was great"-thing and if not, i can tell you where you can get them ... and i have to do another one just about gay movies!!! so take this one as a teaser, just a tiny little glimpse into the ministries celulloid closet

oh and if anyone know a word i can use instead of great, mail me, i need it ... i think i overused great a bit in this one ;D

tracks in order of appearance

space patrol - peter thomas sound orcheter

sin city - robert rodriguez

super freak - rick james

all star - smash mouth

wish (komm zu mir) - franka potente & thomas d.

tear me down - hedwig and the angry inch

rain on my parade - bobby darin

pretty - the cranberries

brazil - pink martini

we go together - olivia newton-john & john travolta

feed me - audrey 2

travelin' through - dolly parton

2007-01-23T13:51:00.000+01:00

MYSTERIOUS MUSTARD

"what the hell is dijon mustard?"

ok, this is dijon mustard ... it comes from the city of dijon in france, me preferes this on by maille, a company that produces mustard and vinegar since the 17th century. their mustard was famous at courts in whole europe that time ... unfortunately the last member of the family maille died away in the late years of 18th century. then monsieur de rothschild bought the company. after that it was sold a lot and now it belongs to unilever ... what is the european twin of procter&gamble i think ... but who cares, the mustard is still delicious! =D

WHAT??? - i told you, this year we'll be more educational - ok, smartassing - as usual ;D

and to be kind, i will give you NO celine dijon as treat of the day =D i will give you something else that worships this fine fine mustard

artist: donna summer
song: hot stuff
album: black party grooves vol. 1

sittin' here eatin' my heart out waitin'
waitin' for some lover to call
dialed about a thousand numbers lately
almost rang the phone off the wall

lookin' for some hot stuff baby this evenin'
i need some hot stuff baby tonight
i want some hot stuff baby this evenin'
gotta have some hot stuff
gotta have some love tonight
i need hot stuff
i want some hot stuff
i need some hot stuff

lookin' for a lover who needs another
don't want another night on my own
wanna share my love with a warm blooded lover
wanna bring a wild man back home

gotta have some hot love baby this evenin'
i need some hot stuff baby tonight
i want some hot stuff baby this evenin'
gotta have some lovin'
gotta have love tonight
i need hot stuff
hot love
lookin' for hot love

[instrumental interlude]

how's about some hot stuff baby this evenin'
i need some hot stuff baby tonight
lookin' for my hot stuff baby this evenin'
i need some hot stuff baby tonight, yeah-yeah
i want some hot stuff this evenin'
i want some hot stuff baby tonight

2007-01-22T11:40:00.000+01:00

HOT CHICK - THE RECIPE

ok, the most difficult thing with this recipe is to squeeze it out of tOni ... so from here on it is easy!!

get as much chickenbreast as you want to eat, normally one (or two small ones) per person you want to feed. then you need some chicory ... again one or two per person, (we had three for two, that was perfect) and cocktail tomatoes ... you know, these nice small ones ... take five or six per person, then you need salt, pepper, a cup of cream and of course the divine dijon mustard ... it HAS TO BE dijon mustard!!!

first you put some salt and pepper on the chickenbreasts, then you butter the chicken with the mustard and let it marinate for a few hours (two will be enough but the longer the better)

then roast the breasts carefully in olive oil - watch out, they should not get brown ... when the chick is nearly done, get it out of the pan, put it on a plate and cover them. then cut the chicory in half and put it into the pan, roast it a bit and add the cream, let it boil a bit and wait until the chicory is nearly done. while you wait, cut the tomatoes in half and add them. try it, and add some more salt and pepper if you like.

and TA-DAH you are done ... put it on a plate and serve it ... anddon't blame us when the neighbours bang against the wall in dislike of your moans of delight ;D

and the song of today is just about the title: TO CHINA (the plate) WITH LOVE *roflmao

artist: mando dia
song: to china with love
album: bring 'em in

get on the train cause i'm tired of you, boy
you can come back when you're dressed in blue
you won't get a penny of using me
i'm gonna send you home and hit you on sunday

don't look so small, i'm not bigger than you
but i've got blues enough to smash your bones
i've lit up my life with those matches i've got
from those who stood by me when i was in pain, boy

you're too near me nasty boy-girl
it's pretty bad that you're still around
i'm gonna laugh when you're down and out, boy
i'm gonna laugh when you're on that lonesome ride

back all the way to china in a police car from japan, oh yeah
sitting in the backseat crying
where's your pride?

getting my feet all drained in mud,
i'm gonna clean them when i'm done with you
i don't give a damn if your filthy too
i've got enough soup for my whole generation

your too near me nasty boy-girl.
it's pretty bad that you're round my hood
i'm gonna laugh when you're down and out boy
i'm gonna laugh when you're on that lonesome ride

but all the way to china

drop your blood in china,
you will get rid of that mighty stone, oh yeah
people told me you were a rich man now
where's your pride?

2007-01-19T10:17:00.000+01:00

TALKS # 20 - WHAT YOU USE TO KNOW ABOUT EUROPE

i don't know what you know about europe yet, but i know that the assumptions about europeans are wrong ... in most of the cases. not every german wears a lederhose, not every french has a baguette under his arm (only 80%) and last week they found a swedish guy without blond hair ... not everyone over here is well behaved, as your parents might try to make you believe ... i mean ... do you know why europe is called europe? - here's the story: europe (or as we call her europa) was a princess and zeus, tarned as a bull, kidnapped her to ... well, do what zeus always did with young ladies ... the thing is, europe was laid on the back of bull-zeus, and slept during the whole voyage to kreta!!! - and you know why? because that chick danced her ass off the whole night before he catched her! - and you want to know what exactly made her jump through the night? folkmusic of course ... and now, there's the next big missunderstanding ... folkmusic! some people might have told you, that european folkmusic is nice and full of harmony, praising the landscapes, the history the whatever ... forget it! there are wild folks living in europe, crazy folks, silly folks ... and you have the chance to listen to their music =D

make sure you have enough space around you, when you start listen to it, because you might feel the urge to jump ... oh, and drinking will be also very helpfull to get through this ridicilous piece of audible molesting, that was produced to introduce you to our dark and dangerous side and is called the wild folks of europe

and for all of you, that make it through the whole podcast ... there's a hidden track just to reward you for your efforts ;D

tracks in order of appearance

u samowara - cora frost

calen bite - vuco

poika - hubert von goisern

gypsy beat - poems for laila

think locally, fuck globally - gogol bordello

sadagora hot dub - amsterdam klezmer band

for real - athena

voto latino - molotov

la curiera - desfroos (thanx to ale)

young ned of the hill - the pogues

kürbis - apparatschik